Opinions are like...

We all have opinions - indeed we do, just like we all have... well however, that saying goes. The point is, we all have opinions. What we forget however, is that opinion doesn't equal fact. And yet many of us are guilty of laying down our opinions as if they are irrefutable fact. And we choose our opinions as hills to die on. We state them, sometimes vehemently, and then refuse to budge. We shut out listening to anything else that might conflict with our opinion. In fact, too many of us take any other expressed opinion as an assault on our own opinion. Triggered by fight or flight, the challenge is accepted and the dual begins.

We all play at least lip service to the addage "agree to disagree" but how many of us truthfully honor it? Or is it just an emergency phrase to escape a brutal exchange on a topic.

I think many of us have what I termed "KT" for "keyboard Tourette's." That isn't intended to make light of a very real affliction wherein the central nervous system causes people to have uncontrollable tics of repeated twitches, movements or sounds. KT is more like an attempt to describe the impulsive responses that people send as text messages or comments on social medias, even in emails. We can't seem to help ourselves. We read/hear something we don't like and react immediately with a response, often without logical or thorough thought processes involved.

I'm guilty - guilty as all get out as we say around these parts here. There are some things that I instantly throw down on without taking time to blink an eye. And my responses aren't short. So, it isn't like I flipped a two word response in the heat of the moment. I literally go full blown message. On many occasions, I'll get completely finished and then throw on the brakes and copy, cut and save it into a note in my phone instead of sending the message. Whew! Crisis averted. Because truly, what is the point? Either the person your response is directed to will never read it, or they do and the fight ensues, or/and other people insert themselves into the fray. Basically, it's like a food fight in a cafeteria or a bar fight on a Saturday night. Either food was thrown or a punch and the brawl was on.

Today, I saw the statement, "either you're born with or you're not." So, many people seem to want to bask in the "gifted" category. My KT kicks in and I am compelled every time to respond "not true. We are born naked and screaming. Everything that comes after that is learned. EVERYTHING." So, basically, we have a chance to be anything. I will concede that just like computer hardware, our bodies have certain specs within which our efforts could be constrained. And I will also concede, that sometimes no matter how much passion we have for something, nor how much effort we put into it, we might never excel at something. But we might if we apply ourselves. At the very least, we will become better than when we started. But to say we must be born with the ability to do something or it is impossible to do it is drivel to me. I put the "to me" on there because clearly I'm stating an opinion which does not equal fact. It is just a strongly held belief that I think I could be backed up with fact. And therein is a problem -- I haven't fact checked my belief, and yet, I firmly hold to it. But it is logical to me that we can learn all varieties of things that we didn't know when we were born. We do it every single day, all day long.

So, when in writers groups I hear the jargon, "you're either born a writer or you're not" or "being a writer is something you are, not something you learn"... well, it turns the tips of my ears red. It is bewildering to me that anyone truly believes that. I would hazard a guess that every person that makes those statements does something in their lives that they learned in life that they weren't born to do. Doctors, lawyers, accountants, morticians -- would anyone seriously expect me to believe they were born into those things, otherwise they wouldn't be able to be those things? I think not. That's an opinion by the way. See, I'm getting more in tune with listening to myself so that I'm spotting where and when I spew my opinion as if it were fact.

As I stated above, having a passion for something, and being dedicated about pursuing something does not guarantee you will excel at it. It simply means you will hopefully enjoy your efforts and that you will be rewarded with being better than you were when you started. Even if it were an absolute truth that you had to be born with an ability to be that certain something, logically even that wouldn't matter if you did nothing about it. I once read that a completed mediocre book is better than an excellent book that is never finished. The finished book will get read while the unfinished one will merely take up space on a hard drive or in a drawer never to be seen by anyone other than the writer.

I see this same train of thought in the psychic and witch communities also - "either you're born a psychic/witch or you're not." "Psychics/witches are not made, they are born." Blah, blah, blah. Yes, another opinion and I am being snarky which I shouldn't. I should simply "agree to disagree."

If people want to believe they can't do something because they weren't born with the ability to do it, who am I to intrude on their belief? They are only limiting themselves when they declare they can't do something. I on the other hand am going to keep pushing my boundaries to see where I can go. If I hit a dead end, I'll back up and regroup. And perhaps instead of comparing myself to someone else and then assigning myself as a failure, I should simply investigate who "I" am and what "my" talent is.

And lastly, just because I have an opinion, doesn't mean I need to express it. Why should I or anyone else projectile word vomit all over every remark disagreed with? If one truly believes in respecting the beliefs of others and "agree to disagree," one should merely scroll on. And yet, we trigger and begin writing as though our soul is on fire and we're fighting to free ourselves from eternal damnation. And that reaction is what I dubbed KT - keyboard Tourette's.

So, going forward, I've vowed to try to catch myself in those KT moments and let life roll on. I bet my note app on my phone is going to get really, really full. Sigh....