Old hatred dissolves, but the past never returns!

Old hatred dissolves, but the past never returns!

Except for the warm moments when I think of the baby in my womb, and with my husband, my heart is cold as ice, I don't eat anything you buy, I do not need any gifts from you, I didn't talk to you.

From the moment I signed that paper, marriage and love disappeared from my life. One day my husband tried to go back to the bedroom, you went in, I went out to the living room, you only had a way back to bed in Mom's room.

In the middle of the night, sometimes from your room to the silent noise, I remained silent. This is what you used to say, once when I was angry with you, you'd pretend to have a headache, I'd be anxious to run, gently surrender to my husband, don't care what you're doing, you would stretch out your hand and catch me laughing. You forgot, I'm worried because I love you, and now, what's left between us?

My husband used intermittent screaming to celebrate the day the baby was born. It looks like every day I buy something for you, baby supplies, children's supplies and even childhood books, each covered, filling your room with stuff.

I know my husband used that to touch me, but I don't feel anything anymore. You locked yourself in a room, knocked on a computer, maybe you're falling in love online, but that doesn't mean anything to me.

In the late spring night, a severe stomach pain made me scream, my husband jumped, as if you hadn't changed your clothes to bed, because I was waiting for this moment to come. You drove me down to the house, picked up the car, held my hand all the way, wiped the sweat on my forehead.

To the hospital, you took me to the maternity room. On my thin, warm back, a thought came up in my head: "For the rest of my life, who else can love me like you?"

You push the door of the maternity room, look at me coming in, I try to squeeze the pain and look back at you with a warm look. From the maternity room, my husband looked at me and the baby, and he smiled. I touched your hand. My husband looked at me, smiled, and then, slowly and tired, he fell down. I shouted your name... My husband smiled, but couldn't open his tired eyes...

I thought there were tears I couldn't shed for my husband anymore, but the truth is otherwise, there has never been such a pain as to tear my body apart.

The doctor said that finding my husband's liver cancer is in its final stages, and you've worked so hard so far has been a miracle. I asked the doctor when the cancer was detected. The doctor said five months ago, and then he reassured me, "You have to get ready for the aftermath!"

I didn't care about the nurse's interference, went home, went into my husband's room, turned on the computer, my heart was stifling for a moment. My husband's liver cancer was discovered five months ago, your screaming was real, but I think it was...

There are two hundred thousand words in the computer, which my husband sent back to our children: "Son, because you, I've been persistent, have to wait until you see your son fall, that's my greatest desire... I know you're gonna have a lot of pleasure or challenges in your whole life, and I'd love to be with you all the way you grow up, but I can't.

I rewrite it on my computer, I write down the problems that you might encounter in your life, whenever you're in trouble, I can consult with you... son, after writing over 200,000 words, I feel like I've been with you all my life. Honestly, I'm glad. You have to love your mother, you suffer, you are the one who loves you the most, and you're the one you love the most..."

From the time a child went to kindergarten, then to elementary school, secondary school and university, to finding a job and falling in love, I wrote it all.

My husband also wrote me a letter: "My dear, marrying you as my wife is the greatest happiness of my life, forgive what you hurt me, pardon for hiding my illness, because I want you to stay healthy and mentally waiting for the baby to be born... My dear, if you are crying, that is, I have forgiven you, I will smile, thank you for always loving me... These gifts, I'm afraid I won't have the chance to give myself to you, you help me give you a few gifts every year, on the gift packs I have written the date I will give it...".

Back in the hospital, my husband is still in a coma. I took her, put her beside you, I said, "You open your eyes with a smile, I want your child to remember the warm moments that lie in your heart..."

My husband has difficulty opening his eyes, smiling. He's still in my bosom, holding his little pink hands. I pressed the "separate" camera button, so that the tears flowed through my cheeks...