5 Things To Stop Saying To People With Acne

I started getting acne when I was eleven.

I went through puberty a little earlier than most people around me, so that meant that my struggle was suffered--for the most part--alone. All around me, I had friends who hadn't ever gotten a zit yet, who were playing around like little kids without a care in the world, parading through the hallways with crystal-clear skin that made me jealous. I felt like my beauty had been ripped away from me. Acne was wearing on my confidence, and I wanted to do something about it.

But the struggle continued through my teens, and even into my 20s. I've cycled through different dermatologists, tried different treatments, and tried to take advice even from unqualified sources. And sure, some of these things have worked and produced favorable results. But the fact remains that my skin is acne-prone. I can't forget my skincare routine at night because I'll wake up in the morning with painful cysts. If I discontinue the pill, my skin will purge and break out enormously. If I try to wean myself off of any of my topical creams, it's like my skin is trying to punish me by flaring up with pustules. I'm doing fine, and it's hardly a sacrifice to have to uphold a skincare routine or take some medication. Still, I won't lie: it's never been (and never will be) easy.

But perhaps the hardest thing about having acne was the comments. The things people said when they saw my face, the unsolicited advice that was thrown at me, and the constant ignorance that I witnessed from people who were "just trying to help." I believe that people have good intent. But most acne-sufferers could tell you: words hurt. And there are just a few things that you shouldn't say.

So read on to find out.

1. "Just wash your face!"

Let's be honest here. Don't you think I've tried that? The advice "wash your face" is not only the first thing you'd hear from a doctor or dermatologist, but also the first headline shoved in your face when you Google "how to get rid of acne." It's this universal tip that people seem to think is incredibly unheard of, when in reality, people with acne have been doing this for years with no good results. Acne can be bacterial or hormonal, and trust us, washing our faces isn't enough. So please, do not utter this in conversation.

2. "Have you tried...?"

Please think before you say this. Unless you're a doctor or specialist, most people with acne are going to tune out as soon as we hear these words. This phrase has been done to death. I've heard a lot of rich ideas to "try," including vitamin supplements, creams, cheap drugstore moisturizers, chemicals, etc. But I don't want to listen to anyone unless they're an expert because my skin is delicate, and it will freak out if I try something that's bad for it. Plus, chances are, we've already heard what's about to come out of your mouth, and we probably have tried it. It's not really worth the time.

3. "Makeup makes it worse."

If I had a dollar for every time someone said this to me, I'd probably be richer than Jeff Bezos. (Wellll, that might be a stretch, but you get my point.) In middle school, high school, and college, I was big on makeup because it helped me feel more confident in public places. For some people, it helps conceal their insecurities, prevent getting judgmental looks. A lot of people with acne wear makeup because our insecurities are so deep that they affect our lives in a major way. So if makeup helps someone with acne, why question it or criticize? And in reality, because acne can be hormonal rather than bacterial, makeup is not, in fact, the problem.

4. "Ugh, my skin looks SO bad today."

If you don't struggle with acne, please don't say this, or any variation of it. Everyone gets pimples sometimes, and we all have days when we look in the mirror and feel disappointed at what we see. But for a person with clear skin to talk about their skin looking "bad," or having "bad" breakouts, or developing "acne" when it's really just a bump or two--that can be insulting. It's like when a very thin person claims to be fat in front of a person who is quite obviously heavier than them. It's just not productive, and it makes people hyperanalyze their own looks and insecurities. It's not cool.

5. "That looks painful!"

I'll be honest--I know this comment is mostly uttered with good intent. Usually the person will be looking at someone's cystic acne or abundant scars and, because they have never had acne, they wonder if it's painful. And it's a fair question. For some people (especially those with cystic acne), it is painful. So if you've ever asked this question, there's your answer: it can be. You could also Google it. The point is, making a comment like this only draws more attention to the person's acne, making it the subject of conversation, and the person can feel ridiculed and picked apart. It's an icky feeling. If it looks painful, then that must mean that it's really noticeable and disgusting, right? Those are the kinds of thoughts that run through our heads, and why we don't like to hear something like this.

And there you have it--5 things you should stop saying to people with acne. If you read through this article and now you're sitting here like, Okay, well if I shouldn't say all these things, then what the heck am I supposed to say?!

And to be quite honest, the answer is nothing. We don't need advice, or comments, or criticism, or tips. We don't need attention to be drawn to our skin like it's our only trait. We're people. Yeah, it can be hard to ignore the plethora of red and white bumps on someone's face. Acne is a part of life. But we're not asking you to ignore it--we're asking you to be conscious of our susceptibility to insecurity. We're asking you to realize that we're human, and the fact that we have acne is not news to us. We're asking you to acknowledge that just because it's obvious, doesn't mean it needs to be verbally pointed out. Just converse with us, and have fun.

Believe me, there's plenty to talk about besides the state of someone's skin. Wouldn't that topic get boring after a while, anyway?