The White Light

I wander through the abandoned city. How life can switch so quickly, from a bustling tourist hotspot to a desert of what reality had been only hours ago. Each building that I passed held only memories of what I thought I knew life was. This outwardly spontaneous demise had seemed so unfair, yet perhaps this was just a gradual event. It was always supposed to happen.

There was no time to leave the island, no time to catch a boat or plane. I see the despair etched onto the faces of those who stayed, who didn't go to a high place or hid underground. Those before us had stomped through the city in terror, their souls ever so hungry for a mere chance of survival that would not be granted.

“Onward.”

“Hide.”

“Flea.”

“Time, more time.”

Their pleas were still heard in the wind, desperation dancing with each syllable and sound. But our despair was not caused by regret, or loneliness because of their departure.

They had torn the city apart in their wake. Palm trees that once swayed were now burned down or wrecked. Momentos , trash, and forgotten animals laid in the streets. Begging to be picked up and owned once again. I looked down to the little bird I collected outside of my home when it was finally safe enough to walk outside. It had been sitting in its metal cage, the bars mangled outwards, reaching away from the little white canary as to beacon it to freedom.

It could be inferred that its master had tried to spare its life that day. Not in the conventional way as to bring it with him, but by simply leaving it a pathway out. However mercy's benevolence can only be outstretched to those who will take it without hesitation. Just like me, the little bird decided to stay where it was, conceivably with the internal knowledge that there was no hiding from this. There was no running.

I stroked its head with my thumb as I continued to walk forward. I was not sure if it was injured or not, but the thought did not stay too long in my mind. If it was in pain, it would be out of it soon enough.

“Thank you for staying with me.” I whispered to it, not sure if it could understand me or not. It looked up at me with its black eyes, and I swore I could almost see the stars in them. Speckled ever so slightly as to reveal a secret to me that I had not thought of in years. I nodded my head in agreement, looking away only when the canary had finished its revelation.

“Perhaps you’re right.”

I lifted up my white dress as I walked around a particularly messy oil spill. I had spent the time the others had spent evacuating; bathing, eating dinner peacefully, dancing, painting my nails, and brushing my hair. My nails were now a particular shade of blue one could only find when staring up at the setting sky. When the atmosphere and its light presented us with shades of red and orange, I stared at the east, where the most brilliant of colors is produced, before being engulfed by the blackness of space.

I had been saving the color for a special occasion. Perhaps for my sister's wedding, or the birth of a new niece or nephew. I wonder momentarily if I should tell them all goodbye. Would they be too busy saying farewell themselves?

The cell towers had been down since the first wave of panic struck my neighbors, making it nearly impossible for any of us to send a message to the mainland.

I hear the clicking of wheels behind me, turning and spotting a boy around my age speeding past on a skateboard, covering himself in oil without a care in the world. The liquid splattered the ends of my dress as I instinctively cradled the little bird to protect it.

He stopped as soon as he noticed my presence.

“Sorry miss.” He said, looking at his watch quickly. I took note of a small locket around his neck, glimmering ever so slightly by the late afternoon sun. It seemed familiar somehow.

“Where are you going?” I ask softly, he gazed around wildly, a look appearing in his stare that would’ve scared me yesterday but only comforted me today.

“What do you know?” I asked next.

He told me about the edge of the island and how the military base opened its own reception to the public before evacuating. He wanted to say goodbye to his sister. I wanted to stay by his side.

“We’ll go with you.” I told him.

He nodded, disregarding his skateboard against the burning building near us. It is burning softly now, but once it reaches the kitchen it will completely destroy the rest of the house, the board along with it. I wonder just where that board had been, and where the owners of the house were. Was the object and building always meant to burn together? I look over to the boy next to me. Were we?

We spoke little to no words between us, but I found his hand soon capturing mine as we neared our destination. He was relieved to have a friend for the end of the world, and I was no different. The canary in my free hand, at this point, had closed its little eyes. It’s only proof of sentience was found in the shallow breaths it took.

“I think it’s unwell.” I sighed.

The boy with his much larger hand prodded the bird’s cheek gently with his pinky. “I don’t think it’s suffering too much.” He concluded.

“How do you know?”

“I’m not sure.” He brushed his other hand against my cheek, and I was left shelled by the sudden realization that we had met before. Possibly briefly as an acquaintance, only to meet when necessary, or as more than that. A lover, a friend, perhaps even as a child. I brushed my other hand against his cheek and suddenly I looked much older than I appeared to be, and he appeared much younger.

“The smoke must be playing tricks with my eyes.” I chuckled, smiling as the base neared the horizon. Others were there as well, most likely receiving the same information the boy had. Most were elders who could not have possibly made the trip out of the city, but I saw few people our age as well. Girls with dogs, fathers with motherless children, and couples with resolution and peace centered around each small touch and glance. They all were dressed like me, in whites and other bright and billowy colors, and they all had their phones in the air, watching towards the north in hopes to get any form of connection they could with their limited time. The boy checked his watch beside me before letting go of my hand.

"Here," He handed me the locket around his neck, noticing its bent frame reminded me of a heart. I met his gaze for a clue on why he was handing it to me, but for whatever reason, I understood with an internal intuition that perhaps it was always supposed to be mine. “I will be back.” He told me quickly, ripping his eyes away from me to get closer to the base. Had he always been wearing such soft colors?

I kept towards the edge of the crowd, rubbing the necklace while staring out to the vast ocean. The base was located to the west of the sea, covering what was left of the setting sun. It will be any minute now.

I looked towards the east, where the sky began to reach the same shade I had my nails. Behind me the lights from the city's fire began to intensify and turned what was left of the surface red and yellow. It had been a beautiful day.

I checked the reception on my phone, smiling bitterly at the one bar. It will not allow me a call, but texts could possibly be sent with just this.

“I love you.” I recorded, sending it into a chat of people I will always know and love. Ex lovers who turned friends, my parents, and even old mentors. I managed to get a few responses back, recordings of tearful farewells and affirmations of love were like myriads of answered questions that allowed the final frightened pieces within me to rest. I will no longer be needed.

I threw the device into the sea, watching it sink as the stars peered through the final bursts of daylight. I can hear gasps in the crowd behind me. But I did not dare to look back to see their reaction, I am sure it was just the same as mine. Nothing could rip my eyes away from what was happening just before me.

The easts horizon had begun to glow a brilliant white, starting softly before brightening the world once again, as it had all those years before. We were all bathed in its sterile warmth, lighting each of our faces, leaving no spot of darkness or shadows behind. I looked down to see a hand grabbing mine, the boy had come back, and I peered upwards with gathering tears. They departed from me with the last of my composure and I laughed at the beauty of it all. I once again appeared older, and he much younger. I must've known him his whole life, of course I had. This locket had been gifted to him too, perhaps by me, perhaps by a me in a past that I no longer remembered. His eyes twinkled with the same laughter from our youth, a laughter I too had. I looked down at the bird in my hand, it had died long ago, before I had even taken this journey. I had grieved it on the way, but now she’s here again. She looked up at me with her starlit eyes and I now understood why they shined as they did. I always remembered who I was at the finale twilight of each life, I just wished it could have been sooner.

“Don’t be scared.” The boy sobbed gently beside me, kissing the palm of my hand.

“There is nothing to fear.” I breathed out.

I raised my kissed hand to the light, feeling his fingers grip my arm. His hold was strong, but I felt no pain.

“We are here once again.” He whined anxiously.

“There is nothing to fear.” I repeated.

I finally dared to glance back, seeing both children and adults walk forwards, as others stayed behind. It had always been this way, as the young backed away from the light, the elders always walked towards it. Their arms outstretched in the embrace only this moment could provide. I felt myself walk forward as well. Both the bird and the man letting go of my hand.

I felt them with me as I continued forward. I felt them all with me.

“Nothing to fear.”

I raised my arms one final time, taking a last glance of my hands as they were engulfed in what will become a new beginning. A new life.

The pigment of my nails were the last parts of me to go, that shade of blue had always been my favorite color.