The Retrain

Another webinar, another supposed "Live" recording of another internet mogul, self-proclaimed guru... And they're gonna have some kind of solution.

"Thought Trajectory, Take Control of Your Thoughts!"

Ele turned the volume up on her laptop, trying not to get distracted by the beautiful smile and freshly twisted dreads of the man delivering this message. "Chance Maker"; The name he chose after his spiritual awakening. Chance is a neuroscientist, artist, and has an intriguing TED Talk. "HE is going to have -the answer-!" This is the most high-frequency thought Ele could emit, feeling it traveling from her head to her heart. So much energy! Scrambling for her notebook, Ele relaxes a bit as she tunes in to Chance's buttery voice. He's talking to her through the screen as if he has known her for years.

"I Know, It is SO frustrating, wanting to become something bigger and better than what you currently are. And I know, sometimes you feel SO close, right? You know, deep down, you have what it takes! What if you could just tweak a few of those bad habits? Make the wrong things right? What if you could actually DRIVE your train of thought? Take control of your destination?"

Focused, Ele listened diligently to every drop, as he went over his qualifications, and heart-pounding life testimony. 30 minutes in, Chance, now preparing his audience for a guided meditation. "Find the most comfortable spot in your space to sit, or lay..." Ele scrambles again, this time for her ear pods... Syncing the bluetooth, "Quickly Now!" She thinks anxiously. Swinging her legs onto the sofa, just before she can sigh with relief at the synthetic tone of "bluetooth connected". Chances reassuring voice follows, beckoning her to the bottom of a stairway. "And when you reach the bottom, you step into a room that is filled with a warm, bright light."

She noticed a noise in her headphones, a low hum... Trying to ignore it she focuses harder on the sound of Chance. Feeling so relaxed now. She can feel her body get so heavy, almost like she was becoming one with the sofa.

Suddenly, she heard nothing... And at the same time, she saw everything!... or something. She thought she must have fallen asleep, and maybe her eyes just needed to readjust. She reaches outward, hoping to hit the keyboard, adjust the brightness. But, she suddenly realized her eyes had not yet opened, and she could feel nothing in front of her but warmth. The warm, bright light surrounding her, just as Chance had described it. But, this isn't right. "Where the HELL am I?"... A thought... but this time it echoed in her entire existence, like the voice of God on an overhead speaker! So much anxiety accompanied this thought, she could feel the tightness of fear restraining her; Almost as if it was meant to keep her safe. Suddenly, she was propelling forward! The light now breaking down into flashes, as if she were speeding past it over and over again. She could still feel her lashes against her cheek. Her eyes still had yet to open... She strained every muscle on her face, but it felt like 40mph winds blowing against her face. Until abruptly everything went still.

Opening her eyes, Ele takes in another cleansing sigh. This nightmare, this hypnosis, whatever it was... She was waking up. Her eyes open, and again she can see nothing of recognition. Feeling around, it is like she is blind again. Nothing to see but a muted red, like what you see when you cover your hands over your eyes while blocking a light. All she could hear was that low hum, and what sounded like a loud drum. A pulse. Beating over hear entire existence again. "Get me out of here!" She can hear her own voice echo back, So loud. And then the light.... Overwhelmingly it surrounds her again. Then, she can feel herself propelling forward again at lightening speed! "What is going on?"...Again her own voice reverberates as if its coming from some sort of unseen sky above her. And she feels herself almost being snatched into a different direction. Her head whipping about, she realizes she couldn't feel any pain. Just warmth.

Ele tried to close her eyes again, but she could no longer feel what once was her face. Nothing but warmth, like her entire being was just apart of the atmosphere around her. She had never wanted to cry so badly, as she realized she was losing track of her physical being. In a whimper, she cried out, "HELP!". And suddenly she feels the motion stop again. That low humming, growing louder and louder. Another familiar voice chimes in, "Relax, Ele.".... She reaches out but realizes nothing is there... Not even an arm to reach with. "Chance?" She calls out; she knows it's him. That buttery voice again... It sounds so different when it's echoing all around her. "Hold on!" That's the last thing she hears as she feels the force of movement again....

"Chance?! Please! Tell me what's happening?!" She shouts so loud with a voice that echoed like thunder. Ele, just hoping for another stop. She feels that sudden stillness again. And that voice that she had hoped would have all the answers chimes in, accompanied by a low hum. "Ele, don't worry, we'll get you out of here... You just have to learn how to take control!" The drumming noise again, once distant, grows louder and faster. So weak now, with nothing left but sheer emotion Ele responds, "Out of where?" Immersed in utter curiosity, this time Ele feels herself catapulting upward, like a rocket. Until she is brought to yet another abrupt stop.

This time, the humming was so loud it was unbearable! But in front of her, there are two large openings drawing her near, emitting a light that was not as intense as what had been surrounding her. "Maybe, not so blinding..." she thought. And immediately noticed that this time her thoughts had not rang out into a reverberating echo. She walked closer to these openings, almost like windows, as if she was in an observation car. As she approached, and peered out, she began to finally make out images in what once was nothingness.... "Is that, my laptop?... What is this place? Where am I?" Suddenly she turns to see, those long beautiful dreads, that soothing smile. "This is the control center Ele, I can't stay here long; Neither can you!.... But, once you learn how to control them you can find your way back!". Chance begins fading away... Ele, now frantic, cries out... "Control what???" Her voice rings out again, and once again, the continuing force of motion occurs.... As she wisps away she can hear the distant sound of Chance's voice responding, "Your Thoughts!"