The Girl from Mirakeen

“Up, maggots, up!”

The curtains were drawn, filling my eyes with unwelcome light. I tried to rub wakefulness into my face with my hands and wrapped the thin sheet tighter around me, trying not to shiver. I got up and set my bare feet on the cold, hard floor.

“Lady Jayne is set to arrive today, we need a full sweep of the wing. I want everyone up now or you will be scrubbing into next week!” Gentry’s face was thin and gaunt, his pale skin always a certain shade of red. This morning, the shade was particularly dark.

“Nadya.” He spat out my name like a bad taste in his mouth. “Clean out the bathhouse. Come to me when you’re done.”

The sharp points of his spite jabbed at me like dulled blades. “Yes, Master,” I said, head down. I knew that Gentry would seize upon the smallest opportunity to make my life more difficult. For the colour of my skin or for the fact I came from the refugee camp, I did not know. I may have learned from Father when to stand and fight, but I learned from Mother when not to.

As I scrubbed, I thought. I clutched to my memories of home, trying to retain them despite the battering currents of my life, but also to distract myself from the numbness in my hands, the aching in my knees, the rhythmic sound of my scrubbing.

I thought of warm, pleasant times, which comforted me for a moment. However, the warm and pleasant memories inevitably lead to the painful and wrenching ones. Father, donned in full leather armour, giving me his last kiss. Mother, bidding me pack my things. The Thren are coming, she had said. Yes, the ones from the fairytales. Can’t the magic people save us? I asked, remembering the ending to that fairytale. Not this time, she said, wiping away her tears.

“Oh! I thought you would be done by now. Don’t bother, that will be fine, thank you.”

The voice startled me out of my daydreaming. I hadn’t heard anyone enter, and now a woman that could only be Lady Jayne was standing behind me, wrapped in a towel. I bowed as gracefully as I could manage in my awkward position and mumbled a quick m’lady.

She was a tall woman, with distinctively dark skin, a rarity in this part of the world. She could even be from Mirakeen. The thought shocked me, and I hated her almost as soon as I laid eyes on her. I hated her beauty, her cleanliness, her entitled posture. I had seen many nobles come and go in the past year and I had grown familiar with their demeanor, borne from the unshakeable belief of their superiority. How could she stand there and address me calmly whilst my mother and others like us were outside the city walls, living in mud?

I tried to discern some sliver of emotion, some semblance of guilt, but I soon realised that this woman was different. I didn't really expect any guilt or remorse from a noble lady, but I usually sensed boredom, or disgust. But it was like a tree stood there, beautiful and grounded and yet undaunted and completely ungiving. She looked at me, gazing into me with sharp eyes, “Is there anything else?”

I realised I had been standing there, gawping. “Um, no my lady, my apologies,” and I scuttled out of the room.

###

I walked through the city, carrying a bag filled with whatever food I had managed to pilfer earlier that week. It was my first day off in weeks, and I was determined to get to the refugee camp and find Mother. I wondered how I would get outside of the city walls; I couldn’t leave by the gate as the guards would see that I’m a servant and would assume I’m trying to escape. Could I hide in a merchant’s cart? No, I would have to pay someone, and I had no coins. Unable to think of any better ideas, I decided to walk to the edge of the city and follow the wall. Either there will be a gap in the wall I can sneak out of, or someone will know another way out.

This city was very different from Mirakeen. The walls were thicker, taller, and built from grey stone. The buildings were tall, straight and little decorated, and the ones that were and had nasty little gargoyles that peered at you from above. Though, it was the language I found most jarring. I had a decent grip on it by now, but compared to the music of Miraki conversation it seemed simple and brutish.

As I descended further from the keep the streets got dirtier and narrower and the smell of fish and salt from the docks became more prevalent. I was looking around for someone to approach but I was either ignored or glared at with narrowed eyes.

I decided to head towards the dockyard, hoping to find friendlier faces there. I turned a corner onto a particularly narrow street when I spotted a man walking out through a door ahead of me. He had fine clothes on, almost sparkling in comparison to the bleak muddiness that surrounded him. He looked both ways down the alley before his eyes came to rest on me.

“You there! Are you a court servant? Come here.”

I approached with a small curtsy, “Yes, my lord.” A sign above the door he walked out from read ‘Maggie’s Place’, and sparsely-dressed women leaned out of the windows above him. It didn’t take long for me to guess what kind of establishment it was, or what kind of trouble this nobleman would be in if anyone found out.

The man had fiery red hair cut short, matching his clothes. He took a step towards me, “Say, who do you serve? What is your name?”

I could feel the man’s nervousness, despite him showing very little of it. “Um, Lady Sand, my lord.” I gathered it would be in my best interest for him to not know my identity, as it was easy enough to silence a servant girl. I had been warned enough times what could happen to one who overstepped her station.

Something changed in the man then, although I couldn’t guess at what caused it. His nervousness seemed to fade, his face grew darker. “Funny, I’ve never heard of her. What is a serving girl doing so far from the Keep? Bunking off duties, eh? We can’t have that.” He took another step closer.

Then I felt it. It was like a small bird chirping an alarm at the edge of my awareness. My pulse quickened and my eyes widened in alertness. No longer than a second after I realised what was happening, he lunged toward me. Given that small warning, I jumped back just in time and his hands only caught the edge of my shirt. I brought down my arm to sever his tenuous grip and I fled. I ran as fast as I could, bumping my shoulder into a wall as I turned a corner and slipping on the cobblestones and scraping my knees. I ran and ran through the streets like a stray cat. After taking a series of random turns, I found the wall again and followed it to the keep. Even when I reached the keep, with my lungs bursting in my chest I ran up the stairs all the way to Lady Jayne’s wing. As I ran through the corridor towards the servant’s chambers, I ran straight into someone. I looked up and there she was.

“I’m sorry, my lady! Can I do anything for you?”

She looked at me, aghast. “What happened to you? You look like someone has dragged you through the streets! Come here,” she said, ushering me through to her bedchambers.

“My lady, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I cast my head down in what I hoped looked like embarrassed resignation. Gentry would have something to say about this.

“Oh, stop that! Lady this, Lady that. Just sit down, I’ll have Gentry fetch some fresh clothes and hot water.”

A moment later Gentry poked his head through the door. He exclaimed, “Whatever has happened?” When he spotted me, he said, “What trouble have you gotten yourself into? My lady, please leave this one with me, I can punish her accordingly.”

“You will do no such thing!” As she said this, Gentry practically shrivelled up inside himself, eyes wide. I had never seen him so terrified. “You will fetch me fresh clothes and hot water so I can clean her wounds. Go!” When he left, practically bowing to the floor, she turned to me and said, “That man is a filthy wretch. What happened to you?”

The relief of discovering that her disdain for Gentry almost equalled mine put me at ease considerably. “I was trying to find my mother. Then I saw a nobleman outside a… what’s the word? A place where men pay women to…”

“A brothel?”

“Yes. He started talking to me and I realised he was going to grab me so I ran.”

“A nobleman? Which nobleman?”

I shrugged, “He had red hair.”

Lady Jayne snorted, “I’m not surprised that varmint needs to pay a woman for the pleasure.”

“You know him?”

“Unfortunately, yes... How did you know he was going to grab you?”

“I felt it.”

“Is that so?” Lady Jayne raised her eyebrow, and fell silent for a moment.

Gentry returned and Lady Jayne collected the water and clothes and sent him away again. She began dabbing my skinned knees with a piece of wet cotton. “This might sting a bit.” I winced with the pain, and I found myself watching Lady Jayne with fascination. Of all the nobles I had served, I had been gifted with disgust, disdain, or merely cold indifference. Such kindness had shocked me into silence.

“Listen to me,” I felt the seriousness of her tone as she said, “That man is dangerous. Very dangerous. It was wise that you didn’t tell him your name, but you need to be wary. If he sees you in the keep and discovers where you are staying, he could harm you.”

“Who is he?”

“Lord Karn. His father is one of the most powerful men in the kingdom, and you have discovered a very damning secret about him. Maids and servants have been killed for less.”

My eyes widened but I stayed silent. I recalled what I had sensed earlier in the alley. My response had been purely instinctual, driven by the man’s murderous intentions, the same as a rabbit fleeing a wolf.

“You can’t stay with the other servants any longer. I will tell Gentry you are to be my personal servant, so you can stay in the adjoining room.”

I nodded my assent as I pondered my good luck. I had expected a good scathing and to be scrubbing floors until my knees fell off, not to be elevated to a position higher than Gentry himself.

“Here, put this on and rest. You’ve had quite a scare and I’ve given you a lot to think about.”

I gladly followed her instruction. The excitement and fear of my encounter had worn off by now, being replaced by a deep weariness. I walked into the adjoining servant’s room, clambered onto the soft bed and slept.

###

That night, I was awoken by a hand on my shoulder. “Darling, darling…”

“Mama?” I opened my eyes. Lady Jayne was standing over my bed.

“No, dear. Wake up and come to the reading room.”

I followed her in a bit of a daze and came to a room lined with bookshelves made of a solid dark wood. In the middle of a room sat a small table and two beautifully adorned chairs. She motioned me to sit and I sank into one of the chairs, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I looked out of the window and saw the darkness of night.

“I realised earlier that I still don’t know your name.”

“It’s Nadya.”

She smiled at this, the warmth of which seemed to radiate through the rest of her body, “A beautiful name. I believe it means morning in Miraki, no?”

I nodded, “What is your name, my lady?”

“Lyricia Jayne. But you can call me Lyra, in private.” She winked, and with that action, we were friends. She continued, “I recall you mentioned your mother earlier. Where is she?”

Taken aback, I said, “I fled Mirakeen with my mother after the Thren came. My father stayed to fight. We travelled here and I stayed in the refugee camp outside the city for a while, but my mother sold me to the crown, hoping for a better life for me.”

She reached out and held my hand. “So that’s why you were outside the keep earlier. I’m so sorry, truly.” She stayed like that a moment before saying, “I wasn’t completely open with you earlier, Nadya. You said you felt that Lord Karn was going to grab you, you sensed it. This is by no means a common thing. In fact, it is a gift. A gift I share. I mean to arm you with the knowledge I have so you are more able to protect yourself, if you have a mind to. Would you like that?”

I nodded again. “You don’t mean magic, do you?” I thought it was the most natural thing in the world and never considered it would be a gift, especially magic.

“Yes, Nadya. I see you don’t fully understand yet. In time, you will. I will tell you this; Not many people have the ability to sense someone’s emotions, lesser still have that ability before being trained at all.”

“So you’re one of the magic people?”

“I was.”

“Why didn’t they save Mirakeen like before?”

“That’s why I left. They allowed Mirakeen to fall to conserve their strength. One of the necessary sacrifices of war, they said. I disagreed.”

She took a deep breath. Her face was neutral, but her eyes were hard as stones. “Now, I want you to tell me what I’m feeling right now.”

“Okay” I looked at her and tried to concentrate. Nothing. I could glean no emotion from Lyra at all. I tried to clear my mind and pick up on any small signs, but I was tired, and didn’t even know what I was looking for.

“Don’t try. Just do.”

That only made me more confused. Just do? I was thinking over what she said when I caught something. It was as faint as a whisper in a storm, but it was there. I explored that feeling as one might feel the edges of an object when blindfolded. The only way I can describe it is I wrapped my awareness around Lyra. I felt the shape of her being, her presence. It was smooth; like a small pebble on a riverbed. I pushed lightly, and it gave way ever so slightly, but remained unchanged. I pushed harder; still, nothing. I felt about for a while until I found what I was looking for; a small chink. I pushed into it, and suddenly intense vertigo, fear, and anger flowed through me in a maelstrom of emotion that was all-consuming. I felt like a tiny leaf being ragged about by strong winds. It is no surprise then that I did not feel the sensation of my head hitting the floor, but the impact must have jolted me back to my senses.

“Nadya! Nadya!”

I opened my eyes, not realising they had been closed. Lyra was bent over me, alarm written on her face, shaking me by the shoulders.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” I said in spite of the spinning of the room around me.

She let out a relieved laugh. “Not much gets past you! I’m sorry Nadya, that was my fault. I never expected you to get past my guard.”

“What happened? It felt horrible. That can’t be what you’re feeling can it?”

She shook her head. “No,” she sat down again, thinking. “I have certain safeguards in place, in case anyone gets through my guard. And you pierced it like an arrow pierces leather. ” She rubbed her temples lightly, “Which was a little jarring, admittedly.” She raised her hand to brush my cheek and smiled, “Okay little one, that’s enough for tonight. Go get some rest.”

###

“And what do you think, Luger?” Lyra sat at a long table filled with lavish dishes of meat, soups, pastries, and bread with wine and beer. I stood at the edge of the room behind her, hands behind my back. The large man she directed her question to had a distinctively round belly and a blotchy red face.

He took a sip from his cup and he responded, “What’s to be gained by letting them in? Who’s going to provide for them? Us? We cannot afford to bear such costs if war is indeed coming.” He put his mug down, causing some of his drink to slosh out.

The man was drunk, but his words were honest. There was a fierce debate between the nobles regarding what to do with the refugees. Unfortunately, Luger’s opinion seemed to be the prevailing view amongst them. Over the last few days I had attended all of Lady Jayne’s dinners and parties as her personal servant. As she instructed, I listened with sharp ears and read the men and women present to discover their true feelings.

“You would let these people die?”

He raised his hands in a show of sympathy. “If there was something we could do, then I wish we could do it. But from what I hear our resources are stretched too thin.” It was simple enough to know if someone was lying, with a bit of practice. Even if they didn’t show it, there was always at least a small amount of internal conflict, some disturbance in the tide. All I sensed in this man was indifference, like calm water on a windless day.

“If it’s true that the city is almost full,” an older woman added, “then a siege by the Thren would stretch our food stockpiles very thinly indeed. Letting in stray cats will only add to that burden.” I sensed indifference with condescension.

“You talk of food stockpiles with this feast laid out before you? These people are living on rations,” Lyra responded. Her appearance gave the impression this was a calm reproach, but I could sense the bubbling tide of her anger.

A voice came from the front of the room, “Those people are not from this city, nor even this kingdom.”

A man had entered the room. He had bright red hair.

“Lords, Ladies, greetings. I heard you were meeting for dinner and would be honoured to join you, if you’ll have me.”

I tried to be as still as possible as he walked towards the table and took a seat.

“Of course, Lord Karn, you are welcome,” Lyra said, “but I have to ask, why do you think only people born in this kingdom deserve help? It is merely a chance of birthplace and history that qualifies a person as being from this kingdom.”

“Because those are the people that work in this city and pay their taxes. Why would we waste our energy needlessly?” Lord Karn held a semblance of politeness, but underneath I sensed the needles of his contempt. He smiled as he said, “Lady Jayne, would you take food out of the hands of the people in this city and into the hands of strangers?”

“To avoid the needless deaths of thousands, yes,” she said. I felt her direct a wave of anger at Lord Karn. I saw him go pale, trying not to show his fear as he practically wilted. I tried to hold back a smile.

It was then that he saw me. I had been looking straight at him, revelling in his discomfort, when he glanced behind Lyra and met my eyes. I quickly looked away, but I had seen a flash of recognition on his face.

He continued, “Those people don’t have anything to do with us. Why should we have to pay for their shortcomings? It’s ridiculous! I say banish them from the city and let them fend for themselves.”

Luger interjected while biting into a chicken thigh. “And what happens when our food stocks run out early, Lyricia? Do we nourish ourselves with the goodness of our hearts? Does morality alone fill our bellies?” He gave a short chuckle at his exquisite wit. “I understand your position my lady, truly I do, but you have to be realistic.”

Lyra shook her head. “I simply don’t believe that the capital of the Kingdom, the greatest city for leagues, lacks the resources to aid a few thousand people.”

She steered the conversation away from politics for the rest of the dinner, clearly grated by the other nobles. Lord Karn did not look at me the whole time, but I knew he had seen me.

Once the dinner was over, I walked through the keep with Lyra, who was quieter than usual. After a few moments of silence she said, “Report?”

“Lord Luger means what he says, obviously, and despite what he says he feels nothing. We could all be killed tomorrow and he wouldn’t care, same with the old woman. Lord Karn couldn’t hate us more. And he recognised me.” Panic began to fill me as I said these words, and I thought back to all the stories I had heard from the older servants.

Lyra, seeing my reaction said, “Don’t worry yourself, dear. He wouldn’t touch you knowing you’re mine. Regardless, you’ll need to keep your wits about you when you’re alone in this keep. Servants are easy to bribe.”

“What will happen to my mother if they don’t get help?”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” Lyra said, sending a chill down my spine.

That night, I was having my usual lesson with Lyra in the reading room when I asked, “Is it possible to change someone’s ways?”

She raised her eyebrow. “It is difficult. You can induce emotions in someone. But it is not easy. It’s what I did to Karn earlier, did you notice? I felt very angry and I merely projected it to him, which he responded to. But that is very different from controlling his response. Truly controlling someone takes a lot of skill and a lot of energy, which is far beyond you, and almost beyond me. ” She then raised her hand to silence my response as a couple of pages walked past.

I thought about what she had said as we walked. People projected things all the time, but with their facial expressions, tone of voice and behaviour, not with magic. When we reached Lyra’s wing of the building and entered the reading room, I asked, “How is it done?”

Lyra took a moment to gather her thoughts. “What does it feel like when you read someone?”

This gave me pause. How does one describe a meadow in full bloom to a blind man? How can such things be put into words? “It feels like I’m sensing a shape around you. And that shape tells me what you are feeling.”

“Yes. It’s almost like a footprint on the essence that flows through all things. We call this Aesr. It’s what you sense around me, and it’s what you’re using to read people like a book. You merely have to mould it. Sometimes that requires a hammer, other times a gently guiding hand,” Her crooked smirk told me it was much easier said than done.

Laid in bed that night, I truly realised I had abilities others lacked. I had always picked up on emotions. I felt them like a blow to the arm, or someone’s breath on my neck. It was the Aesr I was sensing. Lyra’s midnight lessons were taking a toll on me, so with these thoughts I was lulled into a deep sleep.

I felt a sensation on my shoulder, but it was some time before I noticed. Eventually, I realised it was a hand. I blearily opened my eyes. The room was dark.

“Lyra?” No answer. I had grown accustomed to Lyra’s nightly intrusions, and my body had begun to expect it, nevertheless I did not have all my wits about me as my eyes searched for her. It was then I saw the black shape in front of me, almost invisible against the darkness of the room. I heard the rustle of curtains being drawn back and the faint glow of the moon lit the room softly. A man stood over me with a wolfish grin on his face. He had red hair.

“Hello, Nadya. It’s nice to formally meet you. I am ever so pleased.” Karn’s eyes were wide, almost as if he were hungry. I looked behind him and saw two men, so tall their faces were mostly hidden in shadow, standing by the door and window.

“I should have known you would be Lyricia’s little runt. Always poking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Once your good friend Gentry was made aware of your misgivings, he was more than happy to help set up a meeting. Your Lady will not be coming I’m afraid, she’s feeling a little sick. Something in the food, perhaps. Or the wine.”

The deep shadows cast across his face made him look manic. I was too shocked to be scared. I merely watched in clarity as he stepped forward, gripped my neck and squeezed. I instinctively raised my hands and pulled at his wrist with my hands, a futile effort. My chest began burning with an awful need for air and my neck hurt from the pressure of Karn’s hand, monstrous compared to my sliver of a body. I needed to do something, or in seconds I would pass out and certainly be killed. He already killed Lyra, so I wouldn’t be saved by anybody but myself. Dark spots began dancing on the edges of my vision, and I stopped struggling.

In a desperate last attempt, I used the only thing I could. I closed my eyes and wrapped my awareness around him. I was immediately pelted by the white hot fury searing off him and I almost lost control completely. I contained myself, hard and small as a nut, and I pushed against that terrifying storm. The anger threatened to seep its way into my mind, but I resisted, stubborn as steel. I hammered my own Aesr on his then pushed and pushed for my life. Some primal part of my brain was in control, breathing impossible strength into me while I could only think of survival. The dark spots had grown and now dominated my vision. I could feel my strength and focus begin to wane. I gave one last fleeting push before I was dead to the world.

###

I woke up in unfamiliar surroundings, my body aching all over. I felt like I had fallen off a cliff. Someone came over to me and said I had been mugged and had slipped into a coma. I was in the medical ward, and had been there for almost two weeks. Someone had been sent to tell Lady Jayne I had woken up.

“She’s alive?” I croaked. My throat was unbelievably dry.

The medic gave me a confused look. “Alive? Of course she is. You must still be confused. It takes a while for the brain to wake up after a coma. I’ll get food and water sent to you, you need to eat a good meal.”

Trying to eat made me realise how hurt I was. The spoon felt heavy in my hands, and I struggled to lift it as I ladled the stew into my mouth. As I chewed, the effort made my jaw ache, despite the meat of the stew being softened by the broth. When I swallowed, bulges of pain seared through my neck. Once I finished my meal I lay down, exhausted. I closed my eyes and slipped into a deep sleep.

When I awoke again, another meal was sat beside me, and Lyra was sat on a chair looking over me. She smiled when she saw me.

“It’s good to see you awake. How do you feel?”

“Awful.”

“I’m not surprised.” She gave me a sympathetic look and squeezed my hand.

We sat for a few moments in a comfortable silence as I began eating my meal.

“I thought you were dead,” I said.

“Only asleep. Someone slipped a sedative into my drink.”

I remembered Karn’s words, and the events flooded back. Karn had tried to kill me, and with help from Gentry, nearly succeeded. “It was Gentry.”

Lyra lifted her brow. “Ah. I suspected it was him. That will be the last time he will be able to do that.”

“You’ll kill him?”

“I’ll make him wish I did.”

“And Karn?”

She looked at me, “Of course, you don’t know. Lord Karn has had a total perspective shift, it seems. He is now the most staunch advocate for the refugees. He’s suggesting we build a brand new settlement for them. Even plans on giving his own coin to start the project. The camp is being moved to Elvore, near his father’s House.”

I took it all in and mulled over my food. I thought of my mother, and wondered if she was okay. My actions had simultaneously saved her life and took her away from me. She was relatively safe now, at least.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Lyra said.

“I think so.”

Lyra looked at me with either fear, awe, or pride. I did not know which.

END