The Fish

I was probably about 12 years old when I first got my hands on a copy of Seventeen magazine. For me, it opened up my eyes to a whole new world -- a world I wasn't supposed to be a part of. It talked about boys my parents said I wasn't old enough to date, fashion my school dress code prohibited, and horoscopes and zodiac signs my religion cautioned against me believing. So for an angsty pre-teen, it represented a perfect mix of rebellion and curiosity.

I had been taught that it was wrong to believe in zodiac signs and horoscopes-- but I figured just reading them wouldn't hurt. After all, mythology is taught in schools and this seemed pretty similar to that. I learned that I was a Pisces. The fish.

January 1995: ‘Pisces probably just wants to run off to Paris with just an easel and a guitar, but she’s got enough sense to know she has to finish school first.’ (Seventeen, January 1995).

Um, yeah! I remember thinking. This was me! Always a dreamer, but too scared to ever commit.

As time went on, I researched zodiac signs even more. Not just from my magazine, but I discovered that the local newspaper had a section as well. Many magazines did. Sometimes they were funny, sometimes they rang true. It wasn't really the horoscopes I liked, but rather the descriptions that seemed to match who I was! It was like someone was watching me, taking note of my traits, and publishing them into a few sentences stuffed between the classified ads and real estate. I wondered if other people were reading these as well. I wondered if my teachers or parents secretly read these too. I pictured them glancing between me and the Pisces paragraph, and nodding their head in affirmation. Yep, that's her! I memorized friends' birth dates when I learned them and would keep them stored away in my memory until I had time to look up their sign and compare their descriptions to them. I kept the information filed away, and would keep it in the back of my head when dealing with certain friends.

Oh, Kim is an Aries, no wonder she is so agitated today!

Callie is a Capricorn -- she is going to be my best bet for a science fair partner!

I need help interviewing people for a project. Rachel is a Leo, this will be a breeze for her!

My predictions didn't always ring true right off the bat, but with some encouragement and pep talking my friends pretty much met the expectations their Zodiac signs had set for me.

Of course, I still didn't believe in them. How could they hold any merit? I have a brother with the same birthday as me and we couldn't be more different. Clearly, these were made up to make money or for entertainment value. I would sit around with friends and read their horoscopes aloud and mock them. "Who believes this stuff?" I'd roar.

Except, in my case, the descriptions fit me.

Empathetic. Wild. Romantic. Imaginative. Sensitive. Creative.

Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

Yes, it fit me. To a tee. But I didn't believe in it.

I learned that Pisces are friendly and often able to mix well with other people. My time in the restaurant industry would attest to this being true. I learned that they are selfless and willing to help other people and have a high amount of empathy. My work as a health care professional and the unpaid therapist of most of my friends would attest to this. I learned that Pisces are intuitive -- for sure! This explained so much as I have always felt like I could sense things that were going to happen or read a situation well.

I learned also that Pisces can have a hard time letting go of the past -- especially past hurts. I reflected on grudges that I had held and thought this might explain that. I learned that they could be naive as well. This made me giggle thinking back to when my roommates had dubbed me Rose from The Golden Girls. I found out that Pisces did not like criticism either. Well who does?

Still, it just seemed like it couldn't be true.

Then I was perusing me.com and found myself nodding and laughing, "Pisces will always be skeptical until you give them some type of proof."

Ah, ha! That's why I don't believe in this!