Stars Don't Lie

A couple weeks ago, I found myself in a voice call with friends, which wasn’t weird. It’s the only form of socializing I do nowadays. Pulling on my hot pink headset is like slipping into a nice pair of jeans when I want to feel “cute.”

Anyway, our conversation had carried to many different topics, but my friend Chase brought up astrological signs. This was no surprise because he loves talking horoscopes. He realized he didn’t know a couple of our birthdays, so he took the opportunity to try to guess our zodiac signs simply based on our personalities. For everyone else, it took a couple tries, but he eventually got the right one. Eventually, the spotlight was on me.

Chase stared at his camera for a couple of seconds, and I felt him looking directly at me and into my soul. “You, Tori–” He said, “Are a Sagittarius.”

Of course, his first guess had to be the right one.

See, I’m not a huge fan of astrology. I think the aesthetic is amazing, and it’s fun to associate every person with a name and a symbol. But I don’t know what any of it means, and I certainly don’t believe it can perfectly describe a person’s personality. So when Chase nailed it on his first go, I was confused.

Am… Am I a classic Sagittarius? Is there something to all of these symbols? My curiosity fueled a little bit of research.

First, I learned Sagittarius is a fire month. Did I know the zodiacs also had elements tied to their signs? Nope. Fire months are all about energy: they love to be active and are great leadership material. Considering I quiver whenever any attention is directed towards me and I had a coffee addiction all throughout college, I wasn’t feeling the connection I was hoping for Sagittarius. But, I couldn’t walk away from the topic, so I continued on!

At one point, my research called me “mutable,” which I’m sorry, that was all COVID’s fault. I think everyone changed in the past year, and probably we all changed to exactly the same person. However, in this context, it means I’m able to be flexible enough to connect people and ideas that would never usually intertwine based on my own personal interests. Instantly, I recalled my 3rd grade self adding M&Ms to my peanut butter sandwich because I liked the combination of flavors.

And the kids laughed at my genius! I was clearly ahead of them, and not the weird kid who ate weird stuff...

Turns out, the zodiac symbol itself means something. Sagittarius is a centaur, which is cool. Always thought horse people were one of the coolest people-animal hybrids around. Apparently, they symbolize optimism and ambition, which are two things I wouldn't call myself on most days.

I believe I try to be as optimistic as anyone else, but I am also a lifetime subscriber of the sad and dark days where ice cream is dinner and you don't leave your room for four days.

Ambitious, well... I guess? It's easy to dream big, especially with a strong imagination, but taking steps towards that dream goal is where I falter. I tend to sit on my horse butt all day and just think about the "what ifs." I tend to have trouble committing to a plan or an idea, which makes it hard to move forward. It's probably my least favorite trait about myself.

Sagittarians are funny - that one sat with me for a minute. That's not a shock to me because it is well known amongst my friends. I am very funny. I am always the friend cracking jokes and trying to get everyone to smile and laugh. I can be serious and comforting when needed, but if you need a minute to forget about the world, Tori's your girl.

But I don't do it because I want people to laugh. I don't do it because I want to be considered funny. To me, laughter is my coping mechanism from years of anxiety and depression. On days where I couldn't see beyond the storm surrounding my head, I would search for a funny video to catch a little break in the clouds.

Because I didn't have many people who would do that for me.

So, I vowed to be that break for people. To give people the opportunity to feel something other than emptiness. Learning that this trait could possibly stem from simply who I am rather than what I've gone through makes me reconsider everything about me. I used to believe that if my life had gone a different way, I would be a different person. I would have different goals, and I would have different dreams.

But maybe I was always meant to be this person.

One way or another, my path was always set from the moment I was born, just because of when it happened. December 13, 1997. A little over 23 years ago.

Maybe there is something to this astrology thing. Maybe it does mean something. Maybe stars don't lie.