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Shake Them Off!

A totally plausible rant

By Lana V LynxPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
Image by DALL-E

There's 8.5 billion of them now. Just a mere second ago (a century by their measure) there was 2 billion of them, and now it's 8.5. Some of their brightest minds think they will peak out at 10 billion and start decreasing in numbers. I know better.

Their Industrial Revolution brought them a lot of comfort but a lot of grief for me and smaller creatures: hundreds and thousands of species disappear every year, whole forests are covered in soot from their burning of oil and gas and there's a huge garbage patch in the Pacific that they have no idea how to manage.

They create all sorts of catastrophes by themselves: pollution, chemical spills, massive wildfires they start by accident, land erosion resulting into deserts, diverting rivers for their agriculture that results in wastelands, and even disasters caused by nuclear - the kind of technology they developed like a big new shining toy they cannot fully control.

Nothing seems to be getting at them: earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods and tsunamis only affect some of them and most of the times they rebuild quickly, pushing the debris into the ocean or into what they call "landfills." To "manage" the landfills, they either burn the waste or bury it under a thick layer of cement, creating what looks like clogged pores on their faces, but on a much larger scale.

They now live longer, too. Even a second ago their average lifespan was about 45-50 years, and now they are pushing to 100. It's not only because they have much more comfortable and less labor-intensive life but also because their health care is getting better. They are innovative in finding ways to prolong their lifespan and even hope to achieve immortality within a second. That will be a complete disaster, if they never die.

They think they are the smartest creatures that ever existed. Dolphins and whales would disagree but who'd listen to them? They call animals that "invade" their spaces, making their life uncomfortable and living off their resources, "parasites." What they don't realize is that they are the biggest parasitic species on the body they call "their only home."

On top of all, they continue killing each other in wars. Sometimes these wars involve just the two tribes that lived side by side for centuries and then suddenly started claiming each other's lands or resources. But often the conflict can go beyond just the two tribes and involve many, including within one geographic region. They call them "civil wars" like there's anything civil about that type of infighting. The worst are the large scale mass killings they call "world wars" that claim millions of lives. But then again, what's millions when there are billions of them now?

If only they learned to live in peace. Living life is not a zero-sum game, they don't have to take something away from someone to live a good life. In fact, they make a lot more progress when they cooperate, collaborate and share resources and take care of those who can't take care of themselves. You'd think they'd learn that lesson from their entire short history and endless wars. And yet, it is what they refer to as the 21st century now, and they are still warring in different lands, killing each other in hundreds of thousands. Escalating to de-escalate, as the most belligerent of them describe it.

I am so tired of their shenanigans.

That was The Earth's last monologue before the most recent extinction event of 2028. The Earth tilted just by a mere 2 degree angle, dramatically changing the climate patterns. Only 500 million humans survived.

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About the Creator

Lana V Lynx

Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist

@lanalynx.bsky.social

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (9)

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  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    I guess the earth WOULD like to shake us off. We're worse than fleas.

  • I wonder sometimes if this will be our fate, and if 500 million is a hopeful number instead of a realistic number. I worry sometimes that this will be the only way for people to learn... and even then I'm not certain they will truly learn.

  • Hannah Mooreabout a year ago

    We are intent on destroying ourselves, arent we.

  • Omgggg please make this happen, pleaseeeee. Only extinction can save the earth. Extinction of the stupidest creatures on earth, the humans!

  • Great end of days piece

  • Rachel Deemingabout a year ago

    I read this as a cry for help. We can all make a difference even if it's small and ultimately, we'll be helping ourselves!

  • Jay Kantorabout a year ago

    Lk - As I'm certain you are within your profession. I'm constantly ask within mine; 'What to do...?' I'm in my golden years...but, just fret for the next generations...! Please let me be my silly self for just a moment: This title reminded me when in hi-school gym class I broke my finger catching a football. Seriously hanging down my coach said, Quote: "Just Shake it off and get back in there." - My Respect - j.in.l.a.

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a year ago

    The title is very appropriate for the content. Almost humorous but the reality is nothing to laugh at. We need to do much much better as a species. You said it best with this bit: -In fact, they make a lot more progress when they cooperate, collaborate and share resources and take care of those who can't take care of themselves-. A very eye-opening read, Lana. Thank you!

  • Michelle Liew Tsui-Linabout a year ago

    Whoa. A great message that the world needs to hear right now, Lana. I'm as worried as you.

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