Shadow Walker

I wish this was a work of fiction but that which my strange senses pick up have always been constant and repeatable. My unique senses don’t change with my imagination or how I feel. I can’t turn these senses off and on so that I can enjoy the pleasant parts and let go of the rest. No. The blessings and the curses all come wrapped together in the darkest wrapping paper. I have an ability. A strange one as mysterious as the dark that ignites it. An old sense that humans lost use for long ago. I am living proof that stories of tree nymphs and the fairy folk don’t spawn from the human imagination but rather an ancient way of seeing with eyes that are no longer accessible. I am the exception. In the night I can see them all as clear as day. Spirits. The kinds attached to tree branches and plant roots and even more strangely the spirits of various inanimate objects.

Some of these beings often attached to sacred plant roots and tree branches with the leaves attached are kind and loving while others often rooted into some paintings, ceramic statues, plastic figurines and porcelain dolls are not. Sure, it sounds simple enough, but this uncommon knowledge is quite complex.

When the lights go out an expansion of shadows occurs. Unseen shadow aspects of life-filled inanimate objects grow large and strong yet remain out of the direct conscious sense perception of everyday human beings. Psychics are a step or two more receptive to spiritual energies than the oblivious norm. But even they who are higher up on the human spiritual sensitivity spectrum can’t seem to pick up the sight or scent of these diverse beings of dark. Light or dark doesn’t affect the insights of psychics as their senses are composed of other less subtle spiritual constituents.

I was built different having more senses in my shadow than in my emotional, mental, intuitive or light body. I can sense more in the dark with my eyes closed than in the light with my eyes open. This includes everything around me within a certain special radius. Mice or even spiders crawling around the basement can be sensed in darkness. But the objects mentioned before, the statues, dolls, plants, etc. are what I sense the clearest. The hidden life in them moves about making various moves based on the nature of their make-up. Usually the shadow body of the porcelain or plastic dolls go to those sleeping to affect their dreams in a bad way in order to feed on intense emotion. These beings are often the worst, bringing out the worst characteristics in the humans that owned them.

Many folks with irrational emotional flares are reacting to the indirect influence of these beings which can cause depression and general fatigue due to their constant feeding on human chi and emotional bodies. They can't feed on me. If something feels bad to me as I lay in the dark, I remove it from my home. I just can't tolerate the presence of any of the negative shadow bodies to be in my proximity. People used to think I was making it all up until they tested me. They would take objects that I’d banished from the home for containing bad spirits and bring them back into the house without me knowing. As soon as night would fall, I would feel them, the spirits of bad objects, in my awareness moving through the darkness. I could easily spot their hiding places and remove their inanimate bodies from the house once more. Actions like these would earn believers quickly. They’d always say, “Maybe you aren’t crazy!”

Of course I wasn’t crazy. I didn’t ask for this strange life. In the beginning I tried to ignore the truth of my experience, as any person raised in a modern society would. As a lover of art it was extremely annoying for me to fall in love with a painting, or statue or some other object just to buy it, take it all the way home, turn off the lights, feel it’s energy in the dark and realize that it would be impossible to co-exist in a home together. On the other hand it was a complete blessing when I’d turn off the lights to find an angel or being of complete peace attached to something I’d brought home. These objects were the keepers.

The worst thing about having this ability was the loneliness. With such a rare ability I found it hard to find people that could relate. One day I decided to go online and search for others like me: Shadow Walkers- Those who are receivers, receptacles for the energies of shadow.

I first came across a bunch of people with exceptionally large emotional fields known as “Sensitives.” These folk were exceptionally talented at picking up on the raw emotions of others and using those powers of perception to absorb emotional negativity and bring peace. In the most extreme cases they refused to leave their houses in fear of the overstimulation that could result from running into large groups of people.

There were also the Mentalists that had amazing powers of the mind. Some of them could focus so well that they could make parts of their body extremely hot or cold. Some could speed up the healing of minor injuries through focus and discipline, while others claimed they could read private human thoughts of those passing by. Some of them made good money as sales people because of their ability to shoot strong thought forms deep into the hearts of others. The person being sold would mistakenly think that the new rooted thought form was their own unique thought and buy whatever the mentalist was selling.

The Astral Travelers and the Lucid Dreamers weren’t hard to find. They had tales for days about how to leave the body and travel to distant realms. One guy even claimed that he could stuff his physical body into his astral body and teleport. Now that would be something. This group also had the most liars in it. I’d astral traveled a lot in my early 20’s and a bunch of these folks didn’t have stories that matched up to a true astral travel experience. Many of them were working with strong visualization techniques which are dimensions of the vast mental realm, but not of Astral Projection.

It was easy to find people claiming to be Magicians of one type or another. This was one of the more arrogant groups. They usually believed that the power of intent was Lord. They’d say if you don’t have this or that ingredient, just intend and magic will happen. They believed that intent was the end all be all. As if pancakes could be made with sand if you’d just allow yourself to use the power of intent to make those pancakes. I knew this was not completely false. The powers of imagination are a bridge to magic but with any tool one must know its limitations. If you don’t know the limitations of a thing it will limit you.

As I continued to search the web, I was starting to see even more of the “power of intent” folks. It was all over the web. Obviously the most popular magic. Probably because anyone could do it along with the fact that “intent magic” was accountability free. A white man could go and pick up a Native American Headdress from a costume shop and intend for himself to be some sort of Medicine Man Indian Chief. He could do this and begin practicing some created thing without ever meeting a Native or going through the sacrifices that come with initiation or service to a community. Intent magic was like magically printing money from a machine and being able to spend that money, buying things you never earned.

Intent has its strengths of course. Especially in the realm of affirmation. If you intend for your mood to be good, it can change. But if you aren’t getting any sleep, are magnesium deficient, not living in your purpose and are spiritually ill, intent can’t make up for those things that require specific action. Intent is where the attention is going. Some things change drastically when they are looked at. But that’s all the power of intention is.

I’d met some pretty nasty beings in the realms of the shadows and the power of pure Intent never destroyed or pushed the spirits away. The best way to be rid of them was to physically move the object they were attached to away from the home. But simply intending for the malevolent dolls or any other haunted object to change its nature was about as effective as intending for kitchen to clean itself! It was obvious to me that the power of Intent, although it had big power in the realm of thought, had no big strength in the realm of shadow. Things were what they were in that dark place despite imagination or intent. I could love something dearly or intend it to be good and even place it upon a holy altar but when the lights went out… the truth always came out with it. One can hide from light in darkness but there is no hiding from that which sees in the dark. The dark is the universal hiding place and everyone who can see clearly in dark can see everyone else in it for who they are. In the darkness things were never what they intended them to be. The power of intent is for the mental plane, which works in the opposite way. The mental sphere is open to every suggestion. Even the intuition can be affected somewhat by the intent of the user. The light loves to be altered. That’s the difference of light and dark.

The “Intuitives”, another group, believed that intuition was the pinnacle of human sensory tools. These types had huge intuitive tongues that they would slide over everything in their paths. Whatever tasted yummy to their intuitive tongues was usually proof enough that a thing was holy or good for the individual. They had no knowledge of another shadow dimension, nor the developed shadow senses to see how that intuitive tongue could also be used as a tool for deception. I think of it like a delicious lollipop. Just because a lollipop is sweet doesn’t mean your body is nourished or excited about taking it in. The intuitive sweet tooth was not enough by itself to determine the full spectrum of needs for a person. The sweetness brought in could have a very different effect in the darkness. Intuitives would usually buy into fully trusting the sweet intuitive chatter all beings. Even those with ulterior motives.

Intuitive People are experts in speaking on the frequency of what I call Intuitive chatter. If they see a tree they want to connect with, they hear what the tree says to their intuitive ear. But they can’t hear what the tree or any plant or object is saying to their ear of shadow. Intuitive chatter, a language of light is only one of the unseen languages.

Also Intuitive chatter is a language that is not free of deception. For example, people that speak English lie in English. Beings that talk to the intuition can lie to the intuition of the listener. This is a problem because relationships must be strengthened and cultivated on all planes. There should be no instant trust just because a light being of some sort is polite. Trust develops over time through good patterns. That’s why we work with the spirits that served our ancestors. Spirits that have loved our DNA through the ages.

Intuitive interactions, as awesome as they are, must also be confirmed through personal experience. I’d learned that many beings that can speak this intuitive language of light could be just as misleading as any of the others. Each realm was more like a witness giving a testimony. A judge, for example would not only listen to one witness. That’s why we have ears, eyes, nose, mouth and touch in the same way that we have dreams, emotions, mind, intuition, various “coincidences” and the realm of shadow to piece together a more complete truth. Each language or sense, or situation is a window to a larger, truer reality. I’d talk to some of these intuitives, telling them how certain objects had spoken sweetly to me in the day, only to reveal an evil side in the dark. I’d tell them that no one realm of the senses is superior to the others. The supernatural senses we were gifted could be greater in conjunction with humility so that we could access faith in the powers one another. It was faith that would unify all of us seers and mystics and add to our strengths as we brought our sensory observations together to get a wider picture of the hidden world around us.

I’ve met quite a few talented intuitives in this realm. The experts and geniuses in this field of intuition were pet psychics, plant talkers, channelers, and sometimes mediums, the kinds that are good at speaking to dead relatives. I called the intuition the “language of light” to differentiate between this way of speaking which uses the human light body, and the method I tuned into that was only possible through being tuned into darkness and the realm of shadow.

Searching online I came across the Energy Healers who were always interesting with their sacred mantras and symbols that gave their hands the ability warm up and remove the pain from others. As a Reiki practitioner, I always wondered if there was a symbol that could also tune people into the realm of shadow. Of course I would be hesitant to do it if I ever found that secret because of the life change would be irreversibly life altering. But the thought of finding that symbol, just to have a companion was tempting dream.

The ridiculously diverse groups that called themselves Witches were all over the web and many worked with at least a few tools of the shadow realm such as herbs, bones, dolls, mirrors, etc. But they did this based upon spell books and faith, not because they knew what the shadow realm felt like. None of the groups I found could accurately describe the realm of shadow that I was attuned to. Many of the witches that thought they were sensing the shadow were still dealing with the intuition even when working in the darkness. You can’t see with a mind you don’t have. If you don’t have the shadow sense opened, you can’t perceive the realm of shadow, not directly.

I was looking for the people that had to remove specific dolls and statues and other objects from their homes when the lights went out. The people that could feel the pain in their lower left abdomen when the demons were around. People who could merge so well with darkness that they could sense every living shadow it touched? I needed to brainstorm with someone that could understand. I couldn’t be the only one.

I ran into a woman online that day who’d put out an ad for haunted dolls.

“If you have had any creepy experiences with dolls or statues, send them my way. They are my children and I love them. I make a home for them.”

I laughed. I wondered if this woman could sense the realm of shadow at all. There were many humans attracted to what appeared to be fear inducing or creepy items but only because of aesthetics and not because they possessed any real sensitivity to the dark forces. Some people are just intuitively drawn to what they think is creepy but I refused to believe that a human with my sensitivities would be drawn to them. Either way, I’m sure the haunted creepy dolls were thankful to her. I couldn’t house them. Their love of fear and the enormous amounts of energy I could sense them sucking from humans was a huge turn off for me.

For some reason nature tuned me into a supernatural sense that was obviously rare. As lonely as it was, I guess I could live with that. As I grew into the mysteries of this realm I’d be able to bring a different light to the mystics in my circles. The mystics who had faith in the other seers around them could learn a bunch from me. I’d never been the type of person to put one healer or medium over the next. I believed that they were all beautiful sharing various parts of an esoteric rainbow. I’d grown out of the notion that I would end up being some sort of all-knowing Buddha type person long ago. Instead I believed that we all had to be faithful in each other and develop a keen recognition for talent.

The heart of the Sensitive, the mind of the Mentalist, the vision of the Intuitive, The Hand of the Energy Worker and the anchored perspective of the Shadow Walker in my humble opinion were all necessary pieces of the whole.

My one worry was that I would always be the only one.

Alone in this way.

In this shadowy plane.

Just one lonely soul In the Dark.