Schism, Part III

Part I

Part II

I step through into…

...nothing.

I'd expected darkness, or a drop, or anything but the pure, bright white that surrounds me. I squint as I try to process the endless space that is just light as far as I can see. I look down at my feet, and the ground feels solid even though I don't understand what I'm standing on. I'm not floating, but I'm also not not floating.

My head spins.

“Hello, child,” the voice is everywhere. It's neither male nor female, and I can feel it more than I can hear it.

“Hello?” I respond. I sound so small.

“Why have you come here?” The voice is kind and curious, no hint of malice.

“I have questions,” I say before I've fully formulated any questions.

“Ask.”

“Who are you?”

“We've been studying you, waiting to see what you'll do next.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“Fear.”

The light around me shifts, brightness dissolving into horrors. I'm surrounded by scenes of war, bombs dropping, guns and weapons ripping soft flesh. People starving in the streets and animals rotting in the scorching sun. Faces contorted by rage giving way to sobs of despair. I can barely hear it when the voice speaks again, but it reverberates in my bones.

“Earth had all the resources you could ever need, but a select few squandered them. They polluted the oceans and air and created an imbalance. They invested in technology to kill–all out of greed and grasping and fear. We intervened when we saw the nuclear bombs begin to drop. We saved what pieces we could, and we put everything that remained in stasis. We could not preserve everything–much of your world is gone forever. We have your history, but we could not return your memories.”

“I…” my face is wet and my voice comes out in a croak, “Why did you save us?”

“We were already watching you. The human race is fascinating–you devoted yourselves to killing, yet you found ways to live in the harshest of conditions. We want to see what you can do with almost nothing.”

“But what can you possibly learn from us?”

“Survival,” the horrors thankfully dissolve into the stark white space I'd started in, “Your capacity for destruction is matched only by your tenacity.”

“But…why would you need us?”

“We destroyed our own world. Just like you, years of greed and fighting devastated our land. It became...unsustainable. The few of us who were left set out to find a new planet. We were trying to determine if we could rebuild our society alongside yours. When we saw what you were doing with your world, we considered overtaking it. We were too late.”

“What have you learned from us so far?”

“When you let fear control your actions, you destroy everything around you. When you care for each other, you can build incredible things. Even you, Grey."

I shiver when they mention my name.

"With nothing except a squeaky wagon, you deliver resources to those who are too afraid to leave the safety of their shelters.”

“I'm just doing what I can,” I say with a shrug.

“You pretend not to care because you think it makes you safe. It doesn't.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have always done this.”

How do they know?

“We know everything about you.”

I hadn't said it out loud...

“Do you know what I was like before, who I was when things were...normal?”

“Yes.”

My heart beats faster, “Did I have a family? Was I a parent?”

“No.”

It's a punch to the gut.

“Your father left when you were young. Your mother tried her best, but she was emotionally unavailable. You used these things as an excuse to push everyone away.”

So, I was always alone.

“You have never been alone.”

“What?”

“You have always had people who care for you, even when you don't let them. Even now, at the end of the world, you push people away while you help them.”

“It doesn't matter now,” I say, gesturing at the empty space.

“Of course it matters. You humans are not designed to be solitary creatures. Maybe when you learn that, our two peoples can come together to build something new.”

“But…I can't go back...”

“We can send you back. You will have no memory of this place, and you will not come here again,” it was a fact, not a threat.

“But if I don't remember, how can I do things differently?” My chest tightens.

“That is up to you. Are you ready?”

I search my mind. I'm sure I still have a million questions, but I can't think of a single one.

“I'm ready.”

Everything goes black.

…

I'm staring into the void again. No wonder people think I'm strange. How long have I been here at the end of the street? Why did I come here? It could have been minutes or hours.

I pick up the handle of my wagon and turn it around with a plaintive squeak. I let my feet carry me while my mind wanders. I don't know where I'm going. I know I'm forgetting something important, but what's new?

…

“You're back!” Ellie smiles, a question in her eyes.

“I …” I shuffle forward and put my arms around her, earning a surprised laugh from her. The motion is embarrassingly unfamiliar to me, and I'm relieved when I feel her return the hug.

“Are you here to stay?”

I can't speak, but I nod, trusting that she'll understand. My tears soak her shoulder.

“Good. I'm glad you're back, Grey.”

“Me, too,” I manage to whisper.

She leads me inside and closes the door behind me.