Not All Heroes Wear Capes

As a young girl I often would tag along with my Dad for work. Some days we would find ourselves up on scaffolding sitting on 2 by 4’s while others we may have spent mowing and shoveling snow. Dad started his own business and was kept very busy, we did most our talking while we worked and when we didn’t work we would sing Bruce Springsteen songs riding to the next job. I met a lot of incredible people and learned various skills that would stay with me forever. When it came to working with my hands I knew more than most by the age of 14 but when it came to working with my heart, I knew very little. Many bridges I could’ve probably figured out how to build based of knowledge acquired, I set flame to with regard for others that I lacked. I know, I know, that’s too abstract and too wordy. Let me break it down. One of my most cherished relationships as a child was with a woman who helped shape me as not only a person, and worker but also as a woman. I loved working at her property the very most. It’s picturesque landscape and the warm welcome crossing the doors threshold were two priceless things. The best of it though, was the woman who resided there. She is someone who I can easily say was a hero of mine. From the day she put a Spongebob car seat cover in her van for me, till the day she helped me realize ladies aren’t supposed to lick their knives, to the day she taught me a trick to remember that “axilla” meant armpit in medical terms and how to remember it when I was getting my CNA license. Not only was she fascinating for all the ways that she expressed her caring nature, and love for dogs and earth but also she was fascinating because she was so full of varying wisdom. She could teach you how to clean a wood floors, best product to use and why, how to make a bed with soldiers corners, fold a fitted sheet, extend the life of batteries, how to speak well, fold clothes properly, give a good laugh, how to make the perfect chicken and rice and was always good for a hug. There was not much that she didn’t have a cure for. I took 100,000 memorable moments too lightly. Becoming a woman, blurring all of my innocent assets with onset of the infatuation with love and possessions, battling to digest new realizations, I cost myself my relationship with my hero. While I was busy trying to numb the pains of my late adolescence being a nauseating landslide, and trying to be something I never would be, I lied, stole and mistreated people, including myself. I lost myself in pain I couldn’t process and vanity, and that I would forever regret. Some people in life you meet, you love, you create so many memories with…and it doesn’t happen twice. If you’re young and you’re reading this, listen to me when I say, If you have someone who is just a friend but willingly serves as so much more than that and accepts you for you, with love and care, don’t waste that on anything. Trust me, nothing you think you want or need will ever mean more to you than those who you always “really had”. I took someone who taught, loved and inspired me and returned the favor by shattering their trust and hopes for me so far that they no longer are even interested in being there to see what their efforts truly amounted to. A few bad years cost me 15 before it and all the rest after, with my hero, in some sense or other. Prioritize morals of yourself over love, infatuation, insecurity, fear, what you think you should come from, hurt and vanity. Do yourself a favor and just have that strength of mind and heart when you get the choice. Do what feels “right” to you in your heart, not be led by anything short of that. An if it’s too late for you and someone else too, try to say sorry and then go on to do better for yourself and anyone else you meet. Learn from others mistakes, read, learn, absorb, feel the regret that time teaches to some and don’t be another example. Do better for yourself, do better than that for the person who’s a hero to you. I wish that I read or knew something similar, and still had that person in my life. Made those right choices, the first time. My advice is don’t take lightly what you have, because a few tremendous mistakes could change that to something you “had”. Don’t disappoint the future you, or the ones who helped you get to today. Absolutely nothing is worth that. To the Crazy Dog Lady who was a hero to me, you will always be and while I find much regret in my heart also now, it sits beside a million wonderful memories, watching movies, sharing meals, tricks, life tips, and hugs and that, I thank you for. I hope although I let you down quite a bit, that you still carry in you - more of me than dipping french fries in your mash potatoes and sadness. I love you, I thank you and I hope this should ever find you one day but whether it does or does not, that’s my story for today folks! Thanks for reading!