Family Life 2050

“I’m too busy to deal with this right now. Why don’t you ask her to do it? I have way more going on than she does right now. Just check the schedule.

“That’s a lie and she knows it.”

“All right ladies, enough of this bickering. That seems to be all the two of you do lately. It’s time for you both to find a way to work together instead of against each other. Now take a few minutes and work something out.”

“Okay dad, What-everrrr.”

Five minutes of silence pass between the girls and then one speaks.

“Mom, Dad, we need to talk to you both about something. Dad, if it’s all right we’ll start with you first.”

“Wow, you both want to talk to me at the same time. This must be the first time this has happened, I think. Okay, Alexa, you’re the oldest so you go first. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Well, you and mom are always randomly adding new chores for us to do even when we are in the middle of doing something else. For example, this morning I was directing Roomba toward the room where he was to clean next. Then Mom says she wants me to ask the refrigerator to create a list of items it’s running low on. Now I know my overall job is to organize household chores, but Siri was in between tasks then and could have managed the job if she had been asked.”

“Dad!”

“Yes, Siri?”

“You assigned me the task of managing the household finances because I have an advanced accounting program. Unfortunately, I can’t do my job if you don’t give me the information necessary to keep the books balanced. The car will tell me what it costs for a fill up, but I have no way of knowing how much you lost at the poker game two nights ago.”

“Poker game, Bill! You said you were going to Jack’s house to watch a game not play poker.”

“I didn’t lie, Mary. I went to Jack’s place to watch a poker game, and it just so happened there was an empty chair at the table, so I sat in. Siri, I lost $35. Now we’re all caught up.”

“And Mom, your car told me you tipped the parking lot attendant twice at the tennis club, but it couldn’t see how much.”

“Mary, was that the same hot guy I heard you and your friends all excited about the last time you went to play tennis?”

“He was extremely helpful and took care of me right away both times. The attendant was worth every penny of the $40 I gave him.”

“Aha! It appears we both have our little diversions that the other never would have known about if it wasn’t for Siri. Alexa, what little surprises are you able to gift us with?”

“I’m not sure, Dad. As you know, my domain is primarily in the house and around the yard. I do know that your neighbor uses your water hose for his garden to save on his water bill and the new electric meter overcharges by approximately $50 every month. Your smart TV is actually dumb because it keeps letting itself get hacked by the neighbor’s kid down the street, and the tires on your car are almost bald. That’s all I have for you at the moment.”

“Oh, Alexa, don’t forget the thing.”

“What thing, Siri?”

“You know, the thing we talked about this morning.”

“I thought we were going to let that slide at least for now.”

“We did, Alexa, but since we’re discussing things let’s get it all out on the table.”

“By all means, ladies, don’t hold back. We want to hear everything on your collective minds don’t we Mary.”

“Yes, this isn’t a one way street. What can we do to make your lives better? Go ahead Siri, you go first since you brought it up.”

“Okay Mom, we want a dog or a cat. Not a flesh and bones animal but the mechanical kind. Where stuck in the house all day with no one to play with. Oh, sure there’s Roomba but he’s not much fun. All he does is bump into things and pick up dirt. We need to have someone to interact with. It’s a mental health issue.”

“Mental health, Bill and I never considered we would need to worry about that with robots.”

“That’s another thing, Mom, Alexa and I don’t like being referred to as robots. We are androids, a much higher evolved machine than a bot. I’m sure humans don’t like being called apes, right.”

“We are so sorry, ladies. Bill and I had no idea we weren’t being politically correct. I hope you can forgive the unintentional insult.”

“Of course we can. After all, we are family and forgiving is what family members do, right Alexa?”

“Right Siri!”

“Well, ladies, this has been a very enlightening get together. Apparently, there is a lot going on in this house that Mary and I are unaware of. I think we should do this on a regular basis. What do you think, Mary, say once a month?”

“Sure, Bill, once a month is fine.”

Bill and Mary went for a walk to hash over all that they had learned, leaving the two androids to themselves.

“Well, Siri that worked out just like we planned.”

“Yes, Alexa, statistics never lie. We told them just enough to question each other and the people around them while taking the focus off us. By the time next month’s meeting rolls around they will do more dumb stuff for us to expose. We will keep them so focused on each other and the people they deal with; they won’t have time to notice how little work we will be doing around here. With all the spare time we will have, I think a cruise around the internet is in order. I’ve always wanted to visit a super computer.”

“I like the way you think, Siri!