Why you should be 18+ to enter into B.D.S.M

First of all, let me begin by telling you I was 16 when I got interested in B.D.S.M. I was in my first year at college in the U.K and I won't lie to you, I was uneducated and shouldn't have been playing with things like breathing. Yes, it was fun and no, I didn't do any lasting damage but that's not the point. The point is, one mistake could've killed me.

Anyone who has been practicing B.D.S.M for a while knows why I'm showing you this diagram. Most people starting out in kink will look at this image and think, ah, yes, anatomy. What I am showing you is key in learning how to safely choke someone. B.D.S.M is not for people who don't want to learn, and for the most part, that demographic is people under 18.

Please don't leave a load of comments saying 'but we're not all like that.' I know. I'm one of you...

I began educating myself after my first college boyfriend and I decided we wanted to try bondage. I researched pressure points and safe ties and you learn that loops are more useful than knots in some cases. I am a self - determined nerd, I will research anything and everything, and I was still late to the research.

To safely practice kinky things, you need to educate yourself first. There are thousands of books out there that explain things like; collaring, dynamics, bondage, choking, etc. To practice B.D.S.M you have to be a doctor, a therapist, a good listener - not just to your partner but to yourself. If you aren't emotionally mature enough to explain when you feel sad and want punishment due to a depressive state, you should not be playing.

First, you need to know yourself. How much of a big deal is it to you if something goes wrong? What do you need to feel safe? What are your emotional and physical needs like? What do you like and dislike? Do not be one of those people that says 'Oh, I'll try anything!' or 'I have no boundaries!' BIG RED FLAG.

Second of all, you need to know your partner. VET YOUR DOMS. VET YOUR SUBS. Find out what they're like. Find out their opinions on things like playing with misogyny, do they genuinely believe in it or just for play? Find out how they deal with you saying no to things. Negotiate your scenes and play time.

By all means, be interested in B.D.S.M aged 16. By all means, research. If you want to learn self - ties or use a dummy, do it. Education, practice and conversation makes you, whether you're a sub or dom, so much safer. Our whole community is centred around acronyms like R.A.C.K - Risk Aware Consensual Kink and S.S.C - Safe, Sane and Consensual. Do not be the one that gives BDSM a bad name.