Medical Education in B.D.S.M

As I've mentioned in another article, BDSM practice should be reserved for those over 18, as this legally makes them an adult in most countries. The reason this is so important is because when things do go wrong, as they so easily can, they can be tried in court as an adult. BDSM comes with risk attached to it, no matter what element of it you're interested in experiencing. So, from my few years of research, I thought I'd share some of the medical knowledge I've picked up.

B IS FOR BONDAGE

Like Mary Poppins says, 'let's start at the beginning, a very good place to start.' Bondage generally means being tied up, restrained or otherwise restricted by something. When being tied up, DO NOT USE BELTS, there are too many parts that stick out, press in the wrong place and can cause severe damage. Use a material that is soft, moves with you and you can get two fingers between the material and yourself.

Take a look at this picture of the hand.

Within your hand are so many different elements that could potentially get trapped. Because there are so many elements, pushing them closer together can cause nerve damage, restricted bloodflow and tendon damage. Without first studying the hand, it is not sensible to try and do complicated bondage ties. Most ties actually don't use knots at all, but a complex series of loops that specifically avoid pressure points.

The same goes for the feet, and any body part really. There is a very intricate network of nerves and pressure points in your body. Tying someone up without any prior knowledge is downright dangerous and will get you hospitalised. When going into BDSM, anyone who has spent any time in the scene will tell you to research. Even the most experience dominants continually research new things because that's what sets them apart from the fake Daddy Dom's on TikTok who can do the quick belt tie.

Safety is always a kinksters Number One Priority.

If you're a newbie, I'd recommend handcuffs. They come with safety latches to allow yourself to get out, which means you're in full control of your freedom. However, do not lean on them, they will dig into pressure points. Any discomfort, change position, move, loosen them. It's a good way of becoming aware of your pain tolerance, learning what you need to pay attention to, how easily you mark etc.

D IS FOR DOMINANCE

When we talk about the medical side of BDSM, we don't just mean the physical bumps and bruises you may acquire along the way. Your mental health can, and will be, affected by the way you practice BDSM. So, it's your job to check in with yourself, and your submissive/dominant, about your mental states. If you are in the wrong headspace to be disciplining/be disciplined it's up to you to stop yourself. Fake dominants can cause severe trust issues in the future and trauma surrounding the kink community.

S IS FOR SUBMISSION

More specifically, the brat type of submissive. Brats are welcome in the BDSM community, they are a well recognised strain of submissive. HOWEVER, the brat/brat tamer dynamic works because brats want to be forced into place. They do NOT want to win. They want to forcibly lose. Fake brats/fake submissives continue to push back past their dominants boundaries. They expect to win. They will disregard rules. This causes just as much trauma and anxiety as fake dominants do.

Your mental health always comes first. Yes, sometimes spankings help, sometimes dominance/submission can help you clear that headspace. But you need to be communicating at ALL times.

First of all, your safeword should be no more than two syllables. If you're using it in an emergency you need to be able to get it out quickly. Secondly, if you know you're likely to go non - verbal or be gagged, use hand signals/gestures to stop/pause scenes. Abusive people will refuse you a safeword, ignore your safeword or tell you that they can control when you get to back out of something.

S/M FOR SADOMASOCHISM

Spanking is very fun as I'm sure anyone reading this knows. However, it's suddenly not fun AT ALL when your play partner misses. Anywhere above the convex buttocks you will hit bone. Whether that's hip, coccyx or otherwise. Pain tolerance and reactions to impact play vary person to person so it's important to level up in strength instead of just going 100% power from the get go.

There a varying implements you can use. Some people prefer thuddy pain over stingy pain and vice versa and that's why it's important to experiment. However, some people bruise easily, some people can't have this due to work or family. Discuss this before play. Remember implements can break, you might miss. This is all a part of Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Do not engage in play if you are unaware of all the risks and are prepared to deal with the outcome of that.

Kink has many, many elements to it and I strongly encourage research and self - practice before playing with a partner. Going blind into any situation is unbelievably stupid and opens you up to risks you don't need to take. Please discuss all elements of play with your partners before trying something new. Please research and decide which elements you are comfortable with. Exercise your right to bodily autonomy.

Play safe Kinksters.