What it means to be sex and kink positive

I was very sheltered growing up when it came to sex. I didn't even know what assault was. So when I was watching YouTube I kept hearing this term "sex positive". I was just learning about sex and masturbation. I was a late bloomer but that's ok we all go at our own speed. There is also of course kink positive. In this post I would like to look at everything from what it is to the downfalls. Let's get started.

So what does it mean to be sex and kink positive? It's having or promoting an open, tolerant, or progressive attitude towards sex and sexuality (or kink). A lot of people who are kink or sex positive have this mind set of to each their own. Most if not all sex and kink positive people are ok with anything that happens between 2 consenting adults as long as it's safe, sane and consensual. There is an emphasis on no judgement in the sex and kink positive movement. I think at least some if not most sex or kink positive people will be open to try new things. Sex and kink positive celebrates people's choice.

Why do we need the sex and kink positive movements? I think if done right this movement can do a lot of good. It gives people permission to enjoy sex and explore. If we approach this movement in the right way we can learn more about sex, kink and consent. We will also respect others decisions if we take this movement seriously. Our history is the main reason we need the movement. We come from a history of women being property and women being shamed for enjoying sex. Also a lot of cultures, especially religious cultures, teach waiting until the wedding night to have sex. It also is for the idea of correct sex education and continuing the education outside of school. There is always something we can learn about sex and kink.

There are some down sides to the sex or kink positive movement. While we are all aware of consent I don't think we totally understand how simple yet complex it is. All this positivity can also lead into people doing things that they aren't 100% into or things that they aren't ready to do because they think it's what they should do. Also in this positive state of mind we could be forgetting the negative or downfalls of sex. What about people with trauma? What about the people who are closeted? We need to acknowledge the negative and the hurt. I think those of us who are sex positive do forget all the negative stuff. The negativity is stuff like pressure, rape and assault. Not everyone had a great first experience. Some may not have had great sex education.

The sex positive movement also ignores those who are celibate or asexual. Some people think that if you are asexual or celibate then they're not really sex or kink positive. You can be celibate or asexual but believe in the message of the sex or kink positive movement. There may also be some stigma around being asexual or celibate. On the other side of the coin there may even be some stigma about people being more sexually active then some of their peers.

The movement also ignores the fact that some if not most non trafficked sex workers are still breaking the law in some places. I am all for safe work places for everyone. The movement does celebrate the fact that sex work is work. We should be fighting for decriminalization of sex work. We should also should be fighting to end sex trafficking.

The sex positive movement may create doubt or other negative feelings. There's people that may be waiting for marriage and they may feel like they're missing out so they may do something they aren't ready for. People may also feel like they aren't having enough sex. Others may feel like there's this pressure around orgasms, sex and fetishes. Almost like you need to have this amount of sex and orgasms then you also need to be into these kinks/fetishes.

I hope that you enjoyed this and that this makes sense. If you want to contact me my email is in my bio.