Voices

Voices

Amelia opened the door to her apartment, exhausted from another stressful day at work. She had just worked a rough shift as a customer service lead at the Comcast Customer Service Center in Beaverton, Oregon just outside of Portland. Eight hours a day, forty hours a week for the past five years had ground up the last bit of her patience into the smallest measure of a fuck that she could still manage. The entryway was dark, with only flickers of light coming from the living room down the hall. She dreaded the mess that was awaiting her. Her husband, Kyle, worked the swing shift and was at work most evenings. That left him home mostly during the day and a mess for her to come home to. She shook her head in disgust. In the five years they had been together there had been nothing that she could say that would make him change. She entered the living room to see Mark, their roommate and her boyfriend, playing Xbox on their couch.

“Hey babe,” he said, turning slightly towards her. “How was work?” Mark, Kyle and herself had been a polyamorous triad for three years. It was complicated. Kyle had brought up the idea of being poly at first but Amelia was the one who truly made it work. She and Mark had met while he was on shift at Subway. They had started off hot and heavy but lately had been lacking, looking more like friends than lovers. She flopped down next to him, snuggling up to him. Mark was a bit on the chunky side, like a big fluffy brown haired teddy bear.

“Shitty per usual,” Amelia responded, “People suck.” She nuzzled closer but Mark seemed to be more preoccupied with his game. She scooted away and laid her head down in his lap and looked up at him innocently. “Did anything interesting happen today?”, she asked sweetly, hoping to steal his attention away. It didn’t seem to work. The voices inside her head began to bark their disapproval. Amelia was diagnosed with dissociative personality in her teens but at twenty six years old had managed to keep control since her twenty first birthday.

“I did some laundry and checked the mail,” Mark replied, his eyes not leaving the television screen. He squirmed slightly and jostled Amelia’s head, annoying her greatly. He let out a great sigh, tossing the controller next to him with a curse, “Fuck.” He brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes and face as if to wipe the fatigue away. He ran a hand through her short blonde hair before sliding out from under her. “I need to go to the restroom.” He said.

Amelia sat up frowning, “What was in the mail?” she asked with a bit more edge than she meant. She stood up slowly, suddenly resentful of the men in her life. Kyle was at work most evenings and Mark seemed to be more interested in video games than her. She knew this was an unfair assessment but it still hurt. Part of her just wanted to feel more appreciated. She walked gingerly over to the kitchen counter, her body protesting the activity after having been at rest. She found the mail and froze. There, amongst the various mess of papers, books and trash was a simple yellow envelope with the words “Past Due” printed on it. “Fuck,” Amelia said, grabbing the envelop and ripping it open. It was their electricity bill and it was late by over a month. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and sent a text to Kyle. Call me. 911. It was their code for an emergency.

“Hey babe,” Mark said as he exited the guest bathroom, “What are we having for dinner?” Amelia frowned. She had trusted Kyle to handle the power bill. She ran everything in their household, from making grocery lists to the monthly budget. She didn’t ask them for much. She cooked and cleaned. Rage built up in her and she turned her face away from Mark as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I don’t know,” she said, bolting past him towards her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her. She just needed to get away. The voices in her head screamed their dismay. Mother, her most vocal personality, chided her, “You must not fault them, dearie. They need you to take care of them” She shook her head. The others vehemently disagreed. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up” ,she whispered, falling to her knees near the bed.

“Hey are you ok?”, Mark asked through the door, his tone filled with more curiosity than concern. Amelia just wanted to just get away. From Kyle and Mark. From her Job. From her life. She hurt. Body and mind, she ached for a release from the mundanity of daily life. Amelia stood up and began to make her way to the master bedroom bathroom. She needed to be clean. To wash away these feelings of pain and resentment that poisoned her soul.

“I’m going to take a bath,” she shouted back before finishing, “No interruptions.” Her voice had that steel in it that compelled obedience. She stepped into the bathroom and turned the water on till clouds of steam drifted up. She pulled off her top furiously as if to escape the confinement of clothing. The glimpse of her body in the mirror stopped her. She had been in amazing shape in high school, a multisport athlete in track and field and softball. But the years had not been kind. Too much fast food at work had given her stomach a paunch while the hours of sitting had flattened her ass. She hated it. Even the tan she had from growing up in California had faded. Now she was left with the palest skin of anyone she knew.

“Not that I really know anyone outside here or work,” Amelia said sarcastically as she dropped the bath bomb into the tub. It was one of those freakish ones that bubbled a deep crimson like spilt blood. Kyle had gotten it for her for their first Valentine’s day, the memory of it made her smile. Those were better times. Before they fell into the hell that was their daily routine. She pulled off the last of her clothes, a pair of thick winter leggings and sensible underwear. “You are pathetic”, a voice spat from the furthest reaches of her mind. The Dark Lady Persona was many things to Amelia, from tormentor to saboteur to outlet for her darkest impulses, but she was never a liar.

Amelia stepped into the near scalding water with a gasp, hissing through gritted teeth as she sunk further into the blood red water. She could feel her muscles loosening as the heat burned away the tension the eight hour workday on her feet had built. She gently splashed the water up onto her chest, strangely entranced by the tiny rivulets as they ran down her breasts, before falling off her nipples in fat droplets. She had medium sized breasts with nickel sized tan areolas. The boys never complained but she could see how they stared at other women when they were out in public. Lately all Kyle could talk about was this girl Amber he was interested in, a fact that crushed Amelia’s self worth. She thought back to when they first met.

Amelia and Mark had met at Portland State University spring quarter when she was a freshman. She remembered their first date, a frat party where they got way too drunk and ended up passed out cuddled in the back of his white Toyota Prius. After that they just clicked. Everything worked, even their sex life was awesome. Her right hand slid below the surface of the water, passing gently over the curve of her pubic area towards her labia. She remembered the first time Mark had kissed her, the fire that threatened to consume them both. She reached down with her left hand to slowly spread the labia and pressed her right two fingers firmly against her clit. She gasped as pleasure flooded her. She fought the urge to rub it, knowing the soap and water would just irritate her sensitive areas.

Lost in the memories of the past and the sensation of the present, Amelia fought the urge to arch and slide further into the crimson water. Her left hand strayed up from her pussy to playfully tease her nipples as she remembered the first time she and Kyle had fucked, a riot of desire and rapture that blew her mind. Amelia had made him wait for it. But it was as tortuous for her as it was for him. She squeezed her nipple hard, eliciting a gasp and a soft moan of release at the thought of the first time his cock slid inside her. Amelia struggled to keep the pressure steady, the throbbing of her clit beneath her fingers pulsing waves of ecstasy throughout her entire body. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the fantasy of the past.

Amelia was adrift in her own senses. Licking her lips, she could taste his sweat, a salty memento of their lovemaking that had been burned into her mind like a tattoo. She ran her hand down from her breasts to her thighs imaging it was his hand instead. The rhythm of his breathing while they fucked haunted her like a ghost, ringing in her ears like a heartbeat. Even with her eyes closed she could picture the desire in Mark’s eyes as she climbed on top of him. The scent of lavender in the bathroom bled slowly out, murdered by the musky remembrance of the first time they fucked in his dorm room. Amelia was in a million places at once and nowhere at all.

Amelia could feel the pressure of her impending orgasm building, the inevitable flood that would crash down upon her, drowning her mind in a dopamine rush. The images were a blur now, every sexual encounter she and Mark had blending together into a collage of skin, cum, and emotion. The orgasm was a tsunami, blasting the remnants of Amelia’s day away instantly. . Amelia exhaled raggedly as her body exploded into a wave of tiny shivers. Warmth surrounded her both from the heat of the bathwater to the pounding of the blood in her limbs. She didn’t want to move.

Amelia lay in the rapidly cooling bath for several minutes, basking in the afterglow of her orgasm. Finally with a small grunt of disapproval she sat up and pulled the drain from the tub. She rose from the red water like Countess Bathory, revived and ready to face the day tomorrow. The disappointments swirled down the drain, leaving only Amelia reborn. The Voices in her head were silent once more. Amelia toweled off and grabbed her pajamas in preparation for bed.. Tomorrow would be a better day.