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Top 10 Sites Like Fetlife - Try these Alternatives

Are you tired of Fetlife? Try these popular BDSM sites below.

By Josh NoahPublished 11 months ago 9 min read
Site Like Fetlife

As the world becomes increasingly open-minded, finding space for our sexual kinks has never been easier. Thanks to the proliferation of online websites aimed solely at people with certain kinks, finding a partner that suits your tastes remains a much easier prospect than it was a few years ago. Society, in general, remains far more welcoming of such behaviours; as such, it is easy for people to be a bit more open-minded. Sites like FetLife.com make fulfilling your wishes easier, too, right?

FetLife is one of the most popular social media platforms for those who want to advertise their kinks. Whether you are into specific fetishes or you fancy a bit of BDSM, FetLife has you covered. The site has a long history, too, opening its doors as far back as 2008. So, there is a long history of success on FetLife. With easy communication with other members, it has never been easier for people to enjoy some exploration of their fetishes. It also makes planning social gatherings and events much easier.

However, while FetLife is arguably the most well-known site of its kind, awesome alternatives do exist. If you want to find sites like FetLife, then we recommend you use our list of recommended sites below. Each of these following sites like FetLife provide a very fulfilling way to enjoy the experience you desire. Whether you have a specific kink, want to find a specialist gathering, or even just want to hook up with someone locally, you might wish to try out some of the following websites for size:

Sites Like FetLife You Need To Try Out

1. BDSMdatingonly.com

2. FindomMeet.com

3. Collarspace.com

4. Reddit/BDSM

5. Fetish.com

6. Fetster.com

7. TheCage.co

8. Disboard/BDSM

9. Fetside.com

10. BDSMLibrary.com

These Fetlife alternatives provide a very fulfilling way to enjoy the experience you desire. Whether you have a specific kink, want to find a specialist gathering, or even just want to hook up with someone locally.

BDSMdatingonly.com - The Biggest BDSM Dating Site

The first site on our list of platforms like FetLife includes BDSMdatingonly.com. With over 660,000 members, BDSMdatingonly is one of the great alternative dating platforms. It offers an easy way to get your name out there into the community. While not the largest dating site for fetishes out there, you should be able to find someone local-adjacent to you.

The site has a great range of members, but please note that it clearly does not carry out criminal background screening. So, you should do your due diligence on someone before you meet them in person. Generally, the site does a good job of ensuring profiles are detailed and informative.

Joining BDSMdatingonly is free, too, but to get the most out of this platform, you probably need to get the paid membership. These can be pretty pricey, too, so only invest your hard-earned money into BDSMdatingonly if you feel comfortable. It is a generally well-respected platform for fetish dating, but it might be a bit too broad for those who are looking for a platform that caters to very specific fetishes and tastes.

FindomMeet.com - Best for Financial Domination

When you have a kink for financial domination (findom), you will find that FindomMeet is just what you are looking for. The site itself has a very specific template style design, looking very similar to many dating and adult websites you will find out there. The good news is that with over two million users and free profile placing, FindomMeet makes it easy to find the kind of domination you are searching for. Such a large user base means finding someone should be easy enough in your local area.

The profiles are nice and detailed, and we are led to believe that the site does a pretty good job of vetting fakes. Profiles are easy to set up on your side, too, making it easy to find your match. With an easy-to-use website layout and a simple filtering system, you can find local findom opportunities without having to strain yourself too much. Both paypigs and dominatrixes can find a suitable partner with FindomMeet with relative ease. In terms of pure size, this is probably the #1 site on the web for those looking to find a findom opportunity in their area.

Collarspace.com - An Old Guard In the Industry

Like FetLife, Collarspace is one of the ‘old guard’ of the BDSM dating scene. It has been around for around twenty years, and unfortunately, you can tell thanks to a decidedly dated layout. Look beyond the 2004-style layout, though, and Collarspace provides exceptional community togetherness and easy-to-use functionality. All you need to do to get started is build a profile that lists who you are, what you are into, and what you are looking for as a member of the Collarspace community.

Thanks to a community of around one million people, Collarspace makes it easy to find someone local to where you are. Users here are known for their open-book personalities, so you should not have to do too much digging to find out if someone is the right choice for you. The filter systems are great, too, and feel more modern than most of the site's layout.

Personalised ads are commonplace here, but there is also a very popular chatroom section and a forum to look through. The site is free to use, too, so you can get your kicks without having to shell out; save your money for some of that findom you have been dreaming of!

Reddit/BDSM - Dive Into Anything

If you use Reddit yourself, then you might already be aware of this particular subreddit. In terms of giving you a chance to explore your fetishes, r/BDSM is a great place to get started. It is a thriving community with a membership nearing one million. As such, it should be easy to find someone local or local-adjacent who shares your kinks and remains willing to engage in some interesting activities.

It is free to join, which is a nice bonus. If you want something totally free, then there are not many better sites. Most sites like FetLife have some kind of membership fee attached. Another nice benefit is that you can browse the forum anonymously; so long as you use the Reddit app, you can explore without having a profile.

As such, if you are simply looking for insight or inspiration, r/BDSM is a great alternative to many. It is also very open-minded, with a ‘no question it too stupid’ policy that works very well.

Fetish.com Helps you to fulfill your Fetish

If you are looking for a BDSM dating site, then this is probably one of the best places to start. Fetish.com packs in the interesting features, and most of it can be explored by signing up for a free account. While most of the best features are locked behind the paid membership, those who like to meet up with local people for fetish-friendly interplay should find a great deal of value in the offer here.

We recommend Fetish.com for anyone who is looking for a beginner-friendly BDSM dating site, too. The platform contains great resources, with their Training School being one of the best in the business for self-developing your confidence and skills in this way. The chat rooms are great for social interaction, though the main strength of Fetish.com lies in the depth and detail of the profiles.

From the forums and erotic stories to the dating functions, Fetish.com is a must-try for those looking for alternatives to FetLife.

Fetster, Strict No-fakes Policy

If you are looking for a solid dating platform, then Fetster might be what you are looking for. The community here is incredibly welcoming and friendly, so it should be easy to feel at home. One of the main bonuses of Fetster is that it has a strict no-fakes policy. Any profiles found to be fake or illegitimate get removed swiftly, so you do not have to worry about running into fakes on this site.

Like most sites like FetLife, Fetster is more like a community that you can become a part of than a dating website. Yes, you can arrange dates, munches, and even local parties through Fetster, but it is a community first and foremost. When signing up, be prepared to go through an extensive Q&A process. The more exhaustive your profile is, the easier it is to find someone suited to your kinks and fetishes!

TheCage - Just A BDSM Forum

Though TheCage is not as large as many other sites like FetLife, some find its quality to be more up their alleyway. With “just” 100,000 or so members, this is a community that you might struggle to find someone local in. If you are looking for a kinky pen pal as opposed to a place to find local meetups and domination, though, this is a fantastic community to be a part of.

The site is known for its friendly nature, especially for beginners. If you are only scratching the surface of your fetish side, this is a great community to be a part of. There are local meet-ups and online play areas, though, so you might be able to find someone more local. It just depends on your luck, really, that there is another member you connect with who is local-adjacent.

Disboard BDSM

If you have ever used Discord, then this site is a haven for you. Disboard brings together a listing of communities that share certain tags, and this link will bring you to Discord servers tagged with BDSM. As such, you can find something for every kind of kink and fetish through this platform. They list a range of “safe” servers, places to meet people in your area, and even just areas to chat about fetishes. Most of the communities are very friendly and open-minded, and you can join them for free.

This site really is just a series of links to other Discord servers that you can then join if you feel comfortable. You can review the description for each of the Discord servers and then decide which one(s) sounds like what you are searching for. A great collection of communities of varying quality, making it easy to explore and find your ideal place to explore your sexual identity.

Fetside

Much like FetLife, Fetside sells itself as a social media community. It combines many of the features we expect of something like Twitter/X, as well as platforms like dating sites. As one of the most kink-friendly social platforms out there, Fetside is a fantastic alternative to FetLife. It offers a growing community for finding people who are into the same fetishes, as well as those looking for a mistress and/or dominatrix to give them what they are looking for.

You can find a friend who shares similar interests, you could set up a local munch or even attend a fetish party in your area, or you could simply use Fetside to stay up-to-date with the latest in the BDSM community. The app is extremely easy to use, the community is extremely friendly, and you can find both friends and partners on Fetside with a fraction of the difficulty you find elsewhere.

BDSMLibrary

As one of the longest-running sites like FetLife, BDSMLibrary is a great alternative. It is actually older than FetLife, having started back in 2001. It is regarded as one of the leading sites on the web for learning about BDSM. With a community forum with around one million posts, too, finding inspiration and even exploring your fetishes has never been easier with FetLife.

From stories and blogs to an incredibly open-minded community, BDSMLibrary is a great site like FetLife. The galleries are worth a look, too, as you can find some great content that should be right up your alley. As the site tagline says, your mind is limited only by its imagination. With this excellent deposit of BDSM content, your mind can run pretty wild!

So, where will you start? What sites like FetLife do you see yourself getting the biggest kick and thrill out of moving forward in the future?

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About the Creator

Josh Noah

Love, intimacy, connection, and self-awareness.

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