What is Brat in BDSM?

If you are someone who is into a bit of BDSM fun, then you will be aware of just how quickly the scene changes. Once a bit of an underground part of the sex world, the revolution in sexual discourse over the last decade or so means that it is no longer quite so taboo to have a fetish. While broadly a good thing, this does mean that the industry has become a touch more exhausting with the number of people involved. Like anything that attracts large numbers, this means trends begin and end quickly. Take, for example, the rise of ‘brat’ in the BDSM community.

Like many, you might have come across the term ‘brat’ when using sites like BDSMdatingonly, Fetlife, Reddit or simply when talking to fellow fetish lovers. No, this does not quite relate to the ‘brat’ movement that became so big in 2024; it is completely different, in fact. To help you understand brat in BDSM, read on. We will try to break down this intriguing part of the BDSM community so you feel in the loop.

Brat In BDSM: At A Glance

So, as you probably know, BDSM is all about role playing and having a little fun. We escape our normal personalities and evolve (or devolve, in some cases) into something else entirely. You might spend your working day bossing people around and being in charge; in the bedroom, though, you might wish to relinquish some of that control, right? Well, Brat takes you into the opposite dynamic entirely.

Generally, a brat in BDSM is a Sub who acts out and is not quite as obedient as the Dominant party would demand. They try to antagonise their Dominant partner and take control back in some way, acting out and misbehaving in a way that often involves some pretty fruity punishments. While most Dominants are used to getting their way, having a Submissive act out can be a new kink experience for both.

By acting out in a way that draws the attention and often ire of your Dominant partner, a brat Submissive shakes up the usual BDSM dynamics. It’s not about being rude, abrasive, or simply acting unfairly; it is about being a bit more playful than this. One example could be someone intentionally messing up the food they were demanded to cook, forcing the Dominant to dole out some punishment. It adds another layer of spice and intrigue to the usual Dom-Sub dynamic, where the Sub essentially does what they are told without any say in the matter.

For those who may find the Submissive angle losing some of its edge, adding the spikey retorts of a brat changes things up.

Brats and Tamers

When you act out as the brat, you often need to be put back in your place. You are still part of a Submissive roleplay experience, so getting away from your brattish behaviour is not always going to be easy. In many cases, this will see the Dominant party take on the role of the ‘tamer’ to take back control. You have acted out and now need to be put back in your place like the brat you are, right?

When a brat acts out, a good Dominant manages to stay in control and retain the respect and borderline fear of their brat. Acting out as a brat pushes the buttons of your Dominant parent, and only those of a certain standard can keep their composure and take back control. Any good brat needs a tamer who is confident, assertive, and capable of re-asserting their Dominance in the relationship ASAP.

Of course, keep in mind that this is all—at the end of the day—an act. Doing stuff that would genuinely hurt or annoy your Dominant would be a silly decision, as it would kill the fun factor. Instead, for the best brat/tamer experience, it is important for the experience to still be relatively playful and fun. From spankings and restraints to something a bit more intense, a quality tamer finds a good way to make their brat feel “sorry” for their acting out.

Whether you decide to talk back to your tamer, act out, ignore what they tell you to do, or mess something up to gain their ire is up to you. Whatever you have agreed with your tamer, go for it. It’s all supposed to be a fun experience, remember.

Should I Try Brat BDSM?

Yes, we recommend anyone who has carried out the usual Sub-Dom experience vary it up a touch. Sometimes, the brat experience allows you to take back momentary control in exchange for something truly pleasurable in the end. This is all fun and games at the end of the day, so be out there; be unique!

Since brats know their tamer so well, it should be easy to find a suitable dynamic that is believable yet still fun for both parties. Try it out, you might just find that this helps to add a bit of spice and magic back into your BDSM experience!