The Rest of the "Suave" Story

This is the continuation of the story about Suave and what happened after I accepted his indecent proposal.

Read the story of our first meeting.

I had indicated that I was getting a pretty strong sense of “too good to be true” from this guy, right? He had displayed some hesitations and reservations that I had simply chocked up to our newness with each other, our “arrangement,” and his particular interest. But I hadn’t imagined the fact that we had really gotten along. Or that he enjoyed our interlude, for that matter. He messaged me afterwards thanking me and saying that he couldn’t wait until “next time.” In turn, I messaged him thanks as well and said that while I was all for his plan to spoil me and make me more selfish, that I would also be willing to have finished him by other means.

Immediately, I received a text on my phone saying:

What other means? Just curious.

Well, I think about 2.5 more minutes in my mouth would have done the trick and that’s where I was headed with it, initially.

Would have been quite content to fuck you too.

Or, I suspect…given your enthusiasm for curves…that you might have liked to come on my tits.

Or, you know…I’m open to suggestion.

Oh wow. Yes. All of the above. Ha

Damn

Damn what? Damn it’s too bad you didn’t take a different option or damn those are good suggestions?

Or damn something altogether different?

Damn…that’s hot. Tonight was exactly what I wanted

Good. I liked it. It’s good for me to practice selfish therapy.

Yup. Anytime

Reeeeee-ally? Because I could *so* see you being part of my regular playlist!

Ha. Cool

I mention needing to get something to eat and I go have dinner. An hour later he messages me again:

You’re very good at that, btw

At what?

Giving head

Good. Glad you approve.

Ha. Of course.

And may I say? Back atcha!

Good. Thank you

Oh no, thank YOU

You were sooo wet

Heh. Yeah, that happens when I am suitably persuaded.

And so, we messaged like that for the next few weeks. Yes, about my needing to learn to spoil myself & be selfish (as well as his interest in doing the spoiling,) but also about work, friends, life, TV, gambling, games. He asked me about what kind of wine I like, and what kind of coffee is my favorite. We talked about the sorts of “bachelor dinners” that we make for ourselves. I send him some pictures of Star Wars lithographs I'd seen, he tells me how he recently stripped at the gym & realized that he was wearing Star Wars boxers. We talk about getting together again, but he reveals that he’s been under the weather. Still, he keeps messaging, so it’s not a “we fucked and now I’m going to tell you I’m sick to blow you off” kind of deal. He actually apologized for not being able to “follow up” with me. Messages are steady every day or two until the 12th day after we’d hooked up. Since he had said that he was ill, I sent a brief text asking if he’s still alive. He replied “Yes, barely.” I rambled on a bit about the flu going around and how I’m going to hear a friend’s jazz combo. He doesn’t reply. But it was Friday night and I figured he was probably otherwise engaged. Given the number of texts that we’d been exchanging and the frequency of them, I wasn’t concerned about being ghosted, and I was quite certain that he liked me. I also wasn’t concerned if he was seeing other people. I certainly was and we’d been very clear about that. In fact, I was seeing quite a few people. Which makes the rest of the story even funnier.

Four days had passed since I last heard from him. This was unusual, but I just assumed that he’d likely had a busy weekend, like me. Late Monday night found me messaging with a new romantic interest. We had just made the leap from messaging to exchanging phone numbers and he wanted to talk on the phone. About a minute into my first phone call with a delightful & interesting new guy, I got a text message from an unknown number in an unfamiliar area code. The message said: “U don’t know me. But I found out about u the hard way –sent from Textfree.” Bummer. Crappy spam at 12:45am. I ignored it.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone blew up with texts. Seven in a row.

In summary, the woman who messaged me explained that for over a year, she had been dating a man that I met online. They had been intimate, and he had told her that they were monogamous. She loves him, he confessed to cheating, and is going to therapy. She’s known him since 7th grade. This is devastating. He says he’s done. When was the last time he contacted me? She’s not interested in revenge or drama. He’s deeply depressed & she’s worried about him. Some of the things he told her about our encounters (note the plural,) “ugh! I’m not going to go there!” She wants me to answer yes or no & when. (Um, what?)

Meanwhile, I should remind you that I was on the phone with the new guy. Obviously, our call was being disrupted by these multiple texts from this randomly ranting lady. Being the honest person that I am, and not wanting to be rude to the new guy, I told him what was going on. He was amused and generally nonplussed, which was good. We talked about stalkers and weirdos that we had encountered during our online dating, and I admitted that this was a first for me.

Back to the “no revenge, no drama” lady that’s been texting. I finally responded.

Ok. Not sure if I believe you aren’t after drama when you send me 7 anonymous texts at 1am, but you have my attention. Who are you talking about?

This is followed up with 24 additional texts – and I only responded once saying that I didn’t get the photo that she claimed to have sent. I had to laugh when she told me the first name of the man she was talking about because I happened to have been involved with four men with that name during the previous three months. I was able to safely eliminate two of them from possibility. She confirmed which of the other two by mentioning his being a Star Wars fanatic. Yep, I know that guy, but continue to say nothing as she spews. Generally, the messages were about holding him accountable & his deception. She loves him, she forgives him, she wants him to get help. She appealed to my sympathy and changed tactics a little bit, mentioning that she was a mom who had been going through cancer the past three years. She said that she was concerned for her safety and wanted to know if we had had unprotected sex. I guess she was expecting to make me mad or jealous when she told me how the "other women" had been so "nice and cooperative." She told me he’d been sleeping with men. I guess I was supposed to feel shocked and betrayed and suddenly become her compatriot in fury. Me? I was mostly just laughing and trying to talk to the new guy on the phone. I still hadn’t responded, and she started getting a little bit nasty – making snide remarks about how SHE wasn’t the one with anything to HIDE. (Oh yes – she’d started using all caps.) Then, responding to my earlier message about her texting anonymously, she messaged me her full name and phone number. Well heck, that’s interesting, right? She also accused me of texting him instead of messaging her back. THEN she got personal – sending me a screen shot of one of the many private conversations that Suave and I had shared. There was one particular passage where he had said that he liked that I looked like a wholesome soccer mom and he loved the idea of driving me wild with passion. I had debunked the "wholesome" suggestion by sharing some personal stuff, and she had captured a good chunk of it in the pic she sent. Then she said “well, good luck with the soccer mom thing then.”

By this time, I was starting to get pissed. Then she said how unpleasant it was to see my naked pictures. Well, I knew for a damn fact that the only way there would be any naked pictures of me was if he took some without my knowledge. I didn’t think this was likely, but I realized that it was actually possible.

Meanwhile, trying to talk to my new friend while 31 texts chimed their arrival was getting to be silly. I apologized, asked if he was going to be up for a while and said, “I’m about to go END a bitch.” I confirmed that it was okay to call him later and he said that I had better call him & tell him what happened!

So, I called up Ms. Angel Rodriguez* (*you know by now that I don’t use real names, right?) She answered and knew my real first name. I barely got a word in before she launched into her life story. It seemed like she was riding on a huge adrenaline dump because I think that she talked for about 10 minutes without stopping. I asked if she and Suave lived together. She said no, she’s been living with her parents because one has cancer & the other has kidney disease. She’s been going through cancer treatment too. I stop her. I tell her that if she and other members of her household are immuno-suppressed or have low white count that she needs to be really careful and to protect herself. I mention Suave having told me that he was sick. She admits that she thinks she gave him the flu. (Hey – he was telling me the truth about that – cool.) After she admits that they aren’t exclusive, (another point for his honesty,) she says that they have been having unprotected sex for about 15 months. I suggest that she’s smart enough to know that she shouldn’t be bare-backing with someone that she knows is not being faithful to her. Particularly if she is at-risk. She agrees. As a courtesy, I tell her that we have not had unprotected sex but that we have “fooled around” and that I’ve never been to his place (which is where the naked photos that she found were set.) When she asks when he last contacted me, I say: “recently, but not the past few days.” Apparently, the shit had hit the fan with her two days prior. That explained the “dead air” from Suave.

Ultimately, I tell her that she needs to take care of her own shit and that Suave was never dishonest with me. He told me that he had other lovers. Her relationship with him really isn’t my business and I don’t need to be further involved with any ongoing drama. She apologizes for imposing on me, thanks me for the talk. Tells me that I will find someone because I’m such a great person! She calls me “hun” and “sweetie” and tells me to take care of myself.

I was ready to go hardcore on this chick 10 minutes earlier, but by the time we’re done, I feel like she’s about to invite me for coffee. In fact, she actually messaged me the next afternoon, thanking me again, and telling me that I need to "kiss a few frogs," but she knows I will find my prince! Aaaawwwww….okay, fuck off now. She thanks me for my compassion and tells me that I saved her sanity. Yeah, well, glad I could help I guess. So weird, right?!?

Meanwhile, I considered whether to contact Suave and let him know about the exchange. I’m a bit pissed that he’s allowed my private information to be compromised and used in this fashion. On the other hand, as I said, he didn’t lie to me and gave me exactly what he said he would – lots of orgasms and lots of spoiling. No harm, no foul. Finally, I come up with the perfect way to both fuck with him and check his honesty & humor at the same time. I send him the following message:

So, Angel seems really nice. Suppose she’d be down for a three-way? Man, that was sure interesting…

His response was immediate, and I could almost hear him sputtering through the text:

Who? No. Please. I’m sorry but I have to stop emailing with you. Ugh. I’m sorry.

I like how he tried to deny it for about a half a second and then just gave up. I also like that he said “I’m sorry” often. I opted to let him off the hook. Seriously? If this gorgeous, generous, attentive man is a sex addict whose kink is pleasuring “soccer moms” and “women with curves” who the hell am I to make him feel bad about that? He deserves a fucking trophy! I respond:

It’s all good. Apology accepted. It was a little weird at 1:00 am but you were honest with me, and I personally bear no responsibility for your relationship with her. That’s on you, man. Take care, be well & best wishes.

I regret that I didn’t say something relating to Star Wars. Just to remind him what he’ll be missing, right?

He agreed, thanked me, apologized again & that was three months ago and the last time I heard from either “Suave” or his “Angel” and my new guy was highly amused – particularly about the follow-up text that I sent!