Take the headache out of gift giving

With the up and coming Hallmark holiday, there's bound to be floods of guys, gals, and all other pals pulling out their phones and typing in "late night Valentine's date ideas." Frequently paired with what makes a good gift, what flowers mean what, and what the different shades of red elicit.

I've been there, most of us have. Though funny enough I've also seen plenty of questions asking things like "does lingerie make a good gift for Valentine's Day?" Really? Left in a vacuum doing something like that is the equivalent of telling your partner "I'm only looking forward to this part of the day." What I'd give to hear how that argument plays out.

So what do you do?

Gift giving is hard, and what works for you won't often work for your partner. Some might hate cholate, not care for flowers, or might in fact love a that new set of lingerie I griped about. It takes actively listening and paying attention to the things your partners say, what they express interest in, and above all, what they don't already have. Which is why the most commonly suggested gift on a budget is a handmade, detailed, and thoughtfully written letter. Why?

Because it's guaranteed that no one other item like that exists, unless you copied someone else's homework, that's the only one of it's kind. It's special, promotes reflection, and is sure to reach for their emotional needs. Don't get me wrong. Expensive gifts can be great, but only if they're something you know they'll love. Imagine giving hint after hint towards a certain necklace, only to lift up the tissue paper and see cheetah print and crotchless panties. So please...put it down for now.

Knowing what they'll love

Well now you might be asking "how can I know for sure?" It can especially be difficult when trying to gift clothing, I mean really? Do you even know the first thing about the size of bras?

Jokes aside, it's human nature to simply tune out. It's inevitable that you'll miss some cues from your partner. However, it's not the end of the world. Here's the real trick, simply ask.

Ever have someone ask if you'd simply prefer money over a gift? Do you dislike it? Some feel like it's lazy, a cop out. Others, like me, see it as a shortcut they're happy to take. Simply accept the cash and spend it on something you know you'll love. Cause it's you buying it, duh. While not quite the same as them directly giving it to you, it can still be nice.

Does that mean I'm saying your partner might prefer money over gifts? Maybe? Who knows, did you ask?

Which brings us to the real point. Simply ask your partner what kind of gift they'd enjoy. Would they like flowers? Something handmade? A mix of both? Have an open and honest discussion, and be sure to not be dismissive of anything they might be interested in. That's what'll really bite you.

Wrapping up what you can wrap up & lingerie

Now despite all of what I said, chances are Victoria's Secret sales are still gonna rocket this week. Is that something your partner wants? If you're unsure, talk to them. Maybe they want flowers and a letter? You could also find out that your partner actually wants that pair of crotchless panties, and can skip the research on the size of bras by simply asking for theirs.

So think about it, either way your partner will appreciate the fact that you're "investing" in them by trying to find out more about them. Either way, talk to them.

And please, if you're gonna bust out the babydoll apparel, make sure it's from legitimate sites...