comedy

Comedy and humor in the sexuality space.

Saying I love you as a joke
I'm the valentine you've always wanted and there is nothing like me, but I have a valentine who's been misbehaving. I'm annoyed that my boyfriend keeps saving the nudes I send him. Snaps are supposed to stay like images burnt into your mind. They're not supposed to be an album for you. I told him I didn't want them saved but he doesn't listen and I love him too much to end it. I don't like the stupid videos he sends me back. I don't know how to tell him that they're not exciting. It's all about me. He thinks I'm selfish. I don't mean to be selfish- it's how I was created. I'm submissive but not subservient. I think he's annoying when he doesn't hear me. I can't bring myself to end it, especially on Valentine’s Day, because I'm addicted to how hot and passionate he feels about me. I broke it off once with him, but he said "please don't go" in so many words. I think I like how he chased me.
By Silent Scarlett2 years ago in Filthy
Escape from Freedom . Content Warning.
"I thought you said this was 'the beginning of a new age'? You even smiled." "I'm not so hopeful anymore. It's clear these extraterrestrials want to create a totalitarian state that will probably end up spanning the entire globe."
By ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR2 years ago in Filthy
Hustle with pleasure
Chapter 5 Where was my mother when God was creating these wealthy women? This money and luxurious lifestyle could have saved my mother's life; she has suffered so much in this world. Madam Gold handed me her handbag to hold as she walked around greeting people. I don't even know what they are celebrating or who the party is for; all I can think about is the cash that people are flaunting on the ground. If they don't need this money, they should get out of the way so I can pick it up, what kind of situation is this? I see money but I can't touch it. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and said the food had arrived, I thanked them, but my mind was not on the food, I was thinking about the money on the ground.
By Peace 2 years ago in Filthy
The Curse_via Showtime
My husband and I tried to watch The Curse streaming on Paramount+ (or Showtime if you have a subscription). The Curse stars one of my favorite actresses, Emma Stone, as Whitney. I thought, “Oh yes, yes! Emma is in this!” Nathan Felder plays her husband, Asher. The couple is trying to get a new type of HGTV show up and running, Flipanthropy. They are cutesy, over-the-top, relatable, and perky as a married home-makeover couple. The Curse begins as a sarcastic take on many HGTV stars and shows. Asher and Whitney really want to make life better for everyone with their style of homes.
By Andrea Corwin 2 years ago in Filthy
Hustle with Pleasure - Part 3&4. Content Warning.
Chapter 3 I realize that there is no escape from the task she wants me to do. I went to the designated location where she gave me instructions on where to place my head, mouth, and what to use my tongue for, as well as all the corners I needed to clean. Oh my, as I approached that area, I almost vomited. The smell emanating from there was like all the spoiled food that had been sitting in the trash for two days, that kind of smell. It really affected me, causing an unexpected cough to arise. I coughed so much that tears started to stream from my eyes. She just stood there, waiting for me to finish coughing. As soon as she saw that the cough had subsided, she resumed instructing me to eat the clunge, saying there was no time and that I would still have to endure it even after eating. I considered the help she could provide me, and if I played my cards right, it would be better to endure this now and be alright later, rather than going back to those Ikwere boys and being used for something foolish.
By Peace 2 years ago in Filthy
Hustle with Pleasure
My name is Thomas, but on the streets, they call me "Mr. Do." That's what my friends hail me whenever I manage to charm a beautiful girl without spending a dime. I come from a poor background, my family doesn't have a penny to spare, and we don't even have a house in the village. We all squat at my uncle's place whenever we visit. It's not like we go there often anyway, considering the transportation costs are equivalent to a house rent. It's been over 10 years since I last saw my village.
By Peace 2 years ago in Filthy
Tell me who this is
I've never been so attracted to an older man before. We had an intense visit. The room was small and tight. His beautiful female assistant stared into my eyes like we were from the same planet. It was confusing, almost.
By Silent Scarlett2 years ago in Filthy
The Marriage Enigma
In a quaint, tree-lined neighborhood, among white picket fences and blooming gardens, there lived a couple named Emma and William. Their love story was no ordinary tale; it was a marriage enigma, a puzzle of ups and downs, love and despair, and, ultimately, redemption.
By Rajesh kumar 2 years ago in Filthy
Confessions of a Barfly. Content Warning.
When you have less than a day to live, moments become precious. The idiot blocking my way into Grub’s Bar and Bistro had already wasted one of my precious moments. I would not let him waste any more. Suffering from some poison or another. He collapsed when I smashed him in the face.
By Davi Mai2 years ago in Filthy
I Have Never.... Content Warning.
Here is a list of things I have never done: I have never dipped chocolate in coffee; though it tasted good when I did. I have never worn my husband's underwear; though it fits me better. I have never eaten a vindaloo curry, but I did burn my tongue I have never been a virgin; what's a virgin? I have never snogged a man or woman, though those snogs are pretty hot! I have never had sex behind the bikesheds.; I've never had sex in my life! I have never had sex in a park; I don't know what you mean, dear. I have never eyed up boobs or a good butt; though that butt I saw today was very nice! I have never put the icing sugar in coffee; Nope! Not me!1 I have never licked the spoon clean after baking; though it tastes so good! I have never put alcohol in your cake; Me? I would never do that! I'd never get you drunk I have never eaten raw potato; although it tastes so good. I have never swore in my sleep; I don't swear me! I have never had a snoring fit; I never snore! I have never had sex in my sleep; though that dream I had last night was steamy! I have never looked at a naked man or woman; although that lady and man over there are pretty hot I have never been to a strip club; Shh! That's telling!!
By Carol Ann Townend2 years ago in Filthy
Wings of Hope: The Drone Rescue. Content Warning.
A drone, also known as an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV), is a remote-controlled or autonomous aircraft that doesn't require a human pilot onboard to operate. Drones come in various sizes and shapes, from small handheld models to larger aircraft resembling traditional airplanes or helicopters.
By Peter Kaan2 years ago in Filthy
Limed
I was tagged by Oneg to participate in James & Oneg's Tag You're it Challenge. Challenge rules: "Pick a Vocal community and tag/nominate another writer to write a poem or 100-word micro fic about it BUT you only have 15 minutes to write!"
By Leslie Writes2 years ago in Filthy