Sex is easy, but love is difficult

A client once shared that loving someone wholeheartedly or maintaining a long - term relationship is exhausting. Single life is carefree and relaxed. If there's a sexual desire, one can find various ways to relieve it. The client wondered if it would be great to have sex without love, like Adam and Eve, without the need to put in so much effort into a relationship. Is loving someone wholeheartedly too troublesome and costly?



I've heard similar sentiments often. Western scholars have said, "People in the Victorian era wanted love without physical intimacy; modern people want physical intimacy without falling in love." This describes it perfectly. But it's not just men who have such thoughts of freedom. For women, loving someone can also be tiring and seem to come at a high cost. Yet, why do some still seek a lifelong partner with genuine love?



Love requires long - term effort; sex only needs physical union. "Sex" and "love" are two sides of the same coin. Good sex can compensate for insufficient love, and strong love can make up for lackluster sex. Trying to separate them can sometimes lead to self - inflicted pain. Making love is simply doing something pleasurable with someone you like, both physically and spiritually. Sex is inherently beautiful and brings joy. But love is different—it comes in many flavors: sweet, bitter, sour, and happy. Only someone who has shared these experiences with you through thick and thin might be worthy of being your soulmate.



Many people besides discussing sexual issues, often complain about their love lives and their partners. They gripe about a lack of consideration, strong controlling desires, unwillingness to change, or differences in concepts and personalities. These issues lead to arguments and disappointment. Even if they still share a bed, with sexual desire driving occasional intimacy, the cold relationship and ignored problems eventually push them apart and can lead to breakups.



Generally, if one only wants to enjoy the good aspects and is unwilling to face the journey and responsibilities that come with loving someone, the relationship is unlikely to last, let alone be happy.



Building a relationship with dedication isn't difficult.



For men, sex may be an instinct, but love is more complex. Men, often being less perceptive, may find women's intricate thoughts hard to fathom, leading to the idea of choosing physical pleasure over emotional love. However, understanding women and being willing to invest effort can make building a long - term loving relationship achievable. Since you choose your partner, not all relationships are fraught with difficulties. Couples shouldn't abandon a good long - term relationship because of some frustrations. Regarding love, men should understand the following:



Trust is crucial in long - term relationships. Without it, love breeds suspicion and worry, leading to conflicts and breakups. To build trust, trust your partner and make them trust you. Men should initiate conversations to understand each other's thoughts, views, personalities, life concepts, and habits. This helps future emotional development. Also, giving your partner freedom and privacy is key to building trust.



A sense of security is similar to trust but also involves being there for her during low moments and having a future - oriented plan. While women are equal to men in many aspects, if you can provide comfort, encouragement, and a well - planned future that includes her, she'll feel secure and more willing to stay with you.



Love is valuable because it teaches two strangers to understand and accept each other. No one is perfect. In seeking a lifelong partner, we learn about the other's flaws and our own. If your partner tolerates your shortcomings, be grateful and reflect on whether you're equally tolerant.



In relationships, don't focus too much on others' faults when things go wrong. Instead, self - reflect and demand more from yourself. When conflicts arise, use patience and calm communication to resolve issues. Even if the relationship ends, you'll grow and become a better person, more charming in future relationships.