Reunited After 25 Years 44: But It Wouldn't Really Be My Baby!

"So how did your appointment go?" Anton asked his wife that evening.

"I told Dr. Lloyd about how I've been trying to get pregnant," Andrea replied. "He referred me to a fertility specialist."

She called the fertility specialist, Dr. Smith, the next morning, and was able to get an appointment for the following week. She and Anton arrived at an ultra-modern looking clinic with an immaculately-trimmed lawn and abstract metal structures adorning the front entrance. They stepped into a flawlessly white, brightly lit waiting room with one entire wall dedicated to a large collection of photos of adorable babies of both genders and every race imaginable.

"We're Anton and Andrea Kolchin," Andrea told the receptionist, who was a tall, slender woman with light brown hair who looked to be in about her mid twenties and was chewing gum.

"Have a seat." The receptionist nodded without looking up.

Andrea and Anton sat on a comfortable brown sofa in front of which was a coffee table littered with magazines. Andrea picked up the one on top. 'How old is too old to become a mother?' was printed in giant letters across the front.

"I wonder if all those babies were conceived after their parents came to this clinic." Andrea nodded toward the wall with all the baby photos.

"It could be," Anton replied.

Dr. Smith turned out to be a pleasant, soft-spoken middle-aged man with salt-an-pepper hair and a mustache. He went over Andrea and Anton's basic information and then asked them more specific questions.

"How long have you been trying to conceive?"

"Since about July," Andrea told him.

"And you have a nineteen-year-old son who was conceived with no difficulty."

"Yes, sir."

"And you, Mr. Kolchin, have a daughter the same age who was also conceived with no difficulty."

"My first wife did have fertility trouble. We were very lucky to be able to have Darya in the end."

"I see." Dr. Smith frowned. "As I'm sure you know, fertility declines with age. While it is, of course, more pronounced and dramatic for women, it's true to a lesser extent for men as well. I'll need a sperm sample from you, Mr. Kolchin, and I'll also need to check your wife's estrogen and progesterone levels. I'll know better how to help you once all the test results are in."

"You see? That is all there is to it," Anton said as they left the clinic. "He will test me, and he will test you, and of course everything is all right, because I have Dasha and you have Denny. Probably he will say to just wait awhile longer."

"I sure hope you're right," said Andrea.

"Of course I am right." Anton grinned.

They went to get the lab work done the next morning, then awaited their next appointment with Dr. Smith.

Andrea entered the clinic for the second time with trepidation. The physician's rather grave expression made her heart do flip flops. She and Anton took a seat and waited eagerly to hear what Dr. Smith had to say.

"I have both good news and bad news," Dr. Smith began. "The good news is that Mr. Kolchin's sperm count is completely normal, excellent really, considering his age. The bad news is that what I suspected is true. Mrs. Kolchin's hormonal levels indicate that she's in fact already entered menopause. That means, Mrs. Kolchin, that you are no longer ovulating. What I see as our best option would be to use ova donation, in which healthy ova are retrieved from a younger woman, fertilized in vitro, and then implanted in your uterus. From that point on you can expect a normal pregnancy and delivery, and will be fully able to breastfeed if you so desire. We've had excellent results using this method so far, and it's what I recommend."

"But it wouldn't really be my baby!" Andrea protested.

"It would be your baby in every sense except genetically," Dr. Smith told her. "You would carry and deliver the child just as if it had been conceived naturally. We would select an ova donor who physically resembles you, same hair and eye color and so on. The ova donor would, of course, have no legal rights to the child. She's paid for her services just as a sperm donor would be."

"But it still wouldn't be the same!"

"Andrea, Dr. Smith is offering us a chance to have a baby of our own," Anton said. "What does it matter how the baby gets here? Once it is here, it is ours!"

"I would feel as if I were carrying a stranger inside me!" Andrea moaned. "I would feel...violated."

"That is ridiculous," Anton argued. "How could you be violated by a sweet, innocent baby? One who will love you and will call you Mama?"

"I could just never feel like it was really my baby." By now Andrea was crying hard.

"That is a very stupid thing to say." By now Anton was practically shouting. "You want a baby, and the doctor here offers you a chance to have one, and you turn it down. What if you needed a heart transplant, Andrea? What if you had a bad heart? If a donor heart was available, would you turn it down because it came from someone else? Is that what you would do?"

"That would be a completely different situation!" Andrea exclaimed.

"It would not be a different situation at all. It would be a very similar situation," Anton replied.

'You don't have to make a decision about this right now," Dr. Smith put in. "In fact, I won't proceed with it unless you're both sure it's really what you want."

"I don't need to think about it," said Andrea. "I've already told you how I feel about it, so there's no need to discuss it any further."

"You are a very stubborn woman, Andrea," Anton said coldly. "You say you want a baby, but you really do not. If you did you would listen to the doctor."

"But I do want a baby, very badly," Andrea wailed. "I just want it to be my very own."

Anton stalked angrily to the car without saying another word. Andrea had to practically run to keep up with him. He didn't even give her time to fasten her seat belt before he sped away.