Readers Stand By Hentai.

Young sexually active males would be astonishingly shocked by the stash I've grown. Porn stash, that is. These eyes have seen an excessive amount of cum this last year. The digital kind, clearly. I wasn't satisfied enough by my first porn site medium though, so boredom coupled with lewdness to create the catalyst for my online infidelity.

That relationship had gone stale, but I wasn't ready to give it all up right away. Not until I found someone - rather, something - new to replace it with. After all, everyone knows that the key to moving away from your past is to replace it with your future before you let it go. I could preach a lie to you, as all preachers often do, and shout, "Kidding!" right here, but instead I'll speak some facts, like all the best scientists do.

Matter of fact, we'll say my first, it would be a lie to state that I had never "picked up" before I "left off" in the matters of the heart and vagina. I am pretty sure doing so would simultaneously convert that "factual" sentence into an oxymoron imposter and turn me into a preacher. Can't have that kind of indiscretion taking place, not on my watch.

I hypothesize that the practice "replacement with" is far more effective than "displacement from" in terms of effectively and efficiently letting go and moving on. I tested both styles in separate experiments and discovered empirical evidence that replacing Bob with Jim before I let Bob go worked better than letting Jared go and then pursuing Zachary. Obviously better for the control in this experiment, me, not the variables, them.

Zachary was a misrepresented sexual novice, but by the time this first experiment concluded that working to fix him would lead me to ultimately declare him a total loss, I discovered that my prior Jared insurance plan was already two months into the start of a new contract with Jessica and, in conclusion, my vagina wept for choosing “goodbye” as step one of the procedure.

Proposing step one as “goodbye” Bob, an asshole undeserving of my unwavering affections that was fantastic in bed, in experiment two could potentially mean that my vagina and eyeballs would have to shed unnecessary tears also. Scouting Jim because of his phenomenally better set of skills and then recruiting him for my next starting line up for next season's sex games as the first and second steps instead, didn’t guarantee tearless results, but seemed more likely to be effective at moving me off and away from Bob though. The latter prediction turned out to be true, so I theorize that I’d make an excellent scientist. I skipped right over emotionally depressing myself in experiment two due to the horniness I purposefully could have created from the lack of Bob's physically impressive touch and safely hopped on over to Pleasure Town with Jim, who was way better at going down town. Therefore, I conclude “hello -insert name of replacement-” is the better key to use over “goodbye -insert name of displacement-” afterall.

So there you have it - science! By the way, since I’m listing facts, I was kidding earlier before the statement I “wasn’t kidding” about, if you’re wildly curious. It was not the digital kind and I had seen a lot of it that year. It all came from one man, too. I cheated on my porn site with him, but also for him because of something he and I had in common, a shared feeling of boredom when observing porn involving real people.

It’s important to mention that we define “real” between each other in regards to porn as “content that is created involving subjects that could hypothetically be located and then physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically harmed by the intended audience, or objects, of the content.” Thile that sounds psychopathic to say, but it’s a necessary definition to review with you, so don’t leave huffy and frustrated before I explain further. Be a like minded selfless lover and don’t quit until the job, or in this particular instance, vocal, is finished.

He and I replaced that “real” porn we weren’t fond of with digital porn and discovered, not only exactly what we needed to pump out all that glorious cum I mentioned before, but also that an entire new booming industry growing in the heart of COVID was under some serious tension that needed some relieving. Unlike with masturbation, we can’t do that alone. As much as it wounds my vain ego to admit it, him and I aren’t that good in bed.

We rather quickly jumped into a threesome with Mega Drive after discovering animated porn, so I could save all the videos that I liked. I even upgraded my free Mega to the one that can hold two Terabytes. I was told by an incredibly gorgeous man, far better with technology than I am, that the unit is a ton of space, so clearly I liked a lot of what we found. The first time we had sex, before we even knew what Mega was, Detective Pikachu was running in the background. Afterwards, I found out he and his ex opted for the ambiance of 2D Anime Echie during their rompings typically. I exchanged how I started my sexual exploration online with that same medium because of a love I had for Inuyasha and other various anime shows that I watched when I was going through puberty. However, excessive exposure from our lengthy, on average, twenty four or more hour sexual marathons - there’s an explanation there, but you’re just not ready for it yet - quickly led to the discovery of another common denominator. Both he and I found out together that numerous aspects it featured, while initially undetectable, eventually became extremely annoying.

Things like the overuse of degrading “lewd” women by victim blaming, those same animated ladies annoyingly whining in a ridiculously high pitched tone, or the impossibly repetitive nature of words coming from any gal whose entire mouth was stuffed full of more than just words. Like with all relationships, we had reached the point where all the things we loved at the beginning suddenly became a liability because after the honeymoon phase ended those traits were finally obvious and eventually sexually distracting.

I will not go into much detail here regarding our opinion on why these aspects are so predominant in 2D Animated Japanese Hentai, but I do think it’s worth noting a history of sexual repression in the content’s birth country and how that could possibly have played a major role. The content we found was mostly created from scripts of popular Manga and their sequels, so even though some of it was created from or as new stories branching out from old originals, a lot of the customs we found annoying had been passed down from ink to binary unfortunately. In an attempt to avoid turning ourselves or the content off during our sexual exploits, we decided to simply search for some that our home country birthed and discovered bratty ladies who were not whining and ponies that didn’t live in stables. They were also three dimensionally pleasing.

It was all so hot, we desperately needed some water to cool down, but it turns out animating liquids is rather difficult. Which was unfortunate for us, since liquids were both our favorite “thing,” in basically every way you can imagine. Apparently we shared that similarity with a lot of the animated porn community because before long those glorious multi-colored liquids overflowed in the videos we found on our searches. It was dirty and we were drenched from their showers. Those first few sessions following the discovery of our beloved 3D porn were golden, but short lived when I accessed that first porn site we commonly utilized and discovered it had abruptly been robbed.

This site dumped nearly everything in an attempt to avoid losing partnerships that would cost them dearly. They also wanted to ensure their company would be better able to monitor for harmful content that could potentially hurt an innocent, so they decided to finally enforce that verification was required. In theory, this process increased the quality of posted videos and the site overall by guaranteeing subject safety, but definitely decreased the amount of content initially after the purge. At least until they were able to go through the time consuming process of verifying any resubmitted uploads from its users, a task I am fairly certain they are still working on. A fatal error on their part to remove the animated content on their site along with all the “real” ones led to the greatest revolution in porn history and the beginning of the end to the antiquated porn sites I have now grown to detest for so many reasons.

Let’s be real though, the only way to “verify” with zero doubts that something isn’t real, is to one hundred percent know that something is fake. Unlike those inexperienced young sexually active men that dared to glance at my glorious stash, reaching an agreement on how to define either side of that spectrum for verification was going to take awhile.

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[More to follow.]