Porn Again-A Novel, Part Nine

CONTINUED FROM PART EIGHT...

When the day of the first staff meeting came, Happy felt confident in his position. He’d spent a serious amount of time researching virtually every inch of the store. As he formally introduced himself to the staff and went over his background, he could hear quite a bit of snickering.

“So are you suicidal?” one kid asked.

The question caught him off guard. Where the hell did they get that crazy idea?

“Is there anything of relevance anyone here wants to ask?”

“Well, we were just thinking that if you came from selling Bibles in a Christian bookstore to now selling dildos and cock rings, then you might be headed towards suicide,” the kid quipped. “This job isn’t exactly keeping in tune with the Jesus movement, is it?”

The kid who remarked was a bright, spritely one, tall and strapping with boyish good looks. A bit on the flamboyant side, his curly locks tucked behind a black messenger’s cap, and his armbands coupled with several rings on his fingers suggested he was also stylish.

“What’s your name kid?”

“Blake, boss. Blake Adams.”

“Well Blake,” Happy continued. “Whatever my religious ideology may be, I’d like to keep it out of the store, and I’d suggest that everyone here do the same. Let me assure you all that I am not now, nor have I ever been suicidal. Let’s get back to business, shall we?”

“What made you decide to move to New Orleans?” Danielle asked.

Happy could see those eyes, seemingly hollowed due to the dark circles surrounding them weighing down on him again.

“Change of pace you could say. Now-“

“What did your wife think about that?”

This young lady had some nerve. Happy had forgotten the ring still on his finger. Nowadays, it was more of a shackle than anything.

“Much like my religious views, I’d like to keep my personal life out of business also. Now-“

“She probably cheated on him,” Blake added. “My uncle caught my aunt cheating on him about six months ago.”

Happy couldn’t believe it. This was getting nowhere.

“Oh really?” Starscream asked. “Did he leave her?”

“Hell no,” Blake replied. “When he saw that it was with another woman, he asked to join in. They even made a sex tape and posted it online.”

“Oh yeah?” Barabbas asked. “How many hits did the video get?”

“More than the back of my throat on a good night brother,” Blake continued. “You wouldn’t believe the awful shit I saw my aunt-“

“Alright, enough!” Happy fired back. “Let’s keep the personal details out of this. Now as you all know, the store will be going through a lot of changes and remerchandising in the weeks to come. The corporate office has decided to sink a lot of money into this store and get it ready for next year. We’ve got Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras, and a host of conventions coming into the city and this store will be expected to be in top shape. That’s where you all come in.”

Over the next hour or so, Happy set the tone for the new direction the store was headed in. Everything from merchandising to the dress code and employee issues was addressed. He could feel a lot of faces hit the floor as the new rules came down, especially that of Danielle’s. She couldn’t wait to ask yet another question.

“As far as the time/attendance thing goes, that’s fine but what if I’m late on account of my doctor’s appointment running over?”

“You just went to the doctor already,” Blake said.

“Sounds like somebody might be pregnant,” Barabbas chimed in.

“Pregnant? How?” Blake asked. “We all get 30% off condoms in the store. How the fuck are you pregnant?”

Danielle began to grow agitated. “I never said I was pregnant assholes.”

“Hey boss,” Blake continued. “You got any kids?”

“I thought I was very clear about the ‘personal life’ issue,” Happy replied.

“Well, we were all just wondering what would make a married man leave his wife in Florida and come to New Orleans to sell sex toys. Are you like a closet freak or something?”

“I think maybe it’s time you lightened up,” Barabbas added. “The man is our new boss. And speaking of freaks, look who’s talking.”

Blake flashed a huge smile, pulling off his hat and taking a bow. Happy could see the kid loved to stand out, due to colorful purple streaks dyed into his hair.

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it sharpshooter.”

“Can we get back to business?” Happy asked.

As for Starscream, still reeling from the incident at the club, she tried to remain as innocuous as possible. Happy understood. Not one to be mostly doom and gloom, he broke the news to the staff that the store would be partnering up with the strip club down the street. Not only would they offer discounts to the dancers and other employees of the club, but also the club would in turn throw an employee appreciation party once a month. This was in addition to the huge grand re-opening party that the company was planning for the store once it was renovated. Lucky for whatever reason, had managed to pull strings with Christopher and gotten approval to be the DJ for the event. Happy knew he had to keep his eyes on him at all times.

“Now for sales, which is the reason why we’re all here,” he continued. “It’s my personal belief that presentation counts for roughly 60-70% of the sale...”

***

Later on that day, while Happy was making the rounds with the staff, a group of women made their way up to the second floor. Because this floor was where most of their sales came from, he was surprised to see that no one on staff was present to help them. Soon enough, he found out that it was Danielle who was slated to cover the floor for a break. She was nowhere to be found. He eagerly rushed to help them.

“How are you ladies doing today?”

“Oh that’s okay, don’t worry about it,” a boisterous and older figure of a woman replied. “I think we can manage just fine, but you can point us in the direction of a female staff member in case we do need help.”

“Unfortunately right now, we don’t have anyone available, but I’ll be glad to answer any questions you may have.”

A smirk flashed across the woman’s face. “You??? And how so?”

“Well, I happen to be very knowledgeable up here. I’m the new Store Manager,” he said offering his hand.

The gesture was not well received. “Sorry sweetheart, but you don’t have a clit,” she replied. “How can you possibly help me?”

“Oh...you’d be surprised.” He could feel himself getting ready for the impending challenge.

“Ok baby, help me, help all of us,” she said. “I’m looking for something for my clit. You think you can help us out with that?”

“Certainly. I can do even better, but first I’ll need to see some I.D. please.”

A confused look crossed her face. “I.D.? What do you need that for?”

“Well, we have a very strict policy here. You have to be at least eighteen to shop on this floor.”

The words struck all of them numb. Playing up to their vanity, the woman smiled and relented. The others fell in line, quickly rummaging through their purses.

“Follow me.”

Happy led the ladies over to a plush and larger version of the Liberator Zeppelin he’d had set up on the sales floor a few days prior. With the second floor being a haven for customers, especially women, he wanted it to be as inviting as possible. What better way to do this than to provide women with somewhere they could relax and unwind? He had to admit; he was enjoying the little bit of swagger that was growing within him. He may not have had years of experience with sex toys, but he knew sales.

As they all got comfortable, Happy pulled from a box none other than the LELO SORAYA.

“It’s okay, you can touch it,” he whispered to the woman.

She obliged, running her fingers along the curved edge and clit stimulator.

“And how much is this?”

“This beauty goes for about $200.”

“$200???” she exclaimed, quickly letting go.

Happy reassured her. “Well sex toys are just like anything else in life, you get what you pay for. Besides, you look like a woman who appreciates quality minus all the nonsense.”

She readily agreed to that assessment. He was on to something.

“Put your hands back on it baby,” he said.

She obliged, blushing a little.

“Now consider this. It has ten speeds, waterproof and rechargeable, and is fully submergible in water. You can use this either in the pool or the tub, doesn’t matter. Not to mention, it comes with a ten-year guarantee. Hell, ladies, my marriage didn’t last that long.”

They all laughed. He was quite comfortable with himself.

“Now, here’s the fun part. Are you ready?”

“Give it to me,” she replied.

Happy turned the vibrator on, slowly working his way through ten different levels of vibration and pulsation, all with varying degrees of intensity. The lady had to admit; she’d never felt a toy like this before.

“Oh my God,” she said as her girlfriends all tried to feel the vibration as well.

“Now the difference between the LELO SORAYA and any other standard vibrator we have is of course in the quality. Any standard vibrator or bullet on the wall in terms of overall satisfaction is the equivalent of a Toyota. This lady...is a Ferrari.”

He quickly turned the vibrator off, much to their displeasure.

“As I was saying, if you want quality, you pay for quality. If you have any other doubts, just consider this as well. Unlike your husbands or boyfriends, this little darling won’t get you pregnant, won’t spread any infectious diseases, it will always remain hard and most of all...it will never say anything stupid.”

The women all sat stunned.

“Now ladies,” Happy continued. “Will it be a Toyota or a Ferrari?”

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART TEN...