My brother just turned 18

Caught my brother sending lewd photos and being too intimate through his cellphone records.

So a little bit of background:

My brother just turned 18. I'm 7 years older than him. He attended one of the prestigious universities in my country under a scholarship. I'm proud of his achievements and often brag about him to my friends! We are separated by years but we share a lot of family struggles together, and I do consider becoming a mom, a dad, and all of that to him since my parents had their problems, too. He is one of the top performing students, and everything that I earn from my job and other side jobs since one is not enough, goes to our lexpensesxpense and his educational needs. Having been in the university with too little material and financial support, I know how hard it is, and I don't want him to suffer the same. So even when I lack sleep doing home-based side jobs, it was all worth it seeing him put in his best. My mom is the same too, working her bones to the core to help as much. By this time, my dad already passed away and my older brother was living somewhere far from us. It's only the three of us.

So, what happened? Ever since he entered University, my mom kept on bugging me to check on his schedule and to check his activities. And being the too-busy person juggling different jobs, I just said yes but never did what she asked for. First, it's an invasion of privacy. He's already 18; I do not want to overstep my boundaries and strangle his freedom in the process. The school he's attending is situated in the nearest province. It takes 1–2 hours to travel from our City. He goes home every day because we can't afford to spend on a dormitory and his independent living expenses. He goes early in the morning around 4-5 am and returns home by about 5-8 pm. And when he's already at home, he's always on that little netbook of mom until late at night. On his day off from school he will still be on that netbook almost the whole day and being a gamer myself, I don't mind as long as he enjoys and doesn't neglect his studies. For the first two semesters of his first year, he did perform well. Above average if I must say!

On Christmas, I helped him finance his second-hand smartphone. Since then he never stopped using that cell phone. I promised to buy him a new one and he prefers this one since he does not use it too much, he says. I still said I would buy him someday. Contrary to that, he uses both the netbook and the cellphone so much that it requires him to use them while it is charging. Of course, there are a lot of complicated pass codes which is normal for a personal thing.

Then came Mother's Day.

It was supposed to be his break but he said he has to go to school for whatever reason I can no longer remember. For orientation? For enrollment to the third semester? I don't remember anymore, but what I do remember is that he went ahead, so okay, for me. No big deal. Go to whatever school requires you.

Then came the evening.

He did not go home.

Did not go home the day after either.

Or on the third as well.

We started to worry from day one. On the third day, I even printed out a whole bunch of missing person posters from my office getting ready to distribute them if he still doesn't come home. We went to his friends we know of. I tried to contact his classmates at school, his friends, his acquaintances; and anyone I could search through his Facebook profile. But no one. No one knew. We mourned for days thinking about what could have happened to him. Is he safe? Is he eating? Is he well? IS HE STILL ALIVE? We don't know anymore! What we know is the distress it caused. We haven't been sleeping properly. My mom would cry in front of me., I was so driven to NOT CRY in front of her. I put a brave face in but hid in my sleep in my office bathroom on public transportation almost everywhere except my home! My boyfriend went home that day and has been staying with us while searching.

We were strutting about outside when I came to get this message from Mom that my brother texted him asking him to reach for help. My heart skipped a beat. It's already the middle night and what could befall him for god's sake? He texted that he was in a certain train station, with darkness all around him, hiding for his life, and needed help. While discussing the phone with my mom, I quickly hailed a taxi with my boyfriend and instructed him to speed off because of course it's an emergency. My boyfriend is already preparing for what may eventually turn out to be a brawl and I already bailed out and contacted my police cousin to contact her colleagues in the area for stand-by in case of a possible mess. This would take 15 minutes by cab on the fastest kph in the most empty road since it's already the middle of the night. So going back, after that 3-minute preparation for a fight inside the cab, I got a call from my mom 5 minutes after saying that my brother was back and hurry home since he was acting weird and my mom was already blocking the door so he wouldn't get out. So pathetic. I got really angry. Apologized to my cousin. To her colleagues. To my boyfriend. To the taxi driver. And we rushed home. It took about 20 minutes for us to go back because we did not want to waste our money by hailing another cab again.

We came. He is acting weird. All covered in sweat on his shirt he last wore when he left home carrying a different jacket that we did not buy. I composed myself. Controlled my anger. And asked my brother and mom to leave us two to talk.

He started talking to me and said that he was kidnapped. He runs from that station to our house. The place would take at most a minute cab ride. He said to me that he was kidnapped. And he was able to run out. I let him benefit due to my doubt, although the facts did not fit into his story. He mumbled things that I could not understand. The first thing that came to me was, "Are you on drugs?" and he denied it. He said he was kidnapped. I told him to go to the hospital. And he still refused. He raised his voice. And told him, "Go on hit me". I'm a 5'3" girl and he's 6'1". He almost did. But did not. I hugged him. Talked to him calmly. And on bended knees begging him to take us to the hospital, and seeing how he was driven to the corner saying 'yes' to my suggestion he starts behaving normally, says he's fine already, and does not recall what happened.

He said he was hungry and I urged him to go eat I bought chicken after he changed from his soaked clothes.

My mom kept on saying that he was drugged. That story is unbelievable. I told her we didn't know what happened. For now, let's let it go. Days passed. Not even a week, he did it again for 2 days. I got furious since I've been protecting him taking his sides and giving him the benefit of the doubt. I started taking his phone and telling him he was grounded until he made things right. In our family, grounding doesn't go to an unusual height, but he never yelled or hollered about it until this day! He's throwing stuff like "How do you invade my privacy? How do you steal my phone?" in my mind, I kept on telling myself, "I gave you that phone brat!" I also took his precious game cards. Called me a thief for that. He bombarded me with his hurtful words and I chose to take my stand.

He keeps on bothering me and almost wanting to punch me but my mom always intervenes.

He even made himself enter the bathroom when I was about to enter just to corner me.

Again, he's not going home. And we know he's been sleeping somewhere so we do not bother him again.

One day my mum kept complaining to me that I should browse his phone again for whatever information at least. With all those passcodes I passed with the help of Google Assistant and Android. I know his email and it's logged in his phone so opening his smartphone is possible. I opened it and I didn't know what to say to my mom. He had pictures of his boyfriend. Not that we knew he was gay at the time! He and his bf in a love hotel. He flirting with him/sexting sending nudes/ conversation. And on Mother's Day, he tells his bf's mom "Happy Mother's Day! " while my mom is looking for him crying her eyes out that day. He was also lying about his grades. He edited his grades making them seem much higher than they are.

He passed the subject even without doing that. (I also checked his grades upon the suggestion of my older brother that maybe it was because of his falling grades). I took a picture on my phone to show it to my bf and erased the lewd ones that might send my mom to the hospital. He even bad-mouthed us in front of his bf. Saying we are the worst," his boyfriend replied. "We deserved to be burned. That house and us in it deserved to be burned." This is where I cried. We, I made a lot of those sacrifices, I cried, I protected him with everything I have, and seeing those words threw me to the ground weeping.

My mom saw me cry the first time in that incident.

It's like everything I worked for has gone in vain. I even have a job waiting for me in another country to provide for him more because soon he will be doing all those senior students do with loads of school requirements and research. Eventually, everything regarding his sexual orientation came out in the open when I told it to my mom. She cried. However, accepted it nonetheless. He came home and spoke to him about that. But what we get, instead of an apology "I am quitting school," "I am leaving the house," and "Don't ever stalk us or disturb us". I punched him right in the face almost jumping because of our height difference. I couldn't hold it together anymore! Is it too much to explain all these? ← That's what I wanted only, only an explanation.

A talk.

I cried.

I beat up my hand more than his face. But too late. He continued on his way. I let him be. I comforted my mom, my older brother, and my boyfriend. I told her to leave him be too. "We've done everything we could. He has his own decisions.". Now, the only reason he calls is because it's convenient. If he got a job and needs his documents that are still on our house. He even refused to give his number and didn't open his Facebook anymore. For a year we don't know anymore. We don't even know where he is or if he is still alive as our messages on Facebook (our only connection) remain unread up to date.