Kitten in Heat: Part 5

Ghosted

She rode me until I hit the biggest orgasm, meanwhile, I was feeling the tip of her sword on my wrist as she held me down. I began to scream out in fear over ecstasy. I wanted to be released. I tried to rip her hand from around my neck but couldn’t. My arms, legs, and chests began to feel numb and heavy. I could not move and my scream became a muffling whisper…. It is like warm waves when they come and then the heat becomes unbearable and the end result is the burning blisters. The saving grace of my alarm woke me up. Yet my mind was racing.

Is this the trigger point for the Borderline Personality sufferer?” I quickly grab my phone to Google: “Triggers of BPD?”

“The most common BPD triggers are related to interpersonal distress, especially relationships… experiencing intense fear, anger, impulsive behavior, self-harm, and even suicidality when events in a relationship make them feel rejected, criticized, or abandoned…”

( Salters-Pedneault, Ph.D., 2020) None of the above, but the revelation that I had been without warning . Ghosted !!!

In the realm of reality, I was suddenly feeling out of place. I had not heard from Mateo, Umi, or my Guapo Senor (Antonio) in several weeks. Work had me overly consumed, along with hanging out at a few bars for drinks, food and live music, and hustling my artwork for extra funds. My days and nights and lure for more exciting spaces to socialize was my on-again pleasure. I had not noticed the missing greetings or chime- ins of the cliche “Good Morning, Beautiful, Tuesday Chats and Have Sweet Wet Dreams.” Where was my supply of love? Why had I been ghosted by the three? I was becoming quite anxious about the lack of understanding. Not even a “good morning beautiful,” I was confused and perplexed!

My pandora’s box squeaked from lack of jarring like an old treasure box; sunken deep in an ocean. I had nothing in the treasure chest and the thought gave me a chill. My birthday is in about three weeks I would love to spend my special day with Antonio. Last we talked, I mentioned heading to Chicago. I got no response. Umi would be up North and a thirty-minute drive from Chicago but I did not want to bother him while he was supposedly taking a quick work assignment. Work? I don’t believe Umi even holds a job outside of the Drag Show Performances.

Antonio and our last visit was a bit overwhelming. I don't like confrontations or silly misunderstandings. I like making love, not war. I had no grudges because I would not hold someone to the Holy Grail for slighted behavior that was triggered by unknown sources. My box needed a fixin. So, I sent one of my most recent seductive nudes to his DM. For sure to get a response. And it did!!!

But not without the blurring words, attacking me verbally. He jarred with blaming me for how he’d felt so dismissed after our weekend getaway. I was clueless about why he felt so affected by my actions. With all the rattling in my head, I never got a clear answer on what triggered him and made him ghost me for the last month.

“... I thought we were being open and honest about our intentions?”

“ Yeah, but it does not give you the right to disrespect my manhood!”

Trying to replay the fuzzy night in my head, “ummmm, she approached me…”

“Yeah, and you made sure she was welcomed to have you any way she wanted to!”

“So, you are mad at me, after were talked openly about me added a woman into our situation…. I’d recalled in earlier conversations that you’d love to watch! Humph...the way you jerked off, I’d figured you could have enjoyed her getting me off!”

“ It is what I do to release tension!”

The conversation was getting quite intense and I wanted to get on his good graces; so I apologized. Submissively and in my head knowing the reality of his feeling of dismissal. He was punishing me for not allowing him to initiate the act of licking my pussy and fucking me before I allowed anyone to get me off. The pride and ego haunt us both, despite our Alpha personas and mask we wear.

The mask is such sheering pain. Yet, it complicates my nakedness for I want to be released and submit. I secretly submit in my leisure time as I pass the time; alone in my thoughts and space.

He came four times within the two hours; before dinner at Whiskey Reds in Marina Del Rey. The scene was alluring. The waves of the water cooled the fiery that engulfs us during our breaks. Savory, I can't help but salivate and moisten my lips. The food and the wine are still on my taste buds. Our similar taste for fine delectables summons an aphrodisiac to stimulate our crazy sex modes. I wanted to go back to the suite and make love over fucking each other’s powers out. He knew how to seduce me with the foreplay of using his charm and chivalry. He surprised me with the Saxophone man sending us on our way.

Out of my dress and heels, I tiptoed over to draw the curtains wide open. Quickly, making my way back to him to undress him. Still lingering of the smell of sea salt aromas mingled in with his fragranced oil. I relented to him taking me from behind and placed my hands on the full- length mirror. We turn me on. We're more than an illusion like Grecian Statues. Sweet fucking. This molding is priceless, yet a form of redemption.

Catching a breath, we exhaled and I elected to watch a lil porn over the sporting entertainment. I chose the category for couples masturbating together. One of my favorite couples on PH, the most sensual and tantric emotions that lead to the most powerful orgasm for us both. We were deciding to commit to letting our egos go at that moment. I felt a rush quite different than earlier. I used my mouth to pour onto him my willingness to be tamed. I made my mouth his ring of submission. He came in my mouth for the first time. I felt his submission and his fear of submission released.

“ Come sit your pretty pussy on my face….”

“...Ah.....It’s yours…”

I rose to take my next position, reverse cowgirl.

“...I am cumming in this pussy, slow it down…”

At the same time, I was remembering the dream.

The dream had been manifested.

We folded. I was again; terrified in a petrifying dream. How in the hell was I being ghosted?

Kitten in Heat,

Bree Z. Love @ 2020

Until the next time!!!

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