In Love With An Older Man 2

January 1990

"I keep reminding myself of all the reasons I shouldn't get more seriously involved with you," Gary told Cindy, "but in the end my heart always wins out over my head."

Gary and Cindy were having dinner at Gary's favorite Italian restaurant. The dim lights and soft music added to the romantic atmosphere, and Gary and Cindy were holding hands under the table.

"Well, then, there must be some reason your heart keeps winning out," Cindy laughed. "Maybe we should talk about your 'reasons' one by one and discuss how important they really are."

"First and foremost, of course, is our working relationship. As your boss I feel responsible, especially since I was the one who initiated the whole thing. I can't deny that I do have feelings for you, but I can't help asking myself if it was a mistake to act on those feelings. The bottom line is that I don't want you to be hurt, in your professional life or your personal life. God forbid, but if we continued our relationship and things didn't work out in the long term, would we still be able to work together closely without our feelings getting in the way?"

"I don't want you to be hurt either, Gary. And I'm responsible too because I didn't have to let things get as far as they have. But since they have, how will we be able to work closely together knowing how we feel about each other but afraid to let things progress any further because of the risk that things might not work out later on? To me that would seem terribly awkward."

"I never looked at it quite that way before, but I think you're right, Cindy. That makes a lot of sense to me."

"Okay, let's hear reason number two."

"Our significant age difference. I was graduating high school while you were still learning your ABC's."

"So?"

"Well, doesn't being with me make you feel like you're out with your dad or something?"

"Gary, I don't think I'd ever be able to see you as a father figure even if I wanted to. I see you way too much as a sex object for that."

Gary realized that she was teasing him and burst out laughing. He blushed a little, and Cindy noticed that and was pleased.

"Thanks, Cindy, you just made my day. Seriously, though, there's still the issue of our religious and cultural differences. For instance, which holidays would we celebrate?"

"Why not celebrate all of them? You teach me all about Hanukkah, and I'll teach you my favorite Christmas carols."

Gary chuckled. "That sounds like an awful lot of celebrating."

"So what would be wrong with that?"

"Well, nothing, I guess." Gary grinned sheepishly.

"Gary, your reasons sound more like excuses to me. I know that we shouldn't rush into anything, but if there's something there, and we both know that there is, shouldn't we give it a chance to grow? Otherwise we'll both just have to live the rest of our lives wondering what might have been, and to me that sounds terribly sad."

"I like the way your mind works, Cindy. In fact, I like it an awful lot."

"Do you feel like I just gave you permission to do what you've been wanting to do all along?"

"You know, that's exactly how I feel right now." Gary laughed and gave her a big hug. Then he paid the bill and they walked back to his car.

"Dinner was delicious, Gary. Thank you for taking me out."

"Hey, it was my pleasure. Thank you for going out with me. So, do I just take you home now?"

"As opposed to what?"

"Well, we could go back to my place if you'd like."

"What about Jake and Carly?"

"What about them?"

"Won't they be back home soon?"

"Carly's at a slumber party and Jake's camping with the Boy Scouts."

"You mean..."

"That's right. We'd be completely unsupervised. We could be as naughty as we wanted." He winked at her, and she laughed.

"All right."

At Gary's house they sat on the sofa drinking wine coolers and listening to Kenny G. Gary put his arm around Cindy, and they began kissing.

"Would you like to adjourn to the bedroom? I think we'd be more comfortable in there."

Cindy looked at him in surprise. "What kind of a girl do you take me for, Gary?"

"The kind of girl I want to spend as much time as possible with from now on."

Cindy laughed. "All right."

The following morning found both of them sound asleep in Gary's bed, tangled amongst the sheets and each other's arms and legs. Gary awoke first, and Cindy a few minutes later.

"Well, good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?" He playfully brushed her hair back from her face with his hand.

"I hardly slept at all."

"Me neither. But when I did I dreamed an angel was in bed beside me, and then I woke up and found that my dream had come true."

They both laughed heartily.

"Well, are you hungry? Would you like some breakfast?" he asked her.

"That sounds yummy. What do you have?"

"Anything you want, bacon, eggs, toast..."

"Bacon? How kosher is that?"

Gary laughed. "Well, how kosher are hot dogs?"

Cindy giggled. "You naughty boy. You're going to hell, you know."

"No such place."

"Well, then, what happens to you guys if you're bad?"

"The rabbi leaves a lump of coal in our stocking for Hanukkah."

Gary untangled his naked body from the sheets and got out of bed. He saw Cindy looking at him while trying to look as if she weren't and thought it was endearing. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed her lips.

"Really, Cyn, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine, Gary."

"You know what I mean."

"You mean do I regret it or have second thoughts about it? No I don't, not at all."

"I'm so glad." He kissed her again and turned to go to the kitchen.

"Gary?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, of course. Why shouldn't I be?"

"Well, if I'm okay and you're okay, then that means everything's okay, right?"

He laughed and hugged her tightly. "Everything's fine, Cindy. Just fine."