Her Breath

I laid across from her, watching her laboured breath rise and fall. The stark sheet lay like a fresh canvas between the both of us. My eyes stared into her hollow cheeks and now sallow skin. My mind wondered to all those times when we had been close, but never close enough. All those opportunities, awkward drinks in the pub, not watching the other undress in the gym. All those moments, those terrible drawn out moments that sometimes last an entire lifetime, kept secret in your heart, wrapped up for fear of rejection. Each moment now I waited between her breaths in one two three hold - where are you? who are you ? where are you now? that moment and now each and every one I hold as if it were all our moments tied together in a long swirling kite tail of yesterdays. In the hot springs in Iceland, at the summit of Matchu Pitchu, flying free on the back of your motorbike. I watch as a trickle of sweat forms a small rivulet down the narrow inlet of your back. I want to lick it off. I want to crawl over to you and press my naked body into yours, my breasts absorbing your moisture as a blanket, a cushion as a part of you. I want to lay behind you and cradle your fragility enveloping your fragile form, my fingers softly rubbing your pierced nipples. I want your eyes to open with burning desire even if no words are ever spoken and I am nothing but a dream to you. Yours eyes would flicker softly, slowly bringing me into focus. Cat like and purposeful, you have me. You finally have me and I am all you have ever desired. Holding my gaze, you become the tiger I

desire restlessly.

aware of my body without form. I have become you. Drowning in the pleasure of your eyes adoring the mirror of you and I the

river of our aching pleasure swelling as a dam about to burst.Rhymically deepening our desire wrapped in snatches of

hot breathless kisses

finally I feel your soft, papery skin brush against mine, teasing, not even touching yet hits me like an electric shock. I am everywhere, am power pleasure anticipation and shame. Ricochet's of laughter hit the air like dust. Our thoughts evaporating into a cocoon, a bubble of mirth echoing through a world we have birthed anew. My body now writhing in maddened desire. Touch me touch me , my eyes are pleading yours flicker with the twitch of a wicked smile. Hands grabbing my wrists and holding firm your body now pushed hard against mine. you are both soft and hard and have the power of the elements at your command. I hold time in the palm of my hand aware of no beginning or end. Your fingers grow at my arousal, shaping themselves to envelop my pleasure squeezed tight and yearning explore me explore my stretching hardening morphing skin within folds and folds of

delicious history

each fingertip brushing over the edge of my growing shifting form. Gasping breathless gasping gasping rattling fighting to breathe.

the tube slips out from under your nose as you look at me now awakened with panic in your eyes. the sheet pinning your brittle form like a weighted straight jacket. Back arched in silent struggle against the linen assailant. I rip the sheet from you, My heart, my heart is nothing but a tiny terrified bird its fluttering

wings now ripped and shredded from ceaselessly flying against the bars.

"Help" I yell,

'Somebody help! please' my voice devoid of air, reduced to nothing but

a whisper.

I press the panic button, a team of doctors rush in. Pushing their trolley straight through me. I'm fading, I'm losing sight of her. 'Please live"an almost inaudible whisper escapes my disappearing lips. I look at her one more time, look at the woman I could never

become. The woman I never held or said I love you too. I look at my face on the trolley as it's whisked down the corridoor.......and nothing else. Awaiting the cycle to start anew.