HELP! - I'm a Voyeur and Just Can't Stop!

"I saw you," Mike said, his voice steady. "You were watching me."

I could only stammer out an apology, my voice barely audible.

Mike listened patiently, his expression stern and angry. Then, he spoke.

"I'm calling the police, you know," he said, his voice low and menacing. "You are going in for this right?

I'm staying in a two-story apartment which now looks way too large living in it alone. Once I hoped its rooms would be filled with children, my children, which my husband would give me.

Unfortunately, after we bought the house and spent five years together, we came to realize I was barren.

  At first, this didn't seem to bother my ex-husband much, but as I was wondering on the options of adoption, he was wandering sampling other ladies without my knowledge.

  After we divorced, I got another huge house cradled way too close to my neighbour, and he got a young blonde with a fertile womb.

We've been split for about a year and half now and I just can't seem to bring myself to go dating again.

 My sexual curiosity and my lack of emotional intimacy over the years have made me developed this habit of stealing peeps on especially men, each time I had the sliver of opportunity.

I continued this sinister behaviour though lately, I had found an outlet for my boredom.

My house is tucked so close to the others on my street, I've found myself watching my neighbour Mike.

It started off innocent enough, I would catch a glance of him typing away on his computer, or drifting into a book.

I have never thought of myself as a voyeur though the idea crossed my mind after doing it severally in a beach resort I had a vacation in some time ago.

But now as I'm peeking down into his room, it fully dawned on me that I have become a fully matured voyeur.

I don't know what to think.

  I can't seem to help but watch him as he strips. 

He's not overly muscular, nor obese; he is just an average stalky man with a little overhang. I would like to see what he is packing but I haven't seen it yet.

Time ticks by slowly, but each time I saw his hall light illuminate it creates a thin line across his wall, my heartbeat quickens. I felt nervous and the veins in my neck pump hard beating against my ears with a loud lump.

Mike opens the door and slings off his backpack into his computer chair. He flops onto the bed and looks flustered as he wriggles out of his tie and pulls it free of his neck.

Mike sat up and pulled off his shirt and peeled himself out of his pants, he stood up and exits my view. In an absent minded mode I exited my peeping spot to follow him, convincing myself he won't be able to see me in the darkness of the room, nor would he know to look up at just the right angle to see me.

 He turns towards me as I reach the window, I froze hoping he didn't somehow see me standing there playing with myself. Thankfully as he walked back towards the bed I noticed he was too busy texting to notice me.

The next day went by in a blur, sleep and work, only to end it at the window for a peep at the end of the day.

I found his clothes strewn across his bed. I scolded myself for being too late to devour his nakedness with my eyes, it means tonight I'm left without a treat.

Mike isn't in his room. I know he is home though, because I can see his car in his drive from where I stood.

I walked around my house peering out of my windows in search for him, wondering where he could be. I looked out my kitchen window and didn't see him typing at his usual spot, nor reading in his book nook. I creep into my bathroom to see if I can spot him in his backyard, nothing.

 I almost gave up until I noticed some movement outside my dining room window.

I pulled down the blinds and looked out and scanned the inside of his bathroom, a dark shadow popped up between his window and mine. I blinked away blindness, as a bright flash erupts before me, I released the blind and rubbed my eyes, a sinking feeling began to build in my stomach.

 Was that him? Did he catch me?

Sure enough, a couple of seconds pass and I hear a gentle knock on my back door. I stood in the darkness of my house, fear creeping over me.

 More knocks follow the previous, now they're less gentle and more confident… then demanding. 

I stumbled past my kitchen table and reached for the porch light switch. I pulled the curtain aside and saw Mike standing there in a ray of yellow halogen light.

 "Yesss?" I stuttered.

 "I… need to speak to you, Mrs. Sans," He said nervously.

 "What about?" I said playing coy.

 "I think you know," Mike said, trying to sound stern or appalled

I backed up, allowing him to take a few steps inside.

"You…you've been watching me." He said trying desperately to take his eyes off of my breast.

 "Have I? I said nervously.

 He swallows hard. "I have proof."

 "What proof?" I sid a little antagonistically, to toy with him.

 He stepped back toward the door. "I just took a picture of you and you know I did and I'm calling the cops now!"

 "Oh really, and when they ask you why you were in my backyard what are you gonna say?" I said with a smirk.

 He took another step towards the door. "Ah, I wasn't in your backyard."

 "That's not what I'm gonna tell them,"

"I…I have a video too," Mike stuttered, taking a step forward.

 "What video?" I asked curiously as to what evidence he could possibly have on me.

 "Last week… I saw you watching me undress," he said, his voice gaining a semblance of outrage.

"So a couple of days ago I filmed you." He said raising his phone screen to me.

At first, I couldn't make out anything from the video besides his bedroom walls, but he zoomed his camera through his window and sure enough, I can see myself crouched in the window vigorously playing with myself.

 "What do you call that?" he asked firmly.

 Guess the gig is up or is it?.

 "Surely you don't need to tell anyone what I did," I proclaimed, advancing forward, circling him like a prey, slamming the door closed and causing him to jump a little.

I started slowly begging him to calm down but he didn't back down. He has already dialled the police and rattling his way to them and giving location address.

I was dumb founded, and very shocked, what turned out to be fun and entertaining is now becoming messy, dangerous and embarrassing.

A wave of shock and disgust washed over him.

Mike had always been polite to me, even offering a friendly greeting whenever we crossed paths. But now, he sees me in a completely different light.

He went off the phone after reporting to the police and started screaming, "you are a voyeur, you derive pleasure from watching others without their consent."

I tried to calm him down by bringing him to the corner of my dinning where I could calmly lull his rage, then, suddenly I heard the police siren far down the street, my heart nearly jumped into my mouth.

What would the neighbours say, how would they take me now?

Myself dignity and respect going down the drain in one swoop moment?

I tried for the last time to convince him to alter his narration to the police but he was indifferent.

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my shame and fear. I knew he was right. I had crossed a line, and now I had to face the consequences.