Girls’ Problem After 18 (Only For 18+)

Oh, how wonderful it is to turn eighteen! Cake candles and. . . chaos? Hold on you thought that adulthood was all about independence and Instagram posts? Youre mistaken.

The elephant in the room is the topic of discussion. The one wearing the glitz and shame. When a girl reaches the age of 18 her body and mind suddenly diverge. Who made the decision? Imagine this. Her birthday candles are blown out by a girl. Whoa!

Shes grown up. The kicker though is this. She is experiencing a lot of new emotions. She didnt request any urging. She cannot describe love. A rollercoaster of a romantic relationship. And sex?

No! She is given a rulebook by society that is more comprehensive than a dictionary. Enjoy your freedom but not too much. Why? Now lets be honest. Women are not machines. They are a people.

At 18 their bodies exclaim Lets live! as the outside world mutters Sit down. . They are instructed to explore while remaining pure. . To want love but stay away from mistakes. .

To desire sex but keep it to themselves. Talk about conflicting signals! Without a map how is anyone expected to find their way through that maze? The problem is this. A calendar change doesn’t mean that sexual cravings go away. They get louder. More powerful.

It is more unclear. The daily tug-of-war is just like when someone says You’ll get fat! While you are craving chocolate cake. Feeling wanted is what a girl wants. To both touch and be touched. All movements however feel monitored. Judged.

Examined closely. She was signed up for this game by whom? Love — don’t even begin. Love feels like a wildfire at the age of 18. Unstoppable. All-consuming. However, society casts doubt on it.

Are you sure? Is he the one? What if he breaks your heart? Girls are advised to protect their hearts like Fort Knox. Hearts aren’t vaults, however. They are disorganized. They get bruises.

They are cured. Why are they unable to feel? Ready for some eye rolls? Romance? Fairy tales are marketed in films. Soulmates are promised by books. What are we?

texts ghosting and swiping left are all part of real life. Dinners by candlelight are a girls dream. Rather she receives half-hearted hugs and a variety of emojis. Is asking for clarity — or at least a good date who doesnt check his phone during a conversation — too much to ask? Intercourse. The big S-word. The ultimate taboo.

Girls who want it are shamed. I’m ashamed to possess it. I feel bad about not having it. They’ll be damned if they do and damned if they don’t. There are two things they are told: Don’t be a prude and Wait for marriage! Which is it?

Although everyone has an opinion their bodies belong to them. When were strangers granted the right to vote? Remembering safety is important. When a girl indulges her desires she is suddenly held accountable for everyones behavior. Avoid wearing that attire. Dont go there on foot. Avoid consuming that.

Why does she always bear the burden? Boys are greeted with high fives. Girls are given side-eye. When did acquiring a uterus entails committing to lifelong cautionary tapes? The irony oh. Youth are sexualized by society. Then penalizes them for their sexual behavior.

Everything shouts Be sexy! — magazines movies ads — but the moment a girl gets it she’s too much… Who created these rules — a clown committee? This is a crazy concept. What if girls were given the freedom to breathe and make their own decisions? Accept their desires.

Acquire knowledge based on errors. Absent a chorus of I told you so. Theyre eighteen not eight. They have the ability to vote. Drive. Execute contracts. But investigating their bodies?

Is that really where we draw the line? Lets discuss remedies. instruction. Not the rigid fear-mongering type. Actual conversation. frank discussions. Avoid blushing.

Not using any jargon. The facts, please. Girls must understand that their bodies are not a threat. An urge is not a sin. There is no trap in love. Sexual activity is not a scorecard. Power comes from being knowledgeable.

Why therefore are we keeping it locked? Systems of support are important. Listening, friends. Parents who remain calm. Partners who value no just as highly as yes… It shouldn’t be necessary for a girl to choose between shame and silence.

She is entitled to secure areas. to pose inquiries. saying I dont understand. . To cry laugh and work it out — without the hashtag #AdultingFail attached. . Limits.

The unsung hero. A girl must understand that saying stop is acceptable and guilt-free. I’m not ready is not a sign of strength. That her body count is not a measure of her value. Boundaries are not walls. They serve as links to dignity. Unfortunately, that is not taught in schools.

Not to be overlooked is mental health. Fighting emotions and cravings is draining. Smile through it society advises. However, girls are not puppets. They require space to express their anger. Fearful. Im overwhelmed.

Saying This is hard without coming across as dramatic… When did it become illegal to be human? Listen, boys. This is not a one-man show. Girls are not problem-solving objects. They have a relationship.

Equivalents. Be kind to them. Pay attention. Discover. Be proactive. It is not a script for romance. A dance is being performed.

Additionally, both must be aware of the steps. Notes parents. There is no project in your daughter. She is a person. Address her rather than at her. Express your worries but have faith in her. Shell make a mistake.

Likewise, you did. Even so, love her. In this way, she comes to love herself. This is your motivational speech girls. You have the right to desire. To sense. to investigate.

Your body belongs to you. You have choices. Leave the noise alone. You dont fit any stereotypes. A number. A cautionary story. You are a human.

defective. fierce. Wonderful. Take ownership of it. Hold on — wait. No we didnt just solve the problem. However we only scratched the surface.

The rest is up to you. The world won’t change in a day. However, any girl who asserts herself establishes limits or declares This is me erodes the wall. So keep chipping. One last thing. Being eighteen is not the end. The beginning is messy noisy and lovely.

Fixing girls is not an issue. They are powerful forces to be considered. So lets give up control. Begin to applaud. The future appears bright. Additionally it has glitter on. Well are you still here?

Proceed to distribute this to a person in need. Or refrain from doing so.

However, if you do perhaps we will finally stop discussing the important issues in whispers.

I mean a girl can dream?