Don’t Be A D*ck. Be a Pussy.

Supple, soft and self sufficient. With the right care; hydrated and alert.

I can just hear Bruce lee’s voice as I imagine what alternative advice he would give me if I asked him of which genitalia I should embody in life. If you don’t get that reference. Just youtube Bruce Lee ‘Be Water.’ I’ve got more important things to explain.

Like, why I’m even writing this article. Well, as a young(ish) woman about to give birth to her first human. I have marvelled at the fact that my God-given temple has taken two halves to make a whole. AND THEN, taken that whole cell and incubated it into an enterprise of organs and limbs and potential for world shifting thoughts. All without my conscious getting involved.

*Que Beyonce - Upgrade You.

I hit a wall when I tried to understand why its used in such a derogatory way.

You often hear, maybe in the neglected estates of Lewisham, a horde of so called ‘roadman’ in uniformed grey trackies, denouncing someone as a ‘pussy’. Like thats a bad thing.

Lets rewind. A young man is calling another young man a body part, that neither of them could exist without and meaning it as an insult. Make sense?

Yeah, I’m right there with you. So my quarantined brain broke it down further.

What is the benefit of being a DICK?

- They have two functions; Waste removal and…seed planting [from the same hole mind you, not very sanitary]

- They do a lot of work for momentary pleasure

- Not flexible when hard

- Not useful to others when soft

- Can’t carry any weight other than its own

- Very Limited in growth potential in comparison to a Pussy.

- Vulnerable to any ‘flying foot’ of circumstance that can come its way.

Living as a dick sounds to me like an employee in a dead end job working for a pussy, and working so hard for the momentary relief of a monthly check which disappears quickly.

The Dick comes up with a lot, and I mean a LOT of excellent ideas, but can’t execute any of them.

There isn’t much of a career progression and its not helped by their inability to focus sometimes, and like the wind they are often alerted in two many directions at once.

[Non-Corona cough*]

While on the other hand

A Pussy is…

- Useful when soft and ‘powerful’ when they choose to grip [Am I right fellas?]

- Able to experience limitless fruits of pleasure during and well after the work is done. A gift that keeps on giving

- Don’t have to do the most to get the most [Sorry guys]

- A giver and a receiver and can do both at the same time. [You welcome]

- Invulnerable to random going-ons of the world unless ‘let in’

- Multi Sensory

- Much higher growth potential, up to 10 x original size

- Can carry up to 10 lbs of weight, more in some cases.

- Self cleaning machine

- It functions as a seed grower, and when all goes well. Whatever it produces has a lifespan of up to 80-90 years.

This makes me think all successful people are pussies!

Think about it, this sounds like a successful business mogul nested in the fruits of their growths and investments. Everything they produce can potentially last a lifetime.

They get others to do MOST of the work, arousing them to do so.

Inspiring other to provide the ideas and some of the resources while they bring it to life.

Like a flexible investor able to adapt to any shape of the economy, sensitive to the queues of life.

I’m sorry, but in that context would you really want to be a dick? I mean sure a pussy goes through trauma on a monthly basis but don’t all successful people have a ‘period’ in their rags to riches story, where things were crampy… I mean crappy and painful? And isn’t it later for the greater good?

Being a pussy has far less limitations and far more potential than being a dick. Not sure where the negative connotations of being a pussy came from but by no means are they valid if you base it on the actual organ, in my humble opinion.

If you want success in life, be flexible, be fruitful, be capable of growth which could mean learning to take an idea and make it a reality!

In short. Be a Pussy!

So if I see you, living the life you want, driving the car of your dreams just being all round ‘juicy’ in lifestyle. I’m going to lift my champaign glass of lemonade, nod my head with great pride and say.

“You’re a pussy”

Please know that I just paid you the greatest compliment there is.

Sidenote:

By the way, although there were frequent and bias comparisons of genitalia. This was not a male bashing, anti-dick article in the slightest. It’s all about the analogy.

To be honest. I can say there are a lot of men who are great pussies; Bill Gates, Jay Z…heck even Obama is Grade A quality pussy. And there are women who are dicks like Kate Hopsheepskins or whoever started brexit.

Trump is an example of a limp DICK! [Not true, I apologise to all dicks in the world]

That was not needed to be said but I felt better typing it. Point is, it’s got nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with character.

Dicks are great. I’m just saying, if I had to choose…I’d be a pussy.

Thank you for coming to my TED TALK

Victory Black