Dominatrix Sex Positions & BDSM Tools Guide
Explore dominatrix sex positions, toys, outfits, and tips. Discover how to find a domme and dive into BDSM play safely and confidently.
1. What Is a Dominatrix?
A dominatrix is typically a woman who assumes the dominant role in BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism) settings. Rather than focusing on traditional sex, the dominatrix orchestrates power-based encounters that emphasize submission, control, pain, teasing, and psychological dominance.
Sessions with a dominatrix can involve anything from spanking and pegging to verbal humiliation and forced obedience. These activities are 100% consensual, and boundaries are clearly negotiated before any play begins.
The role of a dominatrix can be sensual, strict, cruel, seductive, or all of the above. Her power lies in how she makes the submissive feel owned, controlled, and transformed.
2. The Psychology of Submission
For many submissives, BDSM is not merely a kink, it is a mental unburdening. It is a way to release yourself from responsibilities, decision making, stress; to submit to the dominatrix is to afford yourself freedom from power, from control and an opportunity to engage with the erotic in a way that is palatable to those accustomed to a controlled lifestyle.
Some of the key psychological triggers include:
- Power dynamics: Being dominated provides immense intimacy.
- Pleasure/pain dynamic: Pain releases endorphins that create a feeling of being 'high'.
- Validation: Many subs receive pleasure after being trained, praised, or...humiliated.
- Control fantasy: When a partner relinquishes control to a keyholder, it creates immense trust, no matter how temporary.
When a submissive kneels at the feet of their dominatrix, it's not about weakness—it's about strength, vulnerability, and erotic exploration.
3. Best Dominatrix Sex Positions (With Descriptions)
In sexual undertakings as dominatrix play, sex positions focus less on mutual pleasure and more on the elements of control, access, and vulnerability. The aforementioned sexual postures help reinforce the power dynamic of dominance and submission.
Kneeling Submission
- The submissive is kneeling, eyes down, and their hands are either in the small of their back or behind their head.
- This position can be used for training, praise, or for degradation.
- Submissives are in this position quite a bit and in conjunction with collaring or as an extra component of verbal control.
Over the Knee (OTK) Spanking
- The submissive is draped over the Mistress's lap.
- This is used for punishment or a discipline, but you can self-impose this position to instigate arousal.
- It does create an opportunity for physical closeness while reinforcing mental authority.
Face Down, Ass Up (FDAU)
- Submissive lies face-down with hips raised.
- Ideal for spanking, pegging, or impact play.
- Restrains access while maximizing exposure.
Throne Position
- Submissive kneels or sits at the Mistress's feet.
- Can be used for boot licking, foot worship, or human furniture play.
Standing Restraint
- Arms tied above head; can be suspended or spread against a frame.
- Great for sensory deprivation, teasing, or flogging.
Spread Eagle (Bed or Cross)
- The submissive's arms and legs were tied wide apart.
- Enhances vulnerability and encourages objectification.
Doggy Style (Pegging)
- Submissive on all fours.
- Dominatrix uses a strap-on to penetrate from behind.
- Reverses power roles and is often deeply symbolic for submissive men.
Hogtie
- Wrists and ankles bound behind the back.
- Leaves submissive fully helpless and immobile.
The Worship Position
- The submissive lies on their back as the dominatrix sits on their chest or face.
- Used for face-sitting, boot worship, or even breath control in advanced play.
Bound Legs-Up
- Legs tied to bondage bars or suspended.
- Opens the body for teasing, penetration, or control.
Suspension Play
- The submissive is suspended using ropes or harnesses.
- Physically advanced and visually stunning; ideal for public or performance scenes.
Chair Ties
- Tied to a chair, usually with arms restrained behind or to the legs.
- Great for eye contact, face slapping, nipple play, or sensation denial.
These positions enhance feelings of powerlessness and heighten erotic tension. For safety, use appropriate padding and always maintain communication throughout.
4. BDSM Toys and Accessories Explained
A dominatrix's toolbox is not just for physical control—it also shapes the submissive's emotional journey.
Restraints
- Leather Cuffs: Padded to provide comfort but at the same time it is firm enough for control.
- Velcro Ties: Quick-release for beginners.
- Rope (Shibari): Intricate Japanese bondage art, often decorative.
- Spreader Bars: Keep legs or arms apart to restrict movement.
- Humbler: A device that restrains the testicles behind the legs, forcing a bent-over position.
Impact Tools
- Floggers: Multiple soft or firm tails for rhythmic strikes.
- Canes: Thin and intense—best for experienced subs.
- Paddles: Flat surface; some have holes for added sting.
- Whips: For precise, theatrical strikes.
- Slappers: Smaller and louder, used for attention-grabbing strikes.
Sensory Tools
- Nipple Clamps: Adjustable pressure; some vibrate or have weights.
- Pinwheels: Spiky wheels rolled over skin to heighten sensation.
- Blindfolds: Removes visual input, enhancing other senses.
- Feathers/Ice/Wax: For teasing, temperature play, and sensory shock.
Penetrative Tools
- Strap-ons: Used during pegging or feminization.
- Dildos/Vibrators: For control or enforced orgasms.
- Anal Hooks: Advanced insertables attached to rope or harnesses.
- Chastity Cages: Prevent erections and enforce long-term control.
Control Items
- Gags: Silence the submissive—ball, bit, or ring types.
- Collars and Leashes: Show ownership.
- Training Bells: For conditioning responses.
- Pet Masks/Tails: Used in pet play for full role immersion.
5. Clothing and Appearance of a Dominatrix (Expanded)
A dominatrix's wardrobe is as powerful as her presence. The outfit sets the tone and commands immediate respect.
Latex or PVC Catsuits
- Skin-tight with a reflective sheen.
- Often zippered front or back, emphasizing curves and tension.
- Squeaky, clingy, and intimidating—creates a visual of perfection and untouchability.
Leather Corsets
- Laced tightly to create an exaggerated hourglass shape.
- Accentuates authority and posture.
- It is often paired with leather gloves and chokers.
Thigh-High Boots
- Often 6-inch heels or platforms.
- Patent leather or shiny PVC materials.
- Designed to tower over submissives, enhancing psychological dominance.
Military or Officer Uniforms
- Structured jackets with epaulettes, brass buttons, and sashes.
- Project control, order, and command.
- Often styled with a cap, riding crop, or belt harness.
Gloves
- Long leather gloves up to the elbows signal control and precision.
- Latex gloves for medical scenes or interrogation.
Fishnet Bodysuits or Lingerie
- Used in erotic settings or teasing scenes.
- May be worn under harsher outerwear for a surprise strip.
Masks or Eye-Covering Hoods
- Add mystery, anonymity, or objectification.
- Black-out lenses or full-face masks limit eye contact to increase submission.
6. Popular Dominatrix Roleplays
Roleplay deepens the psychological aspect of BDSM and brings fantasies to life. Some common themes include:
- Slave Training: It's about obedience, patience, and discipline.
- Medical Play: One partner takes the role of the doctor or nurse - the one providing invasive examinations.
- Teacher and/or Student: The domme punishes the obedient one for misbehavior.
- Interrogation Play: It involves "extracting" confessions by threats or teasing.
- Pet Play: Submissive- acts as pet and wears a tail plug or collar.
- Financial Domination (Findom): The Submissive pays tribute for attention.
- Celebrity or Authority Figures: Boss, queen, or police roles.
- Forced Feminization: Dressing male submissives in lingerie or makeup.
Each scene is structured around fantasy but rooted in trust and consent.
7. Safety Tips for Dominatrix Play
- Safe Word: Always agreed before play. Common words: Red, Yellow.
- Check-In: Both before and after scenes. Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety.
- Start Slowly: Especially with spanking, pegging, or restraints.
- Education: Read about anatomy, safe words, and bondage best practices.
- Aftercare: A warm blanket, cuddling, and affirmations post-play are essential.
8. Where to Find a Dominatrix (Expanded)
Finding a dominatrix involves patience, respect, and honest communication. One of the top platforms to contact a dominatrix is Locanto. When it comes to finding a dominatrix, discretion, variety, and authenticity matter—and that's exactly what Locanto delivers. As a widely used adult classifieds platform, Locanto offers a safe and anonymous environment where real dominatrix professionals list their services. Unlike overly commercial websites filled with spam or fake profiles, Locanto is known for its organic, local listings that connect people directly. No matter the type of disciplinarian, sensual domme, or fun mistress you seek, Locanto provides profile pictures along with full disclosures, preferences, and expectations. Most importantly, you are in control of who you reach out to and how, and Locanto, from tribute based sessions or one time fantasy, can help you find the experience you desire—without judgment, without pressure, on your own terms!
Reaching Out — What to Say and Avoid
What can be said:
- "Hello Mistress [Name], I admire your profile and would love to serve you."
- I am a respectful, obedient submissive looking to explore [insert specific kink]. Can I respectfully ask about a session?
- I have some experience bondage and spanking but I am new to pegging. Are you open to a beginner?
What can not be said:
- "Hey sexy, you available?"
- "How much for everything?"
- "Can I f*** you raw?"
These phrases are disrespectful and will almost always lead to being ignored or blocked.
Tips for Contacting a Dominatrix
- Be Polite and Formal: Use honorifics like Mistress, Goddess, or Ma'am.
- State Your Experience Level: Are you a total beginner or trained sub?
- Be Honest About Limits: Do not pretend to like something just to impress.
- Offer Tribute: Most professional dominatrixes expect payment. Asking for free sessions is disrespectful.
- Avoid Over-Sharing: Do not send explicit pictures or long fantasy emails unless invited.
Approaching a dominatrix respectfully shows that you are serious, safe, and worthy of her time.
9. Your Journey into Submission is About to Begin
The dominatrix experience is about more than kink—it is about trust, control, transformation, and erotic power. From bows in submission through to tied to a cross every moment is created to shift the power from the submissive to the Mistress.
With the proper implements of play, toys, clothing, and postures you can take a sensual, psychological journey into the world of dominance and submission. From firm control to teasing torture, the dominatrix decides where you are.
Are you ready to release your submissive side? Start your journey on Locanto, where real dominatrix experiences await.




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