Diary of a Rubber Doll

Day 5

If I could groan I would.... waking up strapped to the table after it felt so good to have the short freedom... When had tha been? Hours ago? Days ago? I have no way to track time anymore.... My body still ached from the powerful orgasm that rendered me unconcious. My calves throbbed from being forced to walk in the heels that were far too high for my liking.

No matter how hard I tried I could hear nothing or see anything except blackness. This is how that girl in the movie must have felt, deaf, dumb and blind... although she did speak eventually and I never would again....

My mind was trying to come to terms with the changes they had made to me, trying to accept them but anger still consumed me. How could they do this and get away with it? I never consented to this! But I had written about my darkest fantasies in a private diary and it seemed now that these were not only occuring but going far past anything I had even imagined....

Permanent... The changes were forever... How could that even be? I had no idea we even had this type of medical knowledge let alone the technology to make it happen...

My thoughts went to my body and began focusing again on each individual area. My head felt strange, no hair. I would be bald forever now. I could feel the ears he had spoke of and tried to focus just on them. I wondered what they looked like. He had said I was now a cat... Did I have whiskers too? My thoughts went to my cheeks and I moved my facial muscles to examine what I could with my limited abilities.

I felt nothing there, much to my disappointment. All I could feel was that horrid gag that refused to budge. I wanted to spit it at the people who had done this to me. I wanted to claw their eyes out but then sighed as I remembered I no longer have fingers.

I tried to wriggle the stubs and found they did move somewhat. They felt strange and foreign, as if they weren't even a part of me. I could feel the heavy padding that had been added and wondered what it looked like. Did it really look like a cat's toe beans? I love cats and have always thought their toe beans were the cutest little things. Would mine be cute or hideous?

Every breath I took drove tingles through my breasts, ones I did not want but could do nothing about. I tried to shift but the straps held me firm in place. I hated the bonds, the helplessness of this entire situation. But, deep inside of me, a part of me wanted this and what they were doing to me.

I wasn't sure who I hated most.... these people for what they had done to me.... or myself for enjoying it on some dark level....

"Lucy, wake up," the male voice spoke softly inside of my head. "It is time to begin for the day."

Warm hands began stroking me and the table moved from a laying position to a more upright one. Warm liquid began flowing into my mouth and I wanted to gag. What I would give for real food! It's amazing what people take for granted, I thought as I tried to pretend the liquid was a good country style breakfast. No amount of imagination could make that nasty liquid taste like real food though. If I could have gagged I would have.

"Today you will practice walking more. This time it will be a little different. Your caretaker will assist you after you have had your relief," the voice droned. It sounded so computerized, inhuman.

The warm hands touched my crotch and a sudden rush left my bladder. I could feel myself sigh with relief as it emptied. Those same hands hooked up the enema and that process went as it had the last few times. It was becoming a routine now, one I wasn't sure I liked but had no control over.

Once that was done the warm hands began removing the straps that had held me firm. The hands helped me to a standing position and the rush to my head caused me a brief moment of lightheadedness. I felt the hands attach what I now assumed was a leash to the front of my neck. A collar I would never be able to take off I reminded myself.

"Your caretaker is going to walk you to the exercise chamber where you will walk and get accustomed to the heels. This will be a daily process until your legs are strong enough to handle the ballet heels we have made for you," the voice explained as I felt a gentle tug on the collar.

I carefully took a step and felt the toys within me shift. I knew I had to obey though and walked very slowly. It would be so much easier if they would allow me to see though. I wondered when I would be given my sight, if for nothing else just to see what they have done to me.

Each step was pure torture as the toys moved and shifted within me. Thankfully they had not been activated, yet. The leash tugged at my collar as I walked slowly, not wishing to cause myself more torment than needed. I tried to ignore them, focus on my feet and each step I took but it was impossible. The wetness between my legs began seeping down my thighs.

Did they see my shame? I did not want them to even think I enjoyed what was happening to me. I wanted them to think I hated it! But my body constantly betrayed me. No matter how I wanted to convince them I hated what was happening, my body refused to cooperate and gave in to the pleasure....

We paused at what I assumed had to be a doorway and then went inside. The air was a little coller in here and I felt goosebumbs rise on my flesh... Well, it wasn't real flesh anymore so had did they accomplish the ability to make goosebumps? I wanted to touch them in amazement then remembered I have no fingers....

The caretaker lead me across the room and to something that felt very strange. Again, I wish I could have seen it because this device was like nothing I had ever felt before. My hips were against a bar and my waist had been fitted with a large belt that the caretaker carefully buckled very tightly. The caretaker's hands made sure I was positioned right, with my back straight and then secured the leash to something in front of me. They also attached something to the back of the waist and collar. I was forced to stand perfectly straight in this machine.

"In a moment the machine will begin moving, Lucy. Do not panic, just walk with it." The voice said and I slowly nodded that I understood. "It will run for ten minute intervals with a ten minute rest."

It must have been comparable to a treadmill I thought as the machine came to life, tugging at my collar and waist. I walked with it, although it was moving faster than I wanted to. I was so thankful the toys had not yet been activated. I was not sure how long I would be able to endure this if they had been.

Each step was purposeful I did not wish to fall. Every step drove the toys deeper and shifted them within me. The bar through my nipples moved and tugged as I walked. The wetness began dripping down my thighs and I wanted to hide it, wipe it away but somehow I knew this was exactly what they wanted.

"Now a brief rest," the voice spoke and the machine stopped. It had not seemed like ten minutes... I took deep breaths to relax and try to prepare for whatever they had in store for me next. The voice had not said how long I would be walking though....

The machine began moving again and startled me. I had been lost in my thoughts and nearly tripped. My behind was firmly struck with something that stung, making me immediately move forward. The memory of the punishment before filled my thoughts as I forced myself to walk with this strange machine.

Music filled my thoughts as I walked, not that I would ever hear any again.... In my head I could be anywhere except here as long as those wretched toys didn't come on... I walked and tried to ignore the toys within me... The machine seemed to move faster, not too much faster but just enough to make me have to walk faster...

"Very good, Lucy!" The voice complimented as the machine stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief that I had avoided punishment. I did not wish to please them, but at the same time I did not wish any more punishm,ent either... It was a wicked two edged sword for sure.

My calves ached as the heels worked them out. During this short break the caretaker strapped something to my ankles. I lifted each leg carefully to try to figure out just what had been strapped around my ankles. Much to my horror I realized the caretaker had strapped some weights around my ankles. I would have groaned in protest but I would never again make a sound...

I had lost count of how many times the machine had made me walk. The weights made my calves burn and throb as I walked and tried to forget that I was here. In my mind I tried to imagine being on a beach with the sun warming my body as I lie on a blanket in the sand.

"Now Lucy, let's see just how well you can walk," the voice said as the dildo in my pussy began fucking me. It did not enlarge, but the sudden motion distracted me and I misstepped. My backside received a sharp strike and I jumped. I forced my feet to move as the dildo was tormenting me and I tried to free my arms I wanted to free myself of this torture. Another strike on my backside, this one hurt far worse so I stopped struggling and tried to distract myself, not think about the dildo and just focus on my feet, one step two steps and so on.

Every step I took was sheer torture as my juices flowed down my thighs. The caretaker did not try to wipe it away so my shame was on display for anyone who looked. I wondered if my cheeks blushed, had they noticed? The machine stopped but the dildo did not. Each breath tugged at my nipples and the toy was driving me close to orgasm. When the machine started again I walked, although I wanted to drop to my knees and beg for this to stop.

How many times had this gone on? How much longer would it? My calves were nearly on fire and the pain was a pleasant distraction from the toy within me. I tried to focus only on my calves and forget that the dildo was tormenting me, but the more I walked the faster the juices flowed.

"Very, very good Lucy!" The voice exclaimed and the anal toy began inflating. I struggled in protest and received a strong swat that caused my leg to flinch as the machine began again.

My head shook from side to side as I walked. Both toys were too much to bear as I tried to walk and remain on my feet when all I wanted to do was collapse. I wanted to beg and plead but was helpless to do so. The anal lug had reached half way and stopped much to my relief and the dildo kept fucking my pussy as I tried to concentrate on walking. I forced my feet to move, to step and not stop.

"I am well pleased Lucy. You have performed far better than I anticipated. For this I have a small surprise," the voice said. Just then the world went bright and I was literally blinded by light when the machine stopped.

The toys within me kept up their torment as I tried to focus my eyes. How long had it been since I had seen anything? I couldn't even blink I tried to and then I remembered he said they had taken my eyelids.... I looked forward as my eyes finally began to focus and the scene before me made me want to scream.

A mirror was before me and I could see what they had done to me. As I stared the machine began moving again and I was forced to watch myself walk and be tortured. The juices flowed so heavily now I could feel them at my ankles. I stared at myself, knowing it could be some time before I would see it again....

I was a hideous, yet beautiful creature. The perfect fuck dool, so to speak and here I was being tortured for who knew what purpose. I looked myself up and down as the machine forced me to walk and the toys nearly drove me to orgasm. I forced myself to concentrate and examine the monster I saw in the mirror.

My breasts were much larger and I could see both piercings. A rod ran through both breasts and I could see how it tugged with every breath. My skin looked foreign, like rubber. It was a pinkish flesh color that made me look almost nude. But it looked unnatural and alien. My feet were hostage in heels that had to be five inches high. Without thinking I tried to wiggle my toes then realized I didn't have any, they had taken those too.

The machine stopped and I stared at my own face, or should I say the strange face that was now my own. The toys continued tormenting me but I stared and wanted to see it all before they took my vision again.

The face looked repulsive to me. I could see the gag and what they had done to my beautiful lips. Something round was inside of my lips now making it nto a perfect circle. The gag had a small hole in it and I knew that was how they force fed me. My eyes were so different, not my own looking back at me. Green cat eyes with the vertical pupil reflected in the mirror and as the gag began fucking my mouth I saw the pupils react in the mirror. I tossed my head from side to side as the machine began moving again.

All of it was too much for me to bear. The dildo in my mouth shoved itself repeatedly down my throat making it impossible for me to focus on anything. The dildo in my pussy enlarged and fucked me faster, and harder.... the anal plug also began fucking me and inflating.... My juices flowed and drool ran from my mouth.

I hated it and loved it at the same time. Walking became difficult and for every step I hesitated with my backside was struck hard. I wanted to drop to my knees and give in but I fought all of the stimulation the best i could. Which wasn't very well at all as the orgasm began to overtake me.

The machine stopped but the toys did not and I stared in the mirror, into the eyes that I hated...I tried to stand still but found it impossible. I moved against the bonds that held me to the machine and was met with a strike on my backside every time. Each strike only drove me higher. I lifted my feet one at a time in protest as the machine began again.

Would I be able to complete this round? I tried because I was determined not to give in this time... I wanted to show them I could control myself, that they could not control every aspect. I wanted to prove to myself most of all that I still had some semblance of control over something.....

I was so wrong...

The orgasm ripped through me, wracking my body causing me to shudder and drop, but the waist belt held me firmly in place. As the orgasm tore through me I saw in the mirror how the cat eyes reacted.... but the machine stopped.... straps were attached to my ankles and the machine started again! My feet were forced to walk as the orgasm washed over me in wave after wave...

The toys drove me over the edge and I would have screamed if I could have. I tried to expel all of the toys but they held where they were and tortured me without mercy. My pussy throbbed as I was forced to keep walking.... This time the machine did not stop for a break.....

Please! Stop I can't keep doing this! I wanted to scream as my pussy kept throbbing and the juices flooded from me. The gag thrust itself deep into my throat and stayed there... The dildo in my pussy suddenly went huge, deep and firm and did not move it began throbbing just like a real cock that had reacted the point of cumming.... But the machine did not stop....

I tossed my head from side to side trying to remove the gag as the orgasm finally froze my legs.... The machine stopped and my legs gave out.... Please I tried to cry out and they toys would not stop.... I now wished I was still blind I did not want to see myself humiliated like this.... I tried to look away only to realize I was surrounded by mirrors...

The dildo in my pussy began moving and growing even larger. I would have hit my knees if the waist belt had not held me in place. I watched as the caretaker began striking my breasts with a riding crop and tried to move to avboid the strikes. Each little swat was more than I could bear and the orgasm took me to a place I feared and loved.

My thoughts melted and nothing else existed except the pleasure... My body wracked and throbed but the torment did not stop... Wave after wave took me deeper and all I wanted was free. I felt as if I might drown but it did not stop. Swat after swat on my breasts until they burned and I just wanted relief, to be free...

The crop began swatting my behind again, each strike harder than the last and I could do nothing but stare at myself in the mirror and watch it happen. Why had I not pssed out yet? WWhy was this continuing for so long? My feet betrayed me and found footing. When they did the machine moved again and I tried to scream as my body kept throbbing and tensing.

Bright spots appeared before my eyes as the crop struck me so hard I knew it would bruise. Each step the crop struck my backside or my breasts and my pussy was working the toy within me no matter how hard I fought it. I mentally fought to keep above the waves of pleasure but I was quickly losing that fight....

No matter how hard I tugged at my arms they would not come free to help me... How much longer would they torture me this way? I could feel sweat forming all over my body and wondered briefly how they were able to accomplish this... The machine forced me to keep walking and nothing I could do would stop my body from responding to the pleasure and torment it was enduring.

It seemed to last forever and when I was profusely sweating and convinced I would pass out everything stopped. The toys within me all relaxed and my body shuddered in relief. The caretaker removed the straps to my collar and the waist belt. The warm hands carefully moved me to the floor because I could no longer stand on my own two feet.

As the caretaker attached a hose to my gag, I lie on the floor barely hanging on to reality. When the gag began fucking my mouth to deliver water I passed out.... My eyes were wide open but reality was gone in that very moment...

I cannot recall how many days this went on, but it seemed like years. When I woke after the first day my legs ached so badly that I wanted to beg for a break, but I also knew that I would not get one. They left my vision, even in sleep my eyes were open and seeing.... I cannot decide if this is a good thing or a sick punishment....

Til next time dear diary.... So much to tell you that I cannot wait...