Confusion

CONFUSION: LISA

I was just coming in off the red eye from Chicago after closing some business deals, and I was exhausted. I was so tired that I left my laptop in the overhead bin. Thankfully I knew the pilot personally, so I called him as I was walking in the door to my house.

I listened to his phone ring as I looked through some mail.

"Hey Ms. Lisa. I hope you enjoyed your flight."

"Well what can I say? First class with your aircraft never disappoints. Thank you as always Kevin"

Kevin was a man with whom I shared many firsts. He was the first man I ever said I love you to. He was the first man I had ever slept with. He was also the first man to ever break my heart. He came in real smooth and swept me off my feet with angelic sweet nothings he so easily whispered in my ear. I lapped it up, drinking it in, believing every single drop. Until I caught him in bed with my best friend. I spiraled after that, trying to fight my way out of the rage that I felt towards the person I loved beyond life. It's a battle I wouldn't wish on any woman. Still, no matter how much time has passed, I could still feel his imprint on my soul. I thought that was a pain I would never find my way out of. That is, until I met Mark.

"Lisa? Lisa are you there?"

I quickly snapped back to reality, remembering my forgotten laptop.

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry. I was just bringing my stuff in. Hey, I forgot my laptop on the plane." I kicked my shoes off by the door. "Is there any way you could grab it for me?"

"Actually, I already have it. One of the flight attendants recognized it as yours and handed it to me. I can drop it off once I wrap things up here if you would like."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, that would be great. I am beyond exhausted so chances are I will be asleep. If I leave the door open, can you just leave it the hallway?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Anything for you Mi Amor."

I blushed; he knew I was a sucker for Spanish. Sometimes I missed him calling me that. He knew I felt that way, and he preyed on that weakness any chance he got.

"Can I stay?" he asked seductively.

"NOO-O-O-O-O-OOOOOO Kevin, you kn-", before I could finish telling him it would never happen, Mark was beeping in on my other line. "Sorry Kevin but I have to go. Can you just leave my laptop on the hall table like we discussed? Thanks." I clicked over to Mark, as I lit up with excitement. As always, he was just what I needed.

"Hey baby" I said breathless, giddy as a teenager.

"Hello sweetheart. How was your trip?"

"The usual. All work and no play. How was your vacation?"

"It wasn't too bad", he replied. "I had to rush back because I realized I had forgotten something."

Forgotten something? I thought that to be unlikely. "Forgotten something like what?"

I could hear him chuckling softly. "Something like you baby. I am so sorry. I have no clue what I was thinking. I never should have planned a trip to Jamaica that you were not a part of baby. I'm sorry if that hurt you in any way."

I smiled, thinking of all the times we talked about Jamaica. Deciding that when we were married, it would be our honeymoon destination. However, marriage had not yet happened for us.

"Listen Lisa, I know the road has been rocky for us lately, but I want to be with you. These past few days in solitude have given me so much clarity. I don't want to live in a world that you are not a constant part of. I know I've messed up in the past, but I am willing to do anything and everything I have to do to keep you in my life."

I loved Mark with a passion that I could never put into words. We had instant chemistry ever since our eyes locked one day at Starbucks. I would do anything in the world for him. Like most couples, we had our problems. His cheating being our biggest hurdle.

"Come to me", I told him. Instantly accepting his apology. "Now."

"I have a few stops to make and then I'll be there baby."

Being as seductive as possible I whispered, "Hurry, I'll wait up for you."

I hung up the phone and took off running for the shower, straightening up as I went. I washed the past six hours of plane flight off me and then had Siri play Tank as I got ready. I slipped into my sexiest negligee and poured myself a drink. Time passed, and before I knew it, I was on drink number three. I'm a light drinker so the drinks kicked in pretty fast. I looked at the time, it was after midnight. When I talked to Mark it was around 9. Just as I was beginning to think he wasn't going to show, he texts me saying he was on the way. Just in time, because the liquor had kicked in, and I was feeling good and smelling even better. I started texting my friends about our plans for the next day and felt I was about to pass out, so I laid across the bed on my stomach, closed my eyes. We had not been together in almost four months; my body was basically screaming his name. Time kept ticking....10 minutes.....20 minutes...I was about to give up on him for the second time, until I felt his tongue on my lower back, tracing the outline of my dimples. I let out a gasp of air.

He took both of my butt cheeks into the palm of each of his hands, and then I felt his tongue inside of me. Sweetly suckling on my clit, my body writhing in ecstasy. I could not stop the moans from falling from my lips as I clutched the sheets in my fists. My eyes rolled back in my head, thinking this was an experience like we had never shared. I had never known Mark to show passion like this. It was if he was an entirely different person.

"Babyy", I whispered.

He slapped me on my ass and in a demanding seductive voice said, "Don't turn around".

I could feel the heat from his whisper on the side of my face, my nipples instantly hardening under his touch. I reached around and guided him inside of me, feeling him start to slam against my walls. I screamed out his name as each stroke went deeper and deeper. He grabbed my hips as we started moving in unison, our bodies in perfect sync.

"Damn baby, you missed daddy didn't do you?"

I moaned in agreement.

"Lift those hips up for daddy"

I immediately lifted myself up. My legs began shaking and I could feel myself dripping down my inner thighs. He swiped at it with his fingers and rubbed it against his lips and my own. I licked my lips fervently as he pulled my hair, continuing to stroke deep inside me. He was about to come because I could feel him growing larger, so I tightened my pelvic muscles tight around him, and then I felt him burst inside me. Chills went up and down my spine as I climaxed, feeling him fall in ecstasy on top of me. Before I knew it, we were both asleep.

I awoke from my stupor reaching across the bed for Mark, and then realized my bed was empty. I sat up, trying to blink the sleep fog from my eyes. I picked up my phone and saw I had a text from Mark, apologizing for not being able to make it and that he would be over later today. I looked next to me and saw a note on my nightstand and my laptop on the table.

What the fuck just happened?

CONFUSION: DEZ

I was so tired of being pushed to the side as if I was some little secret. I loved her so much, but I was so confused as to why she didn't love me the same. I've spent plenty of nights alone crying due to her ego and self-pride. Wishing that she would pay me some attention. Whenever she needed me, I came running without a hesitation. It's as if she's ashamed of me but how could she be if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have half of the things that she has today. Flesh of her Flesh, Blood of her Blood. I am her and she is me. See after today there would be no more ignoring Dez. Dez was going to get her attention one way or the other. As I stood there watching her sleep gazing back and forth at her and the phone with tears rolling down my face my heart was stung by the messages I was seeing. We entered this relationship on a no title basis at first until things started getting serious so for me to see her telling him how she wanted to marry him and how she would give up everything for him hurt me to the core. I wanted to hit her drunk ass in the head with my shoe, but I had something better in mind. Two can play this game. I texted my side piece and had him come over to give me some sweet loving to easy my mind. He came we did what we did but I still wasn't satisfied. Yeah, I know before you judge me it was messed up that I would do such thing feeling the emotions I was feeling but so what... screw you. Now don't get it twisted although we have an open relationship any person, I came in contact with we both shared them so in my opinion I didn't consider that cheating. I grabbed my jacket and car keys wrote her note and slammed the door on my way out. I drove around in an awkward silence for about thirty minutes before I decided to go to "Maggie's Lounge" and drink my sorrows and find me two Jon's to get with. Jon's stands for "Jump on" the opposite of "Jump off". I pulled up into the parking lot and set there for about ten minutes before I decided to go in. As I opened my door a women came running up to my car screaming and hollering "Help me". I was extremely startled and didn't know what to do.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"No do I look OK " she replied with blood dripping from her nose. "Can I please use your phone?" she asked. Before I could even reply she snatched the phone out of my hand and began dialing. I grabbed a Newport out glove compartment and a few paper towels and handed them to her. Now considering the circumstances I brushed off the fact that she snatched my phone out of my hand and stood there watching her.

"Hello, Slim, we have a problem. I just got robbed. Some guy came out of nowhere and took everything. The product and my money." I don't believe that whomever she was on the phone with really cared that she was hurt because all I heard him say was "I don't care what happened you better have all my money and I mean all of it". She hung up the phone and handed it to me. I gave her my jacket and took some paper towels and helped her fix her face.

"Is everything OK? I asked handing her my jacket.

"Thank you and no it's not OK. I'm out of product and money on top of that I have a busted nose how in the world am I supposed to make any money looking like this. My pimp is going to kill me if I comeback empty handed" she said handing me my phone back.

"I think I can help you out with that. Come on let me buy you a few drinks if you don't mind and help you clean up that beautiful face." I said pushing her hair out her face. I took her by the hand, and we walked inside. After cleaning her face up we sat at the bar and ordered a shot of Jack Daniel's.

"Hey Dez, looking good as always baby. Let me guess the usually the usual...?" Steve asked. Steve was one of the sexiest Dominican men I had ever seen in my life. I hated the fact that he was so young because believe it or not he would have been the perfect person to feel my sexual desires with.

" Yes and make that a double" I replied.

"So, who's your friend?" he asked.

"My name is Lee Lee." she replied shaking his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Lee Lee" he said kissing her hand.

"As a matter of fact, just keep my tab open. Bring them as we throw them" I replied.

"Lovely Lee Lee. Do you have a man?" he asked.

"No. Why? Would you like to be my man?" she asked. As these two flirted their way into an unknown conversation I scanned the room to see if I could find a Jon or two to stick my hands into. The room was looking pretty dull until a tall handsome chocolate man tapped on my shoulder.

"Hello beautiful my name is Jay. Can I buy you a drink? he asked.

"Of course. I love your skin tone by the way" I said rubbing his arm. I knew what I was here for, and I wasn't about to waste any time. Any man in his right mind knows that when a woman rubs on your arm especially when you first meet them is not trying to go on a dinner date.

"Thank you" he said running his hand down the middle of my back. As his hand rubbed down my back my kitty started purring. She wanted him and I couldn't blame her. Tall chocolate men were my weakness. "How about we take this party somewhere else" he said. I nodded my head and followed him to a secluded place in the back of the bar. Without hesitation he grabbed my face and kissed me. His lips felt so soft and juicy. "Mmm" I moaned with so much pleasure. As he started kissing on my neck, I forcefully snatched off his belt and stuck my hands inside his pants. I was surprised to see that he didn't have on any boxers then again considering how big his penis was I understood. Something so big and beautiful didn't need restriction. He let out a sexy gasping sound while sucking on my nipples. Dam I loved having my girls sucked on. It was obvious that he enjoyed me rubbing on him because he was at full attention.

"Can I kiss it" I asked in a seductive voice. Getting down on my knees.

"Yes, please do" he said. Looking down into my eyes. I place the tip of him inside my mouth and started sucking with gentle force making wet circles with my tongue. He moaned with such a soft sexy sound that sent chills down my spine. I begin taking his full shaft of 11 inches inside my mouth. At this point Lisa and her mystery man was the last thing on my mind. I was more focused on how good this man tasted. He begins pushing my head further down, so far down to the point I gagged. He was so hard I can tell he was about to burst. Before he did, I stood up and bent over wrapping my hands around my ankles. "Fuck" I screamed as he entered my essence. I came on the first stroke.

"Already baby" he said removing his shaft. I looked back at him and moaned "Yes". He took his left hand rubbed my pussy then licked his fingers. "Wow you taste amazing".

"I know" I replied placing his fingers in my mouth. "Now fuck me baby". This man fucked me so hard that my wig came off. Considering I had Queen Latifah braids from "Set it Off" in my hair I tried putting it back on, but he snatched it out of my hands and threw it in the corner. Before I knew it, he had me on top of some wooden slacks with both of my legs on his shoulders giving me long deep strokes. With each stroke I screamed louder and louder. There was cum everywhere. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was her face, but I didn't let that stop me from getting the revenge I wanted to get. If she was having fun so was I. Turning back now was not an option. He placed his shirt on the floor, and I climbed on top of him slowly lowering my sweet wet pussy on his dick. I rode him so good that he started stuttering my name D-D-D-D-D-E-E-ZZZZZZ. With each stuttering word I rode him harder and faster.

"Shit baby" I moaned.

"I'm about to come. Get up" he cried out. Getting off was not an option I wanted to feel him explode all in me and just like that he did. After we was done, I left him there went to the bathroom to clean myself off and left. On my way out I seen Lee Lee sitting on an old white man's lap. I guess baby girl was about to get her money back. I drove back home and got in the bed as if nothing had ever happened.

CONFUSION: LISA

When I finally awoke from the brink of ecstasy, I reached across the bed for Mark. I needed to feel his weight on top of me and head full force into round two. As my arms stretched out for him, I realized there was no one in the bed with me. I sat up, trying to shake the fogginess of sleep from my eyes and I reached for my phone. I had a text from Mark, apologizing for not being able to make it and that he would be over later in the day. Wait, WHAT?! Mark never came over last night, but CLEARLY someone was in bed, as it still reeked of lovemaking. I hopped up and started pacing back and forth, scratching my head and muttering. I felt lightheaded and the fog I tried to shake earlier was surrounding me. I was in the Twilight Zone. What was going on? Who the HELL was in my bed? Question after question was running through my head, and try as I might, I could not answer any of them. After pacing for what seemed like eons, I came to the only logical explanation. It must have been Keith. OH NO! I was FUMING and little black dots entered my field of vision. I was ENRAGED. I screamed in frustration and anger, grabbed my phone, and began dialing his number. It went straight to voicemail.

"You two-bit son of a bitch! You are so entitled! You think you can just take anything you want, anytime you want it and there will never be any consequences or repercussions. Well, I'm not one of those bitches that are just going to roll over and allow you to be a sick BASTARD and do NOTHING. I'm not even built like that Bruh. This is low even for you. How dare you come into my place and MY bed without an invite? I never thought you would become such a freak. You better start looking for another place of employment because if I EVER lay eyes on you again it is going to be misunderstanding. Believe that!" I slammed my phone down on my nightstand screaming. I caught a glimpse of color out of the corner of my eye which I initially wrote off as sub psychotic rage. However, upon further inspection, I saw a post it with a quick scribbled note that said, "Catch you later." Catch you later?! Who in and what in the HELL is going on here?! At this point, my mind is spinning so badly I had to hold myself up on the nightstand, unable to find my way through the fog of confusion. I immediately got into the shower and began scrubbing my skin until it was raw, trying to wash away the memories of last night, or lack thereof. The thought of his lips touching mine disgusted me, and how good it felt disgusted me even more. Despite our history, I didn't want or need him in my life that way anymore. The fact that he would just walk in here and take from me really proved just how little he ever cared about me. Suddenly, almost like a vision, this black room with blue lights flashed before my eyes. I fell into the shower wall, grabbing the curtain to stop myself from falling out. I stood under the water for a few minutes trying to catch my breath and trying to stop my heart from racing. Eventually I pulled myself together enough to at least get out of the shower. I turned off the water, pushed to curtain to the side, and there stood Mark. Tall, dark, and glistening, and naked. He stood there, fully on display, a picture of perfection. Michelangelo's David. He beckoned to me to come to him, and I eagerly obliged. Before I knew it, he had swept me up into his arms effortlessly. He placed me gently on the bathroom counter and I grabbed his face, pulling it towards mine. Devouring his lips with my own, loving the feel of his tongue sweetly tracing the inside of my bottom lip. His kiss always sends chills down my spine. I can feel the electricity of his touch radiating from my fingertips. We kissed passionately and then his lips cascaded kisses down my chin, to my jaw and then stopping at my neck, suckling me fervently. A moan escaped my lips as I dug my nails into his back, bringing one hand up to run my fingers through his hair. His hands moved down my hips as he placed both of his hands on my ass, pulling me closer towards him. Almost instantly I felt his tip press against my inner thigh, awaking the fire within me. I seductively whispered in his ear and without hesitation, he was inside me. I could feel the pressure of every single one of his inches, stroking me like a rhythmic melody. His lips had made their way from my neck to my nipples, his tongue playfully flicking back and forth upon them. By this time, the moans are uncontrollably spilling out of my mouth, damn near screaming his name. I placed his finger in my mouth, suckling as if I was drinking milk from mother's breast. "Are you ready for a ride?" I nodded my head yes. There was nothing that I wanted more. I slid off the bathroom counter and turned my back to him. He traced his fingers down my shoulder, elbow, all the way down to hands and placed them in front of me on the mirror. I closed my eyes, waiting once again for his pressure. He immediately pinched each of my nipples between his fingers. As a gasp escaped me, he said "Open your eyes." I did as he asked and looked up, seeing him behind me in the mirror. He pointed at our reflection, my left nipple still firmly pinched by his other hand and said, "Watch." I trembled with ecstasy as I arched my back and placed my knee up on the counter. I watched him lick his way down my spine, to my ass performing the best version of Tuchis-Lingus I had ever known.

I was flying. Why was there such a drug problem in the world? Had they never had sex? Because this was the best high, I had ever known. His fingers had found my G Spot and I was flying higher and higher. The world was behind me, and I was on the moon. As I watched him watch me, I literally see his focus on me. As if he were trying to burn the image of us into his brain, so he could carry it with him always. Immediately I was back on earth, the gravity of last night dropping on me like a ton of bricks. I felt like complete trash. Her I was, making love to the man I wanted to marry, and wanted to marry me, and not 10 hours ago, I was in bed with someone else. Fuck. Me. This man was so good, even on the brink of an existential crisis, he took me back to the moon. I yelled out his name as I creamed all over his face.

He wiped his face with his hand, licked every bit of me off. "Chefs Kiss" he whispered as put his dick inside of me. We moved in perfect harmony, he pushed in and I pushed back. Each stroke hitting deep and hard. I kept pushing back sending him deeper and deeper inside of me. Hoping the deeper he went, the longer I could stay on the moon and not have to think about last night or acknowledge how much I felt like a whore. I could feel him swell and looked deep into his eyes in the mirror. Never losing our harmonious connection, we came at the same time.

As we laid on the bathroom floor, wrapped in each other's arms, I thought "This is it. This is where I am meant to be. I can never lose this feeling, or I will be chasing this high for the rest of my life. I can never tell him what happened."

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Yes" I replied. I was ravenous. This is the most sex I'd had in one day in quite a while.

"Well, I brought your favorite. Cream cheese bagels with chicken and waffles. I even got the sundried tomato bagels with vegetable cream cheese." I squealed in delight and threw my arms around his neck laughing. He was right, those are my absolute favorite. He knew so much about me. Great. That is now the second time in twenty minutes that I feel like garbage. I wondered how long the guilt would hang over my head. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me into the shower with him. As we washed away the tell-tale signs of passion, he informed me that he had a surprise for me later. Great. Garbage for a third time. This was already getting old. I wanted to tell him what happened, more than anything I did. I just knew that if I told him, he would never look at me the same way he did in that mirror ever again. I cannot lose that feeling. Mark always made me feel like magic, and I would do unspeakable things to keep feeling like magic. Things like looking the man I loved in the eye and lie to his face.

As we finished breakfast, I got up to refill our coffee. When I came back to the table, there was a jewelry box in front of my plate.

"Surprise" he said to me sweetly.

I put the coffee pot on the table and sat down, my hands shaking as I opened the lid. A beautiful diamond necklace with matching earrings glistened from the sun shining in the window. It was a new design from my favorite jeweler, and he bought it for me. Trashy feeling for the fourth time. Yippie. I cried as I gingerly took the out of the box, trying to pass them off as tears of joy, while they were really tears of misery. The guilt was hitting me like bullets. He got up from his chair, took the necklace from my hands and placed it around my neck. He smiled down at me and said he loved me. I loved him too. More than I could intelligently put into words. I wanted to say it back, but they were stuck in my throat. I was fighting to get them out, all while thinking it was weird that that loser Kevin had never called me back. Not even a text message. Nothing. Then, as if it were scripted, my phone rang.

"Baby can you grab my phone off the night table" I asked absentmindedly. Wait, SHIT! THE NOTE WAS ON THE NIGHT TABLE!! I jumped up, trying to make it to the phone before he did, but I was too late. He turned around with note and phone in hand. He had a confused, slightly enraged look on his face. He tossed me my phone and held the paper up to my face. "Explain". I opened my mouth not even knowing what I was going to say when he cut me off. "Nah, take your call. But you gone explain this." He threw the note on the table and walked out of the room.

"Hello" I said into the phone. Trying the hide the shakiness of my voice. An operator was on the other line.

"This is the Virginia Correctional Facility. You have a collect call from Kevin Pearson. Would you like to accept this call?"

"Yes" I replied.

"Hello. Lisa baby it's me Kevin I'm in jail" he said sounding like a sad. Wait hold up in jail. I was even more confused than ever before. If he was in jail, then who in the hell was in my bed last night.

"Yeah, ok that's obvious. When and why are you in jail?" I asked whispering hoping Mark did not hear me talking.

"Since last night I was on my way to drop your laptop off to you and got pulled over for running a red light and found a loaded pistol in my car. Which isn't mines by the way. Can you please come and bail me out?" he replied. I dropped the phone in shock and disbelief. "NO-NO-NOOOOOOO" I screamed. I picked up the phone "Kevin I have to go. I will call your mother for you ok. I cannot do this right now.

Mark came running into the room with this frantic look on his face. "Lisa are you ok?' he asked.

"No, honestly I'm not... Well about the note you found let me explain. Baby sit down please". He set down staring me in my eyes. It felt like he could see right through me. If looks could kill babies listen, I would be good as dead. Baby it's happening again."

He looked at me with a confused look on his face "Lisa what are you talking about?" he replied.

"DEZ baby she's back......