Zula’s Dream

“Is it not enough that I told you I love you?” he said with a gentle passion that would forever catch my attention, his eyes doleful and pleading.

I was almost sympathetic but all I could think was, no. It wasn't enough. I have to believe that you truly mean it when you say that. In order for me to believe, I need you to prove it to me, to show me those words aren't only that…words. Just words that you said because you felt that was what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear in order to convince me this was something worth fighting for. And maybe it is partially my fault, perhaps I still haven't done enough healing to ever believe someone to be actually telling me the truth when they say that. But he held so many empty promises since the beginning of this relationship, saying all the right things, saying it in the right way, but they lacked depth. The lack of action behind his words made them feel hollow, meaningless.

He takes advantage of my long pause and grabs me at the nape of my neck with one hand, pulling me in for the wildly passionate and commanding kiss I’m expecting. No matter how much I don't trust him it is these kisses, these moments, the carnal lust that keeps me trapped in this tidal wave of a relationship. He pulls me even closer with his other arm wrapping around my waist and BANG

Zula jumped up from her slumber, scaring her puppy Yoyo who snuggled beside her along with knocking over the sketchbooks and pencils that littered her bed. The new windscreen had come loose again, the wind banging it against her window for the third night in a row. It was definitely making her question how good her cousin really was at remodeling. Getting up to try and fix it she noticed Olly, the beautiful barn owl that had lived around her grandmother’s land since she was 10, was sitting on the great oak outside her window, also for the third night in a row. It wasn't unusual for Olly to be in the tree per se; it was one of her favorite spots, but in the summertime she was usually more social, making appearances throughout the neighborhood. Maybe it was her old age, Zula was 23 now so Olly had to be at least 13 years old maybe more.

“Goodnight Olly, thanks for always keeping watch over me. Did grandma send you?”

Olly twisted her head to the right, and said “Yes, Beatrix deemed me your guardian since the first day you laid eyes on me.” Her voice was raspy, yet warm and soothing like a mother’s love.

Zula froze looking around for whoever could have said that, because certainly she had not just heard an owl talk.

“You can talk Olly?” Zula asked timidly, not sure whether she would feel crazier if she actually responded again or not.

“Yes child. You've talked to me for years, you can just finally hear my response. Don’t be frightened, this is a part of your gifts.” Olly responded.

Zula’s grandmother had always told her about the family ‘gifts’ but since she was 23 she figured if she was going to develop them she would have by now. None of her cousins seemed to have any gifts so maybe it just skipped a generation.

“So say I believe you are really talking to me and this isn't a dream. Why is this just happening all of a sudden?”

“Your gifts usually appear right before or right after a life-changing event. So I'd say be prepared for some big changes coming your way child.” Olly responded, flying away into the old red barn apparently done speaking for the night.

“Well I'll be damned. If this isn't some way to start truly adulting on my own.” Zula had seen her grandmother do too many ‘crazy’ things so the shock of the situation really didn't stick long. She couldn't help but notice a pattern of three’s that seemed to be developing. One; the windscreen jolting her awake at 3 am, two; Olly watching her sleep and now talking to her and three; that dream, all occurring the last three nights.She thought maybe it's because I'm back at grandmas, it's a familiar place but not as familiar as it used to be. The 4 and half years away at college and vacationing in Greece had made her childhood home just a tad unfamiliar. But to have the same weird dream 3 nights in a row was unusual for Zula. .

“That's just crazy.” she laughed to herself in disbelief. “I've never witnessed a relationship like that, let alone be in one.”

One thing is for sure though whoever that guy is he is hot. He had caramel brown eyes, the very outer edge so green it was almost emerald framed by the longest eyelashes. His skin cocoa brown, a wide prominent nose and lips so full and luscious Zula thought they might be why she kept dreaming about him. It had been quite awhile since she had the attention of someone so wildly attractive. She couldn't even get started with his voice, that deep southern pitch that was soothing like hot chamomile tea and made Zula feel like he was a safe place.

Her grandmother was very versed in the astral realm and the meanings of dreams, Zula thought of calling her but she was on a trip in the Amazon forest at the moment, with no access to phones.

“Guess I'll have to work this out on my own.” Zula sighed to herself.

Wired now she decided to go into her art studio and paint the mystery guy. Her ‘art studio’ was her grandmother's old room, she had left the house to Zula after deciding retirement was best spent traveling the world and Zula had been making some renovations with her cousin Damian. Zula couldn't imagine sleeping in any other room except her own and the spaciousness of her grandmothers made it perfect for an art studio. The huge bay windows were unusual for bedrooms in a house this old but the natural sunlight or moonlight kept Zula motivated and inspired.

The moon was especially big tonight, a full moon peeking behind the trees, that could also explain the dreams. Abstract was her preferred style and she wanted the focal point to be his dreamy eyes. She could feel the power they held over her in the dream, it was like he was hypnotizing her keeping her captive in that realm and it was spilling into her real world now too. She lost herself in painting and the sun was rising before she knew it. Yoyo scampered in ready for her morning walk. Zula needed to stretch her body anyway. She took one last look at the piece so far, the eyes were so enchanting, emanating his energy almost exactly and the lips floated nearby luscious and full, but missing the glossiness she remembered from her dreams.

“I need some varnish for those lips, don't I Yoyo? And we need some food don't we? Let's go get some fresh air and go into town baby.” Zula half expected Yoyo to actually answer but maybe she couldn't hear all the animals, at least not yet. She grabbed Yoyo and walked back into her bedroom.

Her room was modest, the huge old fashioned red oak bed frame taking up most of the space with a fluffy pink floral comforter covered in stains from paint, markers and charcoal. Zula thought it added character so she didn't mind the stains. She had an old armoire made of red oak as well, it used to be her mothers, one of the only things she kept for herself all these years since her mothers passing. She didn't remember much about her mother as she died when Zula was only four but the little memories she did have felt warm and homey. Her father was a long story she chose not to think about often, but he was still very much alive. She decided on a dark violet sweater, some light washed skinny jeans and her black and white platform puma sneakers. She turned to her mirror, it was huge and rectangular with a golden frame embroidered with symbols her grandmother engraved as spiritual protection. She was a curvy woman, her skin a beautiful medium brown with red undertones, wide full lips and her eyes were big and upturned a reddish brown with golden flakes, forever her favorite feature.

“Wow, my hair looks a mess.”

Zula’s naturally ginger coils were matted to her head from sleep and deserved some much needed tlc. She went to her adjoining bathroom and quickly sprayed her hair with some water and leave-in, picking it out a bit, satisfied with a simple afro for the day.

“Okay Yoyo i'm sorry let me take you out so you can pee.”

They walked downstairs and out the backdoor, Yoyo immediately ran down the steps to relieve herself. The backyard was like an enchanted forest filled with all of the flowers and fruit trees her grandma had planted over the years. Zula had always helped her grandma so tending to them was not a hard task, but a labor of love. Her orange bike leaned on the side of the house loosely covered by a tarp.

“Should we take my bike today instead of driving? The art store and farmers market aren't too far from here. And I'm only grabbing a few things” Zula asked Yoyo. Yoyo continued to run around the yard ignoring her. Zula decided a bike ride would be nice so she went back in to grab her keys and backpack. She locked up the house then grabbed Yoyo and put her in the bike’s basket, ready to head into town.

Her grandmother's land was expansive, used to grow various herbs that her cousins Lola and Damian now tended to and sold at the farmers market. She always forgot how many acres whenever people asked, but it was sacred land a part of her family for generations so it would never be sold. There were two other families nearby, their land just as big so when going into town she rode by their farms. On one side there were the Thompson’s they grew various grains and on the other was the Naori’s they grew cotton and kept several different animals, both selling their products in the surrounding towns just like Zula’s family.

The nearest town Navani was only about 3 miles away and the side Zula would get to first was right where they held the farmers market. Zula was a vegetarian so she usually just rode into town every other day to grab whatever she was in the mood for so that it would be nice and fresh. Today she decided to grab some blueberries to add to some stuffed french toast, she had all the other ingredients at home and some cauliflower, zucchini, hen of woods mushrooms and sweet potatoes for dinner.

“Thankfully this basket is pretty big and you're so small, Yoyo, so I can fit a good amount of stuff in here.” Yoyo licked Zula’s palm gently, reminding her that she was a growing puppy that needed some food. Zula reached in her bag for a dog biscuit, Yoyo devoured it in seconds.

There weren't many people in town yet as it was still pretty early, only 9:30, the art store didn't open till 10 am so Zula decided to take the scenic route and go down the trail near the lake. It was a beautiful clear lake that the townspeople prided themselves in keeping clean. The dirt near it was so grainy it was almost like a mini beach. Zula spent a lot of time there when she had a creative block, the calm waters easing her mind.

She stopped at her favorite spot and leaned her bike against a tree, taking Yoyo out and letting her roam. Zula took off her shoes and socks letting her feet seep into the dirt. It was warm from the sun shining directly on her. Her grandmother always had her practice grounding when she got overwhelmed as a child and this grew to be her favorite method. A minute to enjoy fully being herself and fully being connected to all of nature, every leaf, tree, every creature and wisp of air. Zula lost herself in meditation for a bit but came back to reality when Yoyo began jumping on her. She pulled Yoyo into her arms for a hug and checked her watch, it read 10:15 so she hopped back on her bike and finished riding to the art store.

The art store was called Huxby’s Art and was owned by Julia Huxby, one of Zula’s most favorite people in town. Julia was a kind soul born and raised in Navani, with a passion for art and helping others, she held classes in the store once a week it was there that Zula realized her passion for painting. Zula walked in and it was Yana, Julia’s eldest daughter opening the store today.

“Hey Zula! You’re here early you little night owl. Having trouble sleeping again?” Yana greeted her.

“Yes.” Zula sighed “I’ve just been having the most vivid dreams and Damian’s home repairs really aren't the best.” she laughed.

Yana chuckled dusting off some old display “Well you know what your grandma would say ‘Nothing a cup of tea won’t fix’.”

“Right, can’t have a conversation with her without the mention of herbs.”

‘“As for the repairs, maybe my new friend Leo can help. He's new in town and has been doing handiwork around the shop the last couple days.” Yana said.

“Oh really okay, well you can introduce me after I grab this varnish. I started a painting early this morning and it needs a little pop.”

“And he’s really hot.” Yana whispered a silly grin on her face.

Zula rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile because ever since they were kids Yana was always up to something. Lately that ‘something’ was playing matchmaker for Zula any chance she got. She put Yoyo in the dog bed Julia kept behind the counter and moved through the store to find some varnish. On her way back to the counter she noticed some new pottery pieces they had for sale. The one that grabbed her attention was a soft jade green, oval shaped, textured with misaligned loops, and a little hole to place incense.

“This piece is so pretty Yana, who made them?” Zula asked, a soft smile on her face.

“I did” answered a man with a silky deep voice.

Zula looked up and into a pair of caramel hazel eyes and recognized him immediately. It was the man from her dreams, there he stood before her cocoa brown skin vibrant against his white t-shirt, he had on army green cargo pants and brown work boots. He was about 6’2, taller than what Zula had imagined. She stepped back absolutely shocked that he was real and standing right in front of her. She looked down and noticed a missing plank in the floor, but before she could react she slipped falling hard on her butt.

“Oh shit.” the man said. Rushing to help Zula he held out his hand and she reluctantly took it. He thrusted her up a bit too sharply and they crashed into each other. Her head lay resting against his broad muscular chest. Zula could hear the thumping of his heart beating almost as loudly as her own.

Yana walked up and said “Oh, I heard a crash but Leo seems to have you all taken care of.” Yana smirked, picking up the varnish Zula dropped and walked behind the counter to ring her up. Zula awkwardly laughed and detached herself from Leo’s arms picking up the incense holder that had miraculously not broken.

“Well at least this didn't break.” Zula said.

“I'm glad you didn't break either.” Leo replied smoothly.

“Oh yeah for sure” Zula laughed “Um, nothing broken here.” She limped a bit to the counter.

“Looks like you have a bit of a limp there.” Leo said, a look of concern on his face.

“Yeah Zula, are you sure you're okay? I'm positive Leo wouldn't mind taking you and Yoyo home if you don't think you can manage on your bike.” Yana said mischief written all over her face.

Zula cut her eyes at Yana and said “That's not necessary, I'm totally fine.” She continued to the counter wincing at the pain in her right ankle, it had twisted a bit when she fell.

“Honestly it's no problem, I insist, it's my fault anyway the plank was my next project. I should've gotten it done before Yana opened up.” Leo said placing his hand on Zula’s shoulder, Zula looked up into his eyes still in disbelief that a stranger from her dreams had suddenly appeared in town, but curious so she agreed replying “Okay, thank you I really appreciate it.”

Yana checked her out and they headed outside. Yoyo walked beside Zula and Leo grabbed her bike for her, putting it in a black pickup truck parked on the side of the store. It was a pretty tall truck and Zula wasn't sure she was going to be able to get into the seat on her own with this pain in her ankle.

Seemingly reading her mind, Leo appeared at her side opening the passenger door, he held out his hand and said “May I?”. Expecting him to just let her use his hand as support in hopping up onto the step, she nodded yes. To her surprise he scooped her up like a baby and placed her into the seat.

Wow, you really are quite comfortable with me, for us to be strangers.” Zula said laughing awkwardly, she felt almost embarrassed that she liked it so much, but seeing him and feeling his energy in her dreams for the last 3 nights she admittedly felt comfortable with him too.

“We aren't strangers.” he replied matter of factly, that sly smile on his face. He placed Yoyo and her groceries in her lap and closed the door.

Zula’s mind raced, because why would he say that? She couldn't deny the instant connection but she had never met Leo outside of that dream. She never even thought of the possibility that he was a real live person, not just a figment of her dream world's imagination.

He hopped in the truck and said “So where to?”

“Oh yeah, I live a few miles down past the farmers market so you can head back into town that way.” Zula responded, pointing down towards the lake where she had been earlier.

Leo headed in that direction, he didn't turn on the radio but was humming a lively tune that sounded familiar to Zula but she couldn't put her finger on it. She wanted to ask him about what he said earlier but was almost scared to know how he’d answer.

They arrived at her house quickly and Zula rushed to get out the truck, forgetting about her hurt ankle.

“Hold on love, let me help you out” Leo rushed out to help her. Before Zula could protest he scooped her up again and walked up the front porch of her house.

Leo paused, making no move to put her down so she could unlock the door. “I think I got it from here.” she said with a smile blossoming on her face.

“Oh right.” He looked almost shy there for a second but the expression quickly disappeared. “Where do you want me to put your bike?”

“Over there on the side of the house is fine. Thank you so much for everything.” She turned and saw him heading back to his truck then said “Would you like to come in for a drink?”. Zula was still a bit stunned by the whole situation but she couldn't help but feel that it was destined in some wonky way. Olly’s words of big changes kept reverberating in her mind.

The sly smile back on his face Leo replied “I’d love to.”

He followed her inside with a familiarity like he had been there before, slipping off his shoes onto the mat where Zula placed hers. He watched her carefully, concerned about her ankle.

“So I have apple juice, cranberry juice, coconut water and regular water.”

“Apple juice.” he said

“Good choice.” She took two glasses out of the cupboard and poured the juice. Handing him his drink, their hands touched a bit, Zula tried to hide the smile that the warm tingly sensation of touching him gave her.

“So are we done pretending we don't know each other?” Leo said, swiveling in his chair to face more towards Zula who stood across from him. He knew she didn't know as much as he did, but he felt like no matter how overwhelming it might be she was ready to know everything and to open her world up to what could truly be. She choked on her drink a little, a bit of apple juice slid down her mouth.

“I've seen you in my dreams and I know you've seen me.” Leo said slowly sipping his apple juice, and peering at her from beneath those long eyelashes, his eyes hopeful.

Thankful he had chosen to ignore her little mishap, she said “How could you possibly know that?”

“I just know things, and so do you. You just haven't completely tapped into your gifts yet.” He placed his glass down and rose from his seat walking slowly towards Zula. “I know that we were destined to meet, that our souls have history and in this life we will finally get it right.”

Zula stared at him amazed that he was so bold to just tell her these things. Simultaneously every bone, muscle and blood cell in her body could feel that his words were true. She had grown up around her grandmother being well versed in the ‘witchy’, ‘spiritual’, overall, ‘alternate’ way of viewing reality but nothing had shown itself to her in this way until today. Today she could hear animals talk back to her and apparently had met her soulmate.

Regardless, her introduction to him in the dream world was not as satisfactory as he was in this world, to Zula it almost felt like it was a warning. “I'm not sure what is in your dreams, but in mine you are toxic and we don't belong together at all.” Zula said, backing away from him and starting to put her produce into the fridge.

“Tell me about it. I can almost guarantee what you were seeing was us in a past life. I've been knowing about our connection for awhile, seeing visions of our past and future. I know there is a part of you that doesn't want to believe me, but an even bigger part that feels that all I am saying is true.” Leo said still moving closer to Zula.

Zula told him about the dream, figuring she had nothing to lose.

Leo listened intently, oscillating from a look of concentration and frustration. “I really don't want to overwhelm you with all of these different concepts but I think that may be us in a different timeline. A timeline where neither of us took the time to heal certain childhood traumas and wounds from past lives. We both had parental guides in this lifetime that wished the best for us and knew of our karmic contracts, ensuring we would be healed adults. Correct me if I'm wrong.”

It was like he could see through Zula’s soul, he knew details about her he shouldn't and that alone piqued Zula’s interest. She was never one to turn down an adventure and obviously Leo was something she craved and deserved to experience.

“No you're not wrong. I can’t deny that I feel something with you, and that I don’t feel the toxic energy of that dream coming from you. But I don't think this is something we should just nosedive into. I..” Zula could feel herself begin to ramble, what she usually did the most when overwhelmed, so she took a few deep breaths. Leo walked closer to where she stood still near the fridge and pulled her in for a hug.

Their breaths began to sync and within minutes they were transported to another realm. The kitchen disappeared in a blur. A whirlwind of colors surrounded them, it looked as if they were at the eye of a rainbow colored tornado. Zula didn't even feel any panic; she felt so calm wrapped in his arms as if they were made specifically to hold her, and only her. It was almost as if in this realm blissful peace was the only emotion that could be felt. She looked up at Leo and he was smiling softly, looking at her with love, because he knew what they were about to see. The colors suddenly turned into images flashing by them, they progressively slowed down and Zula could see that in all of them there was a couple, her and Leo. It was images of them in past lives, one life they were Egyptian royalty attending events in the palace, fitted in the finest of clothes and gold jewelry. In another life they were nomads traveling across desolate land with three kids in tow. In another life they lived in a rainforest with their tribe spending their days eating fruit and making art. Zula felt her own energy emanating from the images, she could feel how she felt in those lives, what lessons she learnt and how integral Leo always was.

Zula began to cry, an astounding amount of joy flooding into her heart, her soul was singing because she knew this was true magic, she was true magic. Life felt so much more compelling in that moment and Zula couldn't believe that she was able to experience it. Leo wiped the tears from her eyes, squeezing her a bit more tightly. Zula opened her eyes and now the only image that swirled around them was their wedding in this lifetime. Playing in the background was the same tune Leo had been humming in the car. Her mother stood there beside her, her spirit living on and Zula’s gifts finally being strong enough to connect with her fully.

Seeing her mother was the last bit of comfort and confirmation Zula needed to know that the journey she was about to embark on with Leo was right for her, it was a part of her destiny. Slowly the tornado disappeared and they were back in her kitchen. Zula immediately fainted and Leo caught her carrying her up to her room.

Zula woke to the sounds of hoots. The sun was just setting and the sky displayed a beautiful sunset of deep orange, fuschia and peach. Olly sat patiently waiting in the windowsill the glow of the sunset making her look ever so ethereal.

“Wakey wakey, sleepy head.” Olly said, making kissy faces at Zula.

“I told you something big was going to happen. I’m happy for you, you deserve to tap into your authentic self.” Olly said her big eyes seemingly welling with tears.

“Thank you Olly. It means a lot. I thought moving back to my childhood home would feel like going backwards, but it feels like coming home to myself. I’m glad I have you here with me to experience it all.”

“Of course child, now go to that man of yours.”

As if on cue Leo walked in holding her canvas from earlier. He had a smirk on his face and said “I see you talk to birds in this lifetime too. What is with you and birds?”

Zula laughed and then smacked her hands to her face because now it was as if she had all of her past life memories back, the tornado realm had been the key to remembering her past. But it didn't even feel overwhelming, just natural like she had known all of these memories her whole life.

“I know it's amazing isn't it. I wasn't sure if we would go into that realm as easily as we did but I'm thankful for it. It's so hard knowing when you don't yet.”

“Well you will be alone in these memories no longer my love” Zula said tears of joy welling in her eyes again. It was crazy to have such a connection with someone in less than 24 hours, even though technically they had known each other for eons. This life like all the others was different and they needed to get to know the intricate details of each other in this lifetime. Zula still felt they needed to take their time. But she knew it was safe to be vulnerable with him, because on a soul level she felt that he was who she was meant to spend her life with. She patted on the bed motioning for him to join her.

He crawled into the bed pulling her into his arms.

“So my eyes and lips are my best features huh?” he asked, still holding Zula’s painting from this morning.

She laughed and replied “Yes, they were the most memorable things from my dreams these last few nights.”

“Oh really well maybe you'd like to see what those lips feel like in this life. Because I know I'm curious.” That sly smile spread across his face and he leaned in towards her. Zula held on to his face and met his lips, visions of cherry blossoms bloomed in her mind and they escaped into a realm where only they and their love existed forever and ever more.