Yugambeh

A flicker of light hovers in the distance, alone down the dark twisting lane. Red bricks, cramped on one another brought to life by the fluorescent stains of local artists. Gleaming smiles of devilish creatures, a dark silhouette, a lost girl, face bowed, engulfed by darkness, we’re all mad here, I’m mad, You’re mad glides across the red face of the narrow lane. Sunflowers, tulips, Lilly’s, dying roses. I follow the light and find myself standing in front of an oak wooden door. Grains deeply rooted, weather bashed and faded yet powerful, immovable. Knock, Knock, Knock, the wooden panel slides to the left, rusted, jagged, darkness stares into my soul “Two roads diverged in a wood and I”, I clear my throat, and replied “I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference”. A moment pass, slam, the peephole closes shut and a collection of locks begin to clink and clank. One, two, three, four, a twist, the door opens up and I am greeted by a toothless smile, “Welcome to Yugambeh, where the mind and soul come to converse, follow me sir”. My beating heart, dwindles, my trembling hand steadies as I follow the sound of the doorman steal capped boots knock along the wooden floor. Beat, drag, beat, drag, his hips are out of place, perhaps he experienced a tragic act of misfortune, perhaps a greater power chose for him to walk the earth in this manner. Portraits of this nations ancestors decorate the corridor, stone faced, a man stands beside the sign “Gleann-na-nGealt”, It means valley of the mad, the voice of the doorman echoed down the corridor as he caught my eyes staring at the portrait, the patches of matted black hairs on the back of his head always facing me. At the end of the corridor the tributary opened up into candle lit vastness. A rusted bicycle hanged upside down on the wall, beneath it sat a gluttonous creature, yellow stained finger nails curling around the the extended pipes of a hookah, a velvet green couch withstanding the immense pressure it is unwillingly exposed to. Psilocybin mushrooms penetrate through the cracks in the ground, a chandelier of antler towers over my head, candles flicker on the extensions of the once dear skulls, the wax is stagnant. I am directed to a low standing table sitting upon a hand woven rug, surrounded by misplaced cushions, flat, worn, lifeless. I sit crosslegged on a a circular mandala cushion, once vibrant now faded, I feel the energy of the thousands who have sat here before me. A tall brass tea pot and a single tea cup is laid in front of me. Tall whiskers emerge from the darkness, long and twisted at the end zealously sitting upon thin lips below sunken eyes. “speak not, for you do not converse with words at Yugambeh, this is your first pilgrimage?” I nod, however I knew the figure across from me was not requesting an answer. “for centuries one searches for meaning, meaning in the light of day, meaning in the voices of wind, meaning in the colours on the wings of bird, yet what if it is meaningless?. I open my mouth “speak not!” I am sharply reminded. “you come for answers I cannot provide but answers you will receive”. “first you must close your mind, clear what bothers you… you will not find the answers to what troubles you, you must accept the answers you receive”. A withered arm extends from the slackened sleeve as the murky brew slithers from the tall brass tea pot, rounded bottom, burnt, archaic. “Accept the answers you receive, accept the journey gifted to you, do not resist for once the journey begins one cannot cease until Yugambeh has chosen your destination” “Proceed with caution, accept the answers you receive”. I lift the elixir to my lips, pause, take a final breath before consuming the entirety of the tea cups contents. Stillness, nothingness, then the blues of my eyes roll back to white and my journey begins, I am at the mercy of Yugambeh now. My steps are light, a strap weighs down my left shoulder, I do not understand where I am going and yet I keep moving forward. I look down to my right, a bag, large ellipsoidal hanging, my hands, they are smooth, young I continue to walk forward. My surroundings are familiar, theres a sharpness in the air, a moistness in the dew of the grass lining the road. My feet stop, “is this a memory, where am I”, I wait, I know not what I am waiting for but move no further. A leafless tree hangs overhead, a brick wall once resistant to all those that met it, now crumbling. I wait… My breath is shallow, white, as are my finger tips. I hear a light patter and a gnarl, the mouth of a furious fury beast growling at me. Teeth like razors, eyes dark, brown knotted fur, the beast stalks me, circling, deep low growl projected towards me. BANG, the beast vanished as did the tree that once spied above me, a warmth sticks to my back, sweat trickles down, blood drips from the ceiling, screams besiege the depths of my skull. The wailing of a loved one, black pants, grey suspenders, white shirt, aged fedora tilted, straight brown hair beside me. The face engraved with horror, the blood continues to leak onto the floor. I sink further, surrounded by darkness, and pressure builds on my body, crushing my lungs, my bones begin to crack, I sway my arms in the darkness. Frigid movement, the sounds intensify, in the distance I see a burning and I gravitate towards it. A mound or logs, stacked in a box a white sheet atop, scorching. The sheet disintegrates a foot emerges, burning, a body crumbles under the intense heat. Mesmerised, my feet drift towards the flame, hairless, the body burns, I dive head first into the fire. I feel a warmth, an arm over my shoulder, blonde hair sways in the wind and steal blue eyes stare into mine. Laughter rings in my ears, water gently caresses against the harbour walls and I am drawn to dark bluish-grey eyes staring into mine. I stare down and the water surrounds my calfs, a dark cloud flaps in the shallows of the ocean, joyous screams circle as my back is weighed down, arms draped over my shoulders, a kiss on my neck. I turn to find myself in the sand, my feet sliding, the thousand grains comfort me while an explosion of colours bolster my existent, a light touch. The bluish eyes stare at me once again, I lean forward. Music caresses my body, dim light, she glides, beauty, rhythm her body moves freely to the melody that fills the room. I am weightless, entranced, my feet move towards the nordic goddess and I embrace her energy. The darkness diminishes as I feel her touch, I don’t want to leave, I feel safe for the first time in my existence, whole, she leans towards me and whispers “accept the answers you have received”.