Your Heart's Desire

I want you to close your eyes. Close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like if one day, you woke and everything you knew about yourself was gone. You knew nothing about yourself. Not your name, your age, not even the color of your eyes. You wake up in a white room, and while you don’t know who you are, you still know things like what the small hard things in your mouth are, the ins and outs of politics, and the fact that at this moment there are nine other people waking up in the rooms next to you and in front of you.

These nine people are competition. Competition you must beat to win the thing that everyone on Earth covets. The thing that you know you have always wanted.

The heart shaped pendant.

If you can prove that you are better than the nine people in the adjoining rooms, and you already know that you are better than the nine billion people outside of this building, then you get the thing stored inside the pendant. Underneath its carnelian and diamond encrusted exterior lies the thing that makes it the most sought-after thing in this world. The thing more valuable than money, jewels, even your own family.

Memory.

The elite of the world know that the only thing that can unify a people is its memory so what do they do to you and the other nine billion people on this planet? What is the thing that every child must go through once they reach tender age of twelve? What is the thing that you know you went through because that is what the history book in front of you says?

You laugh to yourself, because for all you know, the history in the book in front of you could be a giant lie. Haha.

When you reach the age of twelve, they take you from your family, and they perform a small surgery to the hippocampus and suddenly you wake up every day not remembering who you are. One day you are twelve waking up outside of a small hospital surrounded by other small children milling about confused and lost. You see older looking people staring at you with an expression of sadness. They may not know who they are, or what they did the day before, but they know the reality they live in. It is written on every wall you look at.

“YOU ARE A PERSON. DO NOT FORGET. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STILL BE A PERSON.”

So every day you wake up, panicked and scared and you are lucky enough to wake up in a room with four walls, then you can read on any of the walls in front of you the things you have to do to survive.

1. YOU ARE A PERSON. DO NOT FORGET. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STILL BE A PERSON.

2. FIND FOOD.

3. FIND WATER.

4. STAY IN ONE HOUSE.

For the next twenty year you do this. You wake up every day, stare at the wall until one day, you are dragged from your bed by strange men in strange clothes who tell you this is what must be done.

The book you read tells you that you have been chosen as a Conduit for a recently deceased relative. The book says that when a member of their family is close to death, their memories are uploaded to an item they cherished the most and someone from outside the family is chosen as a Conduit for the memories so the relative could live even after death. In your case, you have been chosen as a possible candidate for the memories of a certain matriarch for a wealthy family.

The book says for the next nine days, each girl will be evaluated. If you are not a compatible match, you are thrown back onto the streets. All you can do is wait.

As you sit in your bed, you notice a few scratches on the wall next to you. You count them. Seven. Does that mean I have been here for seven days? You sit and you fret, hoping that someone will come get you and see what a beautiful and wonderful girl you are. Someone who can join the family and remember things with them, such as picnics and the idea of finishing a book and remembering what it was about.

You wonder if you have ever finished a book.

You close your eyes as a sweet-smelling odor fills your room.

You open your eyes and sunlight is streaming through the skylight.

Where am I?

Who am I?

The questions feel familiar to you as you begin to cry, trying to remember who you are.

You see the table in front of you filled with books, and you look at the title.

The Heart Shaped Pendant and You. There is a picture of an old lady on it, with a beautiful carnelian and diamond pendant hanging around her neck/ You open the book and read about what is happening to you. You understand and begin to hope that you can win such a coveted prize.

You lay on the bed again and wonder about the nine people in the other rooms. You look over and see small scratches on a wall near the bed. You count them. Eight in total. Eight days since you have been here? You hope that that is what it means as the sun begins to go down.

Suddenly, two men come into your room. They introduce themselves to you and tell you that this is an interview you have done eight times already. They ask you questions, and you answer them as quickly and honestly as possible.

You stare at their faces and wonder what is going on through their mind. Can they remember? Or did they just read or watch something that told them who they were?

“Thank you, sweetheart. We are done with the questions.”

You stare at them as they walk out, and you wonder if you passed another night. The pumping of your heart almost keeps you up the entire night, but a sweet-smelling gas coming in through the vents helps you go to sleep.

You wake up the next day on the street.

Where am I?

Who am I?

As you begin to sob, the doors of the building next to you open.

A beautiful girl, her hair golden and shining walks out and stares at the world. Her gaze falls on you, and you shrink back. She smiles and walks over. She holds her hand out and you take it.

It is so soft.

She leads you to a wall with writing and you read the information on it.

1. YOU ARE A PERSON. DO NOT FORGET. YOU WILL WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STILL BE A PERSON.

2. FIND FOOD.

3. FIND WATER.

4. STAY IN ONE HOUSE.

She tells you everything will be alright. She leads you to the door of a house and gently pushes you inside. You turn around to thank her and your eyes fall on something hanging from her neck.

A heart shaped pendant, with a carnelian and diamond exterior.

It is so beautiful.

You wish you could have one.