Yollotl

It is the early morning of one cold day in the tail end of the winter. Human skin was not meant to bear the burning sensation, clawing at the fingertips, numbing the expression. The breeze is erratic, flowing through every crevice, creating a chant that resonates through natural and manmade structures alike. Every inch of the Ti'tsa-pa is frozen.

While most would be awakened by the cacophony, Toxayak has been awake for a few hours. By the sweat of his brown, he seeks to bring in his next commission. The man is past fifty and shows it everywhere, mostly in his eyes, now surrounded by dark circles that pop out on already dark skin. His gaze shines through his dark, matted coat— absent. Toxayak thinks of the cold: "Did not we build our warm home with stone and timber. Nor Horse-coper could build no shrine to protect against the weather like thy father." He says to Tenampi, a young boy with not many defining characteristics but a gentle face in which truth lays bare. A defined wrinkle runs from the sides of his nose to the corners of his mouth, drawn back, exposing his teeth. Tenampi, attenuating his father's comment, keeps moving upward, letting the wind drown the sound. He grips the soil, pushing it aside to climb up the mountain. Each motion getting far more painful than the last. The snow melts on his skin, burning with the touch of air. "Mother said to grow high and let the weather guide the color of the crops. Her seeds will bring us wealth. We should make haste".

The mountain's summit is observable from where they stand, but visions are often deceiving, and aspirations are controlled by our desire. The cold broadens the distance, while hunger reduces it. So they march forth, reaching the summit rapidly. As the final step sets into the soil, the clouds begin to move away to show the men what looks like promising truth. Bright red petals stand above the snow; pale skin, blood spotted. Tenampi's face shows determination, while Toxa's shows self-commendation as he speaks: "Divine are the works of our Lord ."

A rush. The clouds return to obscure the sun, and a swift and deadly blow of the wind flies in to threaten their acquisitions. In an impressive leap, Toxa throws himself to stop the flowers from flying away, getting his skin and face covered with dirt and ice.

-

Toxayak's face is submerged in the white land. He stays there longer than he should; something is comforting about it. The all-consuming burning sensation of the ice seizes his countenance, falling completely numb.

-

Toxa removes the dirt from his eyes only to see two glimmering eyes staring right at him, hiding away in the furthest corner of a cavern across the lake. The glimmer morphs into a hand directly in front of him as Tenampi reaches out to help him stand up: "We need off the mountain and to the village. The river kin will make use of our work". Toxa slowly looks at his son: "...I like you not in the town, Dost hear me? Those heretics will not give us fair doit for our labor if they see you starving". Toxa's eyes back to the cave, where only darkness remains.

A few hours pass. Toxa's eyes now drift toward the sole of his shoe, where the brown material fades into an absence of color. Decisive steps lead his body through the river to reach the town faster. A battle against the cutting blow of the wind and the anxiety of succumbing to the sea. He stops and gets on his knees. Some could say they failed independently, but Toxa would say he chose to lay them there. His hands clear the ice to see the water. For a brief moment, he wonders if the frozen water was perhaps not a field of nothingness but a portal in which one would go to reunite with everything that got taken from us. As the thought gets more profound, his eyes begin to focus so much that they reveal more details about the ice: scratches caused by rocks, dirt, and decay. Finally, meeting his glance, two glimmering eyes that float below the ice—revealing a deeper body of water in which he finds himself adrift. A blink. Darkness.

--

As Toxa walks into town, he is greeted by a man in a humble buckskin shirt sitting by the steps of a place where their kin congregate. Toxa and the man communicate using an intricate combination of Uto-Aztecan languages, filling in the gaps with broken Spanish. "Thou will not waste (...) our time today". A deep tone voice, almost defiant to his presence. Toxayak puffs out his chest: "It is God's fortune that (...) I hoist." The man stares into the corner of Toxa's eyes to see if he would find an inch of doubt. As Toxayak takes a nosegay of beautiful red flowers, the Shoshone's eyes deepen, as if the plants held some divine presence. He quickly blurts out: "Not to be busy about manners of your venery, yet for as it is, I pray (...) to let me entreat thee with large compensation for thy labor."

Oh God, my lord, I now begin," Toxayak screams says as he kneels dow-"Toxayak! Look at the size of thy posy! Praise God, may his righteousness endureth forever". A notable Spanish priest by the name of Lucio, towers over Toxayak in body and spirit. A few words cut through the fast beating of Toxa's heart and the noise of his raising thoughts: "Thou cannot properly understand the wisdom thy work brings forth. The church will do with it. No ease to care for them. The Devil will fast hold your fate." Finally succumbing to the preacher's wishes, remaining still, Toxa raises his labor to the father's line of vision, thundering: "To God they belong, thine shall they be." The Shoshone's eyes slant in the direction of the ground, not fully acknowledging the priest, who makes off with the flowers carelessly damaging some of them. Finally, the catholic creates the shape of a cross on Toxa's forehead. His sorrow drowns in each stroke. His eyelids flutter into the empty distance as he observes the priest take his labor.

--

All the way back through the lake, Toxayak's body now shepherds him back into the mountain's summit, which seems farther away with every step he takes— inwardly barking at his legs to create movement. The wind is higher now, the wrath of a snow battery. As Toxa reaches his flora, not much is left from the morning. He fights his body to grab as much as he can of whatever is left around the mountain. After hours of searching, he falls to his knees once again, immediately looking up to see if the glimmering eyes would meet him and perhaps his fate.

-

Darkness.

-

Toxa's knees settle deeper into the snow. The wind howls, a soft chant that would create a sense of desolation in any heart. A plethora of trees surrounds him, hiding the daylight as his thought get deeper. SUDDENLY. He hears the sound of wood breaking; determining where the sound came from is impossible in the woods echo. He jumps up and steps toward the stone, caressing it with his hands, ready to climb up and away at the sign of danger. Finally, a smell of ash and petrichor merge into an ethereal scent that climbs up to his nose and then to the darkest part of the wood—a massive body, immobile, watching at him. At the head, two glimmering eyes shine out wide.

-

A POWERFUL screeching sound resonates all throughout the mountain. The sounds of a thousand owls merging into one. The eyes come out with tremendous aggression toward Toxayak, quickly morphing into a flying creature that carefully lands on top of the bare body of an ashen woman with hair that is on fire. Immodest and vulgar. Toxa's gaze lays on the subtle curves of the woman that pop out of the soil. He wonders if her skin is soft. Her eyes open violently for a brief moment, and in them, Toxa can only see the depth of the lake. A long look holding his world suspended. The lake and mountain—suspended.

--

The woman's eyes now faintly see the door of Toxa's house, catching a glimpse of the inside through a crevice in the middle of it. Tenampi lays on the bed, passively asleep. On Toxa's shoulder, the woman rests naked and unconscious. Once in and in very tired motions, he places her in his place of sleep, covering her and kissing his son goodnight. Gaze drifting back to the woman's skin. He stands up to touch it while she lays. His conjecture proves true, the softest thing he's ever felt—even the pink of her breast. There is something familiar in the way he caresses her.

"I go with your body; burning bright. My eyes cover you like poison oak. You are a mountain doused by fire. If I touch near the fire, it extends from you to me. A fire that could never be extinguished or forgotten. As long as you live, it will exist in your eyes without leaving mine."

-

BEURK!

-

Toxa is woken up by the sound of his son retching out vomit made up of food and blood equally. As Toxa lays half on top of him, he gets some of it on himself. He jumps out of his position in disgust, jerking into an immovable body. Both of the men's eyes widen with surprise as they lock eyes with the bare woman who stands in front of them, unaffected. Both men are enthralled and hesitant of the richness in her eyes. The woman speaks in a language they cannot understand. Her tongue scurries, and her lips clap like wet maza: "(...)". Tenampi murmurs: "Siwacoalt."

All in one motion, Toxa takes his hand across his child's sickened face to discipline him, to eventually catch him when Tenampi would fail to do it himself. The kid, looking at his father's trembling hand, says, not scared, "The gods have us a new mother, can you bear it true." Toxayak, magniloquent: "So it is not, fool, thy woman finds favor with the north kin. Perhaps no longer so..."

BEURK! MORE VOMIT.

Toxa rushes in to help the boy with a wet cloth. The woman begins to speak loudly. Her pitch cuts through the older man's ear and into his head, where distaste for it begins to grow. About to ask her to shut up, Tenampi weakly interrupts Toxa: "She need not our bickering...but our labor" Toxa breaks away from the bed and stands up. The woman points at the basket; only very few shrubs of the red flowers and a few fruits remain. Hesitantly, he hands the remaining shrubs to the woman.

Kettle. Fire.

The woman's gaze is focused on the burning red color of the flowers. She takes a small piece of yarn and wraps the petals together. The remaining husk amount to a couple wraps, which she slowly adds to the water. As they submerge, the water releases a potent aroma. The woman's gaze is deep into the water. She can see the shrubs touch the bottom of the pot. As they do: Toxa swiftly raises a rebozo he seems to have made appear by way of magic and enshrouds the woman's nude figure. She doesn't seem faced by this. Her attention lies on the broth.

"Does thou need more space in which to conjure thy physic?" asks Tenampi to the woman. Not being understood, Tenampi reaches for his mother's mud pot. It's heavily decorated with ancient symbols and a bear's head at the side. The woman's face lights up as she slowly but intently grabs both sides and goes to put it by the fire.

The water boils as the day resumes, and the current wind promises another storm. Knowing there is no more food out for them to eat tonight, Toxa steps out while the woman prepares her panacea. A spear in his hand, some rope in his back. Whatever he can get to eat will probably be good. Toxa's eyes try to lock onto Tenampi's, but his son's tired eyes are focused on the woman.

--

Once more through the mountain and away from home. Toxa's eyes now follow a rabbit that hops with insouciance. As the rabbit comes to a halt, the man pulls the rope from his back, his fingers taking control of his emotions. Running the dry tips of his fingers through the coarse material as he forms a running knot. Suddenly, without breaking contact with the beast, Toxa jumps toward it to capture it...

Nothing,

mere snow around his grip. Tears fall onto his fingers and then the rope, moistening both. He pushes his eyelids closer together to prevent further discharge, applying more strength as his feelings intensify. Blood starts running from his own hand as he clenches his fist in defeat. A quick glance up, the rabbit runs into the wood where his eyes begin to shine in the dark. May it be the hunger or the cold, but his gaze begins to blur, and the countenance submerges into the snow.

DARKNESS

Toxayak's eyes open, and he can see the inside of his home from the crack in his door. On the corner of the window, two glimmering eyes look at Toxayak—frivolous. The woman, barely covered by the shawl, caresses her center with the left hand bringing it up to her mouth. Her white teeth pierce her own skin powerfully like a knife would butter. As her blood blends with the flower catholicon, she introduces her hand into the mixture and then rubs it down Tenampi's bare body.

--

A POWERFUL clenching noise awakens Toxa. His eyelids fail to open completely. Then a screech. His gaze finally affirms the same rabbit, taunting him. Once more, he is determined to leap forward. Hands tight on the rope, a quick jump forward.

--

The blood runs thick, staining the snow.

--

Inside Toxayak's house, his glance set on a charcoaled body that sits on top of the fire. It is unclear if the body belongs to any animal. Tenampi lays on his bed, fully clothed. Transient. The woman looks over Tenampi, a soft grin on her face. The remedy broth is now gone, and the kid seems worse than before. Tenampi returns the grin.

"EAT," says Toxa to the woman while pointing to the remains of the rabbit. She stands up, looking at his acquisitions instead, grabbing one of the pieces of fruit and directly biting into it. Toxa scowls, his eyebrows falling deeper with every uncouth bite. She turns back to Tenampi's bed and suddenly stops. Her eyes widen, her step decelerates, and her hands reach for the wall next to the bedding. She takes her soft finger and removes the drying mud off the wall, revealing a fresh painting: A tall creature devoid of gender or ethnicity with a big head in the shape of a poorly drawn triangle. Ripples in its eyes. Its body, covered in red and dressed in fur. In its hands a long staff, an open eye at the head. "Heathen! Bimertherd with the filth of false gods! Dispose of it as I wilt." says Toxa frantically "I beg thy Christ save me child, not in the name of my dammed wife but out of mercy for the lost. Tenampi has no significant reaction. With extreme discomfort in his extremities, he turns around and does not speak a word; various protuberances in the back of his neck are now exposed. His father gets lost in it, slowly drifting back to the painting on the wall. Which slowly turns into-

--

The glimmering eyes. Once again, Toxayak can tell the inside of his home through the crack in his door. The glow in the eyes begins to faint; surrounding them is a body full of fur, where the waves reveal the face of what would be an old man, falling into a gown at the bottom and horns at the top. It stands taller than any man Toxa had ever seen. The creature slowly approaches Tenampi and the woman as they sleep. Toxa, immobile, can only observe as it covers Tenampi in the same solution he thought he saw the woman do before. Tenampi's body, now fully covered in red, remains unconscious. Full stop. It shifts its gaze toward Toxa, locking eyes. If the sun existed inside the eyes of the beast, he would now experience an eclipse inside his own retina. He gets up from his kneeling position, trying to open the door.

"You take on the likeness of a beast. The image of all brute creations. Destructive oak that grows over me, dividing me, rendering me useless. Faces of a radiant flame. Hearts warmth and tenderness of a soul you cannot claim, These are false image-

Unable to finish his sentence, and in the same motion, he wakes up as he falls from the crouched position he slept on. He shifts his gaze up to Tenampi's bed, which now remains empty. Instead, Tenampi rests bare on the woman's arms, but she has a bruise in one of her breasts as if they had been suckled. Toxa's firstborn looks sickly. The protuberances on his body worsen, and his soul seems...fleeting. In a matter of seconds, Toxa stands up, yelling at the woman to put clothes on. The commanding voice startles the woman enough to make her stand up, revealing in Tenampis face dry red markings. All in succession and without thought, he whispers, "witch." A quick turn toward the door reveals. a dirt footprint bigger than any man would think possible at the entrance. "You have his blood upon thy hands!". Toxa stumbles outside of the house, barely getting his shoes on his feet, "Christ will punish you."

--

The storm that began the night before is only now reaching its climax. The ice flowing through the air pierces the skin. Every bit of human discharge freezes, rendering Toxa virtually blind, unable to produce sound. Toxa is now focused only on whatever lies ahead, avoiding any object from meeting his sight. Every fiber in his body belongs to the wind as if he were becoming one with the storm.

"A space with nothing in it, a world with nothing in it. A world that has nothing in it except me. Losing grasp on who I am, fading with the snow. I know not my own shape; I lack anyone who can tell me. No barrier exists in which I could see myself."

Back in Toxa's house, while Tenampi sleeps. The beast of the mountain reveals itself to the woman, the door opening violently with the powerful breeze. In its limbs, the most significant amount of Winter Health rests steadily. In one movement, he deposits them on the table and comes close to hug the woman. Its large, richly embroidered fur limbs take her slender white shoulders. His shiny clawlike fingers and flaky skin slowly shroud the woman's rebozo. It falls off her body. She closes her eyes, giving in to the overwhelming feeling the beasts presence brings about.

"My hands open thy curtains of your being. Clothe you in a further nudity. Uncover bodies of your body, make up another body for thy body."

--

Toxa finally reaches the town's cathedral, frantically running toward the massive lock on the cathedral's entrance. BANG! BANG! BANG! Waking up the Shoshone man, who quickly stands up to get closer to him, "What is thou-" He is interrupted by priest Lucio, who greets Toxa as he recounts the events that just succeeded in perfect order. Flowers, woman, sickness, beast, witch, death. Surprisingly, as he gets deeper into his story, the priest's gaze only gets more assertive, while the Soshone's, who is listening attentively, gets more distraught."The woman had bewitched my son ill. I know not what I saw! She had made a covenant with death! Oh lord, from evil I will turn to thee. None ever shall destroy my faith. Our father who art in heaven....

"Don't pay mind to a fool father, just a way for a beggar to beg for a place in this town". Says the Shoshone, suggesting with his eyes that Toxa should stop. "No, I know consummately. Slander thy brethren no more. Let us help. Not need waste a second" The father locks the door and leaves.

"She is no witch. Thee would understand if not abandon the gods practices. Yet these lies from thy mouth are but trifles to them. Your end in ye hands you will find," says the Shoshone, finally bursting out the rage his calm demeanor pretends to hide.

"Only God can help me".

The priest comes back with a man dressed in attire resembling a bird, only showing the eyes that lock with Toxa's.

--

As they come back to the house, the wind only allows them to see the light inside of it, finally landing on the crack, from which Toxa can see the woman, who floats above Tenampi, locking lips, moist falling all over. Further in the back, he can see the beast looking at the woman from outside the back window. "The devil lies within!" Toxa yells, "Oh lord! Rid of the beast" The man in dress opens the door, cross in hand, only to reveal an empty house, with a kid sleeping, worse than he ever looked. Toxa's gaze is locked on the window, his jaw locked wide.

"Alright, go make due," The priest speaks. The man in the bird getup takes out a stick from the holster on his waist and strikes Toxa at the nape. He falls onto his knees and then onto his face.

DARKNESS.

A few minutes later, unnoticed, he wakes to the same man, pouring an oil-like liquid on every square inch inside the house. Finally, drenching Tenampi with the last of it. Tenampi manages to open a single eye. Both native men meet eyes. A flash. Tenampi bursts into flames as the man in dress hovers a torch on top of his head. His gaze turns to Tenampis's drawing, which, despite the fire, remains unaffected. A series of screams are muffled by the void in which Toxa's mind floats. Trembling, Toxa awkwardly crawls out of his home, finally stopping as he reaches the door. He locks eyes with the creature, which limbs grab him out, into the forest.

--

Half visible in the darkness is a dime of women: old, young, in their middle years, one with a horse for a head, another attached to the ground. All appear distorted by the storm happening around them. The witches stand in a circle of red flowers and blood, holding hands and chanting, slowly moving in coordinated dance. Toxayak, now dragged to the center of the display, is met by a woman that at first glance resembles the woman he married but then is revealed to be the woman from the mountain. He is drawn to her, slowly rising toward her, only to continue toward the sky as the chants get bigger.

When I die, I want your sight to turn ablaze to my eyes. And the ashes of my charcoaled body to go through your hair once more."

The women begin to laugh. Toxa laughs a little too, blushing..with every passing moment, his sorrows melt away. He begins to burn from the inside out, a final smile as he focuses on the sun.

Finally, a healthy-looking Tenampi is revealed in the center of the circle created by the women. "Mom" is the last word he utters as he walks hand in hand with the witches and nature's spirit into the wood.