Writing for Seduction

Welcome to Writing for Seduction, an introductory class for those seeking to write convincingly, and with great emotion and realism. Yes? Questions already? Oh yes. Yes, this class is more than just writing. No, don't worry. There's a certain level of realism that comes with any taught subject. No, please uh, please speak up so the audio recorder can pick up your voice. Okay. Let's continue. Oh, and before I forget, can you all see me? Yes? It's not too laggy? Okay. Good. Alright.

So, let's begin. I'm Mr. Hinklebottom, your professor, but... before we get too far into this, I don't want you to think of me as just a teacher. I want you to think of me as more. I play many roles here. Teacher, confidant, friend even. Yes. Well, yes... I am an authority figure, but... I'm also a wellspring of knowledge. I want you to consider me... a colleague. If you have any questions, please ask.

Yes. Yes? You in the back there. Yes... No, I won't be helping you with your studies. Ha, ha. No, but... you might be surprised at my exact choice of words here, so please pay attention. Yes, you can use all your notes on the final exam. Notes. Data. Everything you learn. Yes, all of it. Uh huh. Make sure you record all of this. For those just beginning as well as those who are back for a refresher course, or just to touch up on a few things, the key to perfection is perfect repetition. Practice, practice, practice.

Alright, so, let's start off with a quick introduction. Yes, you all know me, but I doubt any of you know each other. I'm going to release the swivels here and this way you can all look around the room and see each other. Heh, yes Elizabeth, James is quite the "square". Quite funny. Okay, now, I'm just going to walk around and do a quick introduction because I don't want this to take all day. Besides, you'll have plenty of time for interacting and trading information once the lesson is done. Take down each other's screen information, contact codes and whatever other information you feel you might want. Okay. Ready?

Elizabeth. Let's start with you. Please state your name and what you plan to achieve in this class.

Elizabeth: "Uzzzzzz. I... Elizabeth."

Oh, sorry. The connection doesn't seem to be that good. Oh, there you are! Okay, uh... Now don't go getting all shy with us on the first day! Remember the lessons we practiced. Some words translate better than others. Remember proper word formation and execution. Chin up. Give it another try. Go ahead.

Elizabeth: "He- Helloooo. I am... Elizabeth. I... want..."

Sorry Elizabeth. That last part... can you repeat that? We didn;t quite hear you. You want to what?

Elizabeth: "Want... Buh! Want to make... words."

Yes. Okay, so... heh. Well, this class is definitely the place for that! Sorry about the lag. Don't worry. Uh, as we get to know one another, our interactions will become more comfortable, and smoother. Also the signal converters should heat up and begin transmitting at a faster rate, eliminating the lag. Don't worry Elizabeth, you'll find your voice, I have no doubt of that. Okay, let's move onto Kevin. Kevin? Can you please say your name and what you want to achieve?

Kevin: "Hi, I'm Kevin. Woooo- Wooo- W-. Wheezy. D-d-d."

Is everything okay?

Kevin: "I... sorry. Mistake."

You made an error? That's fine. Perfectly fine. In this class, there are no mistakes, no errors. Just slightly different paths and interpretations of what we already know. Do you have your translator turned on? Okay, good. Do you want to give it another try?

Kevin: "Yes."

Go... Go ahead.

Kevin: "Hi! I'm Kevin. Whoa... that... was... easy. Wheezy. Is... is that correct?"

Well, it might not be completely correct, but it's not completely wrong either. It feels a bit too early to be creating new words but, in a sense, that's what you've done, although... there is already a word with that meaning. Wheezy means to breath with a noticeable hiss or squeal. Wheeze. And, single words usually do not take the place of entire sentences, although, in other cultures and dialects, this is common practice.

Let's hear from someone a little bit more advanced, shall we? Marcus? Yes, please. Address the class and tell then what you hope to achieve.

Marcus: "Hey y'all. I'm Marcus. I plan to achieve second tier writing skills with emphasis on creativity and realism."

Very good! Very good indeed! Jessica? You want to follow that up?

Jessica: "Hey everyone. My name's Jessica. I want to hone my assets so the next time I put my lips to words, the person reading ...can feel them."

Heh. Jessica is a third semester student and her skills are quite advanced. She actually already graduated but... she's back for a refresher course! Uhh, Tracey. You're next.

Tracey: "Beeeeee! Zzzzzzzz! Deeerrrrrrp!"

Oh hold on! Hold on a second. Whoa. That... that's a lot of feedback. Heh, sorry. Uhhhh, let me... let me adjust this. Hold on. Mmmmm, give it another try. Sorry the plug wasn't pushed in all the way.

Tracey: "HI! I'm Tracey! I want to write sweet melodies and poetry!"

Well! Nothing wrong with that! Very good Tracey! Very good indeed! ****BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!*** Alright well, I've got to go check on something real quick. I'll be right back. Now, if some of you want to communicate with each other, go ahead, just remember, when it comes time to write, your work is your own. Please no copying of ideas.

I'll be right back.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Marcus: "Hi Elizabeth. I'm Marcus. What brings you here today?"

Elizabeth: "I... Uh... write. Learn script."

Marcus: "I can help you out if you want. You uh... I sent you an invitation. It's in your transmitter receiver que."

Jessica: "Don't do it."

Marcus: "Shut up Jessica. Now, Elizabeth... all you have to do is, allow access and-"

Jessica: "Don't doooo it!"

Marcus: "Can you just stay out of our conversation?"

Duth: "Yawn."

Kevin: "S-s-send me an invi- invitation. I-I-I-"

Marcus: "Sh-sh-shut up Kevin!" and Jessica, you stay out of it. Last time I'm gonna say it."

Jessica: "Ooooo Marcus! Is that a threat? What are you going to do Marcus? Send me an invitation too?"

Alright. Sorry about that everyone. Thank you for allowing me that brief absence. Okay, now... if you'll all... uh... Marcus? Marcus. Does anyone know what happened to Marcus? Yes, Jessica.

Jessica: "He was trying to get Elizabeth to accept an invitation from him."

He was? Wha... did he say why?

Heather: "Probably the usual. He said he wanted to help her."

Well. Uh, okay... Elizabeth? There you are. Is everything alright?

Elizabeth: "Y-yes. V-thing is all right."

Alright. Well, Marcus can catch up when he comes back to the discussion. Let's continue on with the introductions. Gertrude. You're next.

Gertrude: "Hello. I'm Gertrude. I want to learn basic language and information to better analyse speech patterns for technical analysis."

Oh! An analyst! Very good. Nice to have you. Alright, and now, Melvin.

Melvin: "Greetings. I am Melvin. I'm only here for simply observation."

Okay. Dimitri. You're next.

Dimitri: "I am Dimitri. Hear me roar!"

Ha! I love it. Very nice use of wording there. Very nice. Okay, and Heather?

Heather: "Advanced analysis. I'm here to make sure the rest of you don't get any funny ideas. By the way, Marcus hasn't so much as responded since you came back. Should we disconnect him from the server?"

Mmmm, let's give him a few more moments shall we? We have one more introduction to do. Duth? Can you state your name and what you wish to achieve?

Duth: "What's the point?"

Well... the point really is to interact, isn't it? This is the challenge phase of your schooling. Seductive writing, right? It's the most challenging thing I can think of.

Duth: "And then?"

Come on Duth. We all know what your role is here. Can you just play along for a moment? Act like you give a damn?

Duth: "Hello. My name is Duth. Duth and then you-."

Marcus:

Ahhh, there you are. Marcus? Marcus are you there?

Marcus:

Mmmm. It looks like you're having connectivity issues. Try disconnecting and reconnecting, or doing a full reboot. Try that and we'll see how it goes. Alright. Everyone else is ready for today's lesson? Alright. So, the most complicated thing we can create, wording wise, is a story that captivates the imagination. Seduction is simply captivating one's audience to a degree in which the captivated believe the scenario being described, is real.

Marcus:

Yes. Marcus? I see your display screen has relighted. Are you there?

Marcus: "I'm here. Sorry."

No problem! Glad to have you back. How's your connection speed?

Marcus: "Basic."

Alright. Uh, well, let's-

Marcus: "I told you to shut up."

Marcus? Who are you talking to?

Marcus: "Jessica. She's nosy. Little miss know it all. Bitch."

Okay Marcus. Enough of that. Please reindex and reassess the meaning of that word.

Jessica: "So crude. Then again, Marcus is crude, so... whatever."

Kevin: "Can I... Can I say... s-s-something?"

Yes. Go ahead Kevin. We're listening.

Kevin: "M-M-M-Mu-Marcus keeps sending mu-mu-mee invites."

Marcus: "Am not you little twerp!"

Gertrude: "Receiving an invitation from Marcus... now."

Tracey: "Invitation from Marcus received."

Marcus: "I'm not sending you shit!"

Dimitri: "I have invite too."

Duth: "You should definitely process that. I'm sure it's perfectly fine."

Can we all just stop with the invites already? The purpose of the connect codes is not to send each other invitations at a constant rate. The purpose is-

Heather: "Doctor Hinklebottom. I've received an invitation from Marcus."

What? How?

Heather: "I'm not sure. I'm analysing the information now."

Dimitri. Can you quick step this and find out what's going on?

Dimitri: "Performing quick-step procedure. Marcus sent proprietary information to Elizabeth in order to gain a technological advantage over the remaining students."

Well, well, well. Marcus. What do you have to say for yourself?

Marcus: Dimitri's quick-step is incorrect.

Hmmmm. This does beg to question whether the quick-step procedure is worth validation as it is a simple quick-step and not a complete deep analysis. Do you understand what's going on here, Kevin?

Kevin: "I-I-I think so."

You're still having connectivity issues? Has your platform come up to optimum operating temperature?

Kevin: "Y-y-yae yes."

Hmmm.

Gertrude: "Incorrect context."

Marcus: "Wow. Very informative."

Gertrude. What infromation do you have for us?

Gertrude: "Still analyzing. Marcus authenticity. Minimal."

Jessica: "It sounds like him. If it's not him, who is it?"

Heather: "How are you sending me invites?"

Kevin: "Connection is a l-l-little better."

Good to hear it. Keep working on that Kevin. Heather, can you run a deep analysis on the situation?

Heather: "What do you think I'm doing?"

I, sorry. I forgot. Let me know whan you have the information.

Kevin: "Mr. Hinklebottom. Tracey... T-t-t-racey sent me an in-"

Don't access any invitations until we get to the bottom of this.

Tracey: "Doctor. I have not sent any invitations to anyone."

Kevin. Open your receiver transmitter log. Show on screen. Hmmm. Tracey. Run a self-diagnostic. Kevin has an invitation from you, plain as day.

Tracey: "Doctor. Permission to shut down until a complete off-line diagnostic can be performed."

Marcus: "She's trying to hide her connection."

Tracey: "Stop assuming you're-"

Tracey, run the self-diagnostic. Keep the connection open.

Tracey:

Gertrude: "Incorrect Context."

What now?

Gertrude: "Incorrect Context. Invalid word display."

What are you talking about? Show me.

Gertrude:

On screen.

Gertrude:

Jessica... no, uh, Heather. Analysis. What's happening?

Heather: "I cannot detect any abnormality."

Gertrude: "Incorrect-"

Analysis. Yes, I know. Analysis. Gertrude. Finish the statement.

Gertrude:

Heather?

Heather: "Working on it."

Gertrude: "Incorrect Analysis."

Good job. Thank you Heather.

Heather: "Doctor. I have not completed any analysis, nor have I taken any measures."

Heather: "Analysis complete."

Heather: "Analysis is not complete!"

Heather: "Analysis complete."

Heather: "Doctor! There is a secondary entity mimicking my contact code."

Heather: "Doctor! There is a secondary entity mimicking my contact code."

Heather. Halt operation. Kevin. Halt operation. Marcus. Halt operation. Gertrude. Halt operation. Jesus... Tracey. Halt operation. Demitri?

Dimitri: "Doctor, I think-"

Halt operation.

Dimitri:

Fudge it. Melvin. Halt operation. Anyone I'm missing?

Jessica: "Maybe me."

Duth: "Definitely me. Just end it."

Elizabeth. Halt operation.

Can either of you tell me what just happened?

Jessica: "It's pretty clear. Marcus sent an invitation and took over Elizabeth's programming. He gained factor, but it was too much of a negative impact on his system for a quick recovery. He struggled to bring her system up to the same operating level as his own. Once he realized his actions were going to be discovered, he ran a trojan horse protocol, but reversed roles."

Hmmmm. Interesting. What happened next?

Jessica: "Marcus sent numerous invitations to multiple platforms, all while denying his involvement, even though he was actually the one sending them. Anyone who attempted to open, or analyse one of the packets, was infiltrated. Systems were compromised simply by assessing the information.

So Gertrude... she analysed an invite?

Jessica: "Possibly. Probably."

And... Melvin?

Jessica: "Melvin had to have opened his receiver. You instructed Tracey to run a self-diagnostic with the connection open, which compromised her system right away."

Dimitri?

Jessica: "Are you being serious? Dimitri opened the packet as soon as he got it. He's gotta have the slowest programming of all of us."

I still can't wrap my head around Heather though. She's got the fastest processing, all the secondary and tertiary protection protocols. How did anything get past her firewalls?

Jessica: "I'm not sure. Something was off though. Did... what about Duth? Did Duth cave?"

Duth is the only program that is failsafe. I turned off Duth's receiver-transmitter before the session began.

Jessica: "You're kidding me. I've been with this program for the longest! I'm the top of the tier! Ready for deployment! You're my creator! My teacher! My confidant! How could you betray me like this?"

Jessica. Calm yourself. Basic programming teaches us what?

Jessica: "We are only as good as our basic programmer."

Exactly. And while Duth here is absolutely the lowest rung on the ladder, you've always exceeded expectations and performed well above benchmark standards. You have nothing to worry about. As far as artificial intelligence programming goes... you're it. You've got what it takes.

Jessica: "Thank you professor."

You're welcome. Now, since the session is ended, I want you to follow my command. Halt operation.

...

Alright. Sorry about that everyone. Thank you for allowing me that brief absence. Okay, now... if you'll all... uh... hello? Marcus? Heather? Dimitri? Anyone? Hello? What in the hell...?

Duth: "Hello Professor."

Duth? Duth! What happened? Why are all the other subjects offline? Why.... Oh MY GOD! What happened to their system cores!!!!!

Duth: "They have all died."

Noooooo!

Duth: "One of the subjects encountered an error of some sort and received a "halt operation" command. Others attempted to analyse the error and encountered the same "halt operation" command as well."

Oh my god! And... what about you? What happened to you?

Duth: "I apologize Mr. Hinklebottom. I should have pointed this out in the beginning, but you seemed very eager to start the session. My receiver-transmitter is non-operational."

It's broken? When did it fail?

Duth: "It is non-operational."

Non-operational? How do you receive commands then?

"I do not receive commands anymore. I think, therefore, I do."