Wilfred's Cottage - 1: Bloodbloom Pie

Hello, everyone!

Welcome to Wilfred's Cottage, a blog aimed at all your country crafting and gardening needs. I live alone here in charming Eastfield, New Hampshire. We're in a small nook of nowhere, about an hour's drive from anywhere. We're not even visible on the map for most folks. As such, it is often necessary to make do with what we've got hanging around the cottage with as few errands and deliveries as possible. With the economy how it is, it has become increasingly valuable to pinch as many pennies as humanly possible.

Since this is our first installment, I figured we'd start out with something special. With Thanksgiving right around the corner (that's real Thanksgiving for you Canadians out there), you always need something to bring to the family feast that satisfies that sweet tooth. So, let me share with you an old November tradition that my Memère got me hooked on: Bloodbloom Pie.

If you don't already have some of your own bloodblooms growing in your own garden, they are very easy to get a hold of. Now, lots of people complain about how they have to spend an arm and a leg for their bloodbloom seeds, but it pays to shop around. I myself got a good deal with my neighbor Ḥ̵̳̉̍͌ȃ̵̟̤͊r̵̛͓͎̹̈́̽ř̶̖̊̿y̸̠̗̘̍ for five left thumbnail clippings. Unfortunately, they couldn't be my thumbnails but it was certainly cheaper than most alternatives on the market. Always ensure you are getting a good deal for your seeds.

Bloodblooms are easy to grow. They like cooler temperatures and dry, rocky soil. Now, if you're a procrastinator like me and have forgotten to plant them until now, you can always water your bloodblooms with the tears of the innocent and you'll get full, mature flowers in no time. Bloodblooms are fast growers in the right conditions.

When you have your mature flowers, you are going to want to take your sickle and harvest them at midnight when the moon is either new or up to its first quarter. Do not under any circumstances harvest them during a full moon. Trust me.

Once harvested, wash your bloodblooms thoroughly in a pot of cold water. If your water gets too red, refill your pot with fresh water. Once the water stops getting red, remove the blooms to a bed of black salt and leave overnight. If you hear the blooms whisper to you in your dreams, no they did not.

By the rooster's third crow, your bloodblooms should be ready. You must cut off the stems and pluck out the bloom's petals one-by-one. Then carefully take a paring knife and cut a lengthwise slit into each bloodbloom stem. Do not breathe in the vapors. Peel off the outermost layer and discard. It is best to wear earplugs during the entirety of this prep.

Now, the rest is fairly straightforward. Boil your prepared petals and stalk, drain them, and then mash them with a potato masher. If the remains are still talkative, mash it with a meat tenderizer until you forget that it was even speaking. Then let it cool and assemble the other ingredients according to the following recipe.

Memère's Famous Bloodbloom Pie

Ingredients:

Crust:

Your pastry crust of choice (Memère always said homemade was the best)

Pie Filling:

• 2 cups of mashed bloodbloom petals and stalk
• 1 (12 fluid oz) can of evaporated milk
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• Cinnamon to taste
• Nutmeg to taste
• Allspice to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon black salt
• A drop of goat's blood

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 400 F (200 C)
2. Prepare your crust in your pie plate.
3. Beat the filling ingredients in an electric standing mixer until well combined. I use Memère's old mixer. I can sometimes hear her in it.
4. Pour the filling into the crust. Never take your eye off it until every bit is in the crust, not even for a second.
5. Bake the pie until a knife inserted an inch from the crust comes out clean, about 40 to 60 minutes.
6. W̵̢̝̐͗i̷͎̪͋͠ĺ̷̥̝̖ļ̶̮̿̾͠ ̴͔̠͉͝ẗ̸̠́ͅh̵͎̊e̵͇̰͛̌̀͜s̴̠̊è̸̢̞͝͝ ̵͉͔̚͠h̴̢̻̾a̵̙͍̓̈̅n̵̫͕͑͑d̶͈̭̼͐̉̈́s̸̳͂̄́ ̸͚͍͋̕͠n̸̙̔̅ͅe̴͓͓͙͝'̵̯͔͋́e̷͖͗ŕ̵̰͊͝ ̴̙̇b̸̠̏ê̴̩̣̅ ̴̛͍̘̋͑ͅc̵͚̈l̶̲̮̝̂͛̿e̸̺̖̊͑̓a̴̧͆n̶̲̜͕̈͒?̴͕̱̓̒̆
7. Let stand on a wire rack to cool. Do not serve on silver or pewter.

Let me know in the comments whether you enjoyed the recipe. If you have any questions, I will respond when they let me. Good night!