Why We Need To Talk About "It Ends With Us"

This is the last time I will warn you as a reader for spoilers! If you don't want to have the book, It Ends With Us, spoiled for you, move on to another read. If you haven't read this heart-wrenching novel, I highly recommend buying it from Amazon. I promise you will not regret it.

Now that we're past all of that - let's talk about It Ends With Us. I first read the novel by Colleen Hoover less than two months ago and have not been the same since.

Hoover is a masterful author who has left me in awe after many of her books (Verity, Reminders of Him, and Ugly Love are a few of her most popular books). The ways in which she is able to illustrate budding romances, sexual tension, and twists her stories are impressive for the genre. Concepts that may otherwise have been thought of as cheesy or unimpressive are eloquently laid out on the pages in front of you. Topics that are more difficult and sensitive in nature, Hoover is able to navigate in a mindful, respectful manner.

Now, as much as I highly recommend reading all of her books, I must say some of the limitations I have found in her books as well. One major note I have in regards to Hoover's writing is that most, if not all, of her books have very limited representation. Yup, just like the majority of famous books in history, most of Hoover's books follow a white, heterosexual, cisgender couple. So if diversity is something you are looking for in a book, maybe look in another direction.

Enough of me harping on Hoover's impeccable writing skills - let's get to why we're really here. It Ends With Us. Let me just begin by saying, I read the entire book in the matter of one night, staying up into the wee hours of the morning as the sun poked its head out beyond the horizon. But please, don't let me get all poetic on you.

I found the main character, Lily, incredibly relatable. She is a young, motivated, tattooed gal who is flirty and sassy. I loved the way Hoover depicted her through her story. Coming from a background of watching her mother be brutally abused by her father, there is remorse she feels towards her mother for not standing up for herself.

And then, Hoover introduces some of the most painful story writing I've experienced in a long time. Maybe it is because I am currently working at a domestic violence agency that I have a particularly soft spot for those who have been in abusive relationships.

Domestic violence is so much more complicated than we believe it to be from an outside perspective. It is easy for us to say, "just leave them" if someone is hit by their significant other, but it isn't that simple to many people. There are so many more layers to why people stay in relationships with people who hurt them.

Hoover does an incredible job in her writing at illustrating ambiguity and dialectic. You can love someone and they can hurt you. Ryle hits Lily not only once, but twice. Both times, Lily excuses him for hitting her and even for pushing her down the stairs as just a single moment when he lost control. He didn't mean it. He apologized profusely. He would never do it again. He loves her. She loves him.

Then he hits her a third time.

At this point in the story, I saw this coming, and I think many other readers did as well. It is in the days of reflection and in talking to Atlas, her childhood best friend and love, that I found myself inconsolable. This is the moment she realizes she can't go back - no matter how much she wants to.

I find myself looming on this time in the book much like Lily spent her time wondering herself, and I think there are many reasons why these pages are so thoughtfully explored. This is the moment where most people become stuck - because it can be so damn hard to leave the ones we love.

And just like that, Hoover throws Lily and the audience another curveball - Lily is pregnant. With Ryle's baby.

To be completely honest, upon reading this twist in the book, I was confused why she never considered abortion. Obviously, the baby adds a layer of complications to her situation and for a more intriguing story - but I'd like to think that could have been an option for her. It is also important for me and other audience members thinking similarly to me that abortion is not always an option for everyone.

So, what does Lily do? Does she leave him and raise her baby as a single mother? Does she share the responsibilities, but not get back together? Maybe this is her saving grace, and he will finally mean he'll never hurt her again if there's a baby involved?

We follow her journey through her pregnancy and slowly start to carefully reintegrate Ryle back into her life, allowing him to help with setting up for when the baby arrives. There is still some thought of getting back together, though Lily is understandably reluctant due to the abuse. She has a decision to make.

It isn't until their baby is born, and Ryle is sitting with them in the hospital when Lily looks him in the eyes and tells him they're not getting back together.

Upon reading that, I completely broke down in tears. I was so proud of Lily's strength and tenacity. She was so vulnerable at that moment and still chose the best decision for her and her daughter.

And though I was so immensely proud of Lily for choosing to leave Ryle for good, part of me wondered if I too could be so strong. If I were faced with the same decision, would I be able to leave the person I love?

Intimate partner violence is prevalent and goes far beyond the pages of this book.

The reason I think it is so important to talk about this book is because the issues of domestic violence are so rampant and not talked about. Someone close to you could be experiencing abuse in their home, and you may never know.

Domestic violence can look like many things. Anywhere from physically hurting to verbally manipulating or yelling. From sexual abuse to manipulating someone financially. Domestic violence can also look like someone manipulating another based on their spirituality or religion. Even cyber abuse is becoming more and more real.

The same goes beyond just intimate partner violence, but with child abuse and family violence as well.

I am so grateful for Hoover for writing this book. Not only for starting the conversation about domestic violence, but for shining a light that this is a serious issue that can happen to anyone.

This is such an incredible, heartwrenching read. If you read this article without reading the book, I implore you to go get a copy from Amazon and read it.

Thank you.

If you or someone you know is in an domestic violence emergency, please call or text 911.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Support Hotline (1.800.799.7233). You can also text their hotline by texting "START" to 88788.

You are not alone.