WHY?

Why do I still crave your love?

Why do I still care if you're okay? Why do I still long to hear your voice, even after all the pain you caused me? You hurt me deeply—you betrayed me over and over again like I was never enough. You left me searching for reasons, while you went searching for love somewhere else. But deep down… you knew that wasn’t love. What I gave you was real. It was pure. It was unconditional.

Maybe you thought I’d always be there, no matter what you did. And honestly… I was.

I stayed. I held on. I kept hoping.

But I got tired.

Tired of feeling invisible. Tired of being strong for someone who didn't see how much they were breaking me.

You didn’t seem to care that every choice you made chipped away at my soul. And even now, I don’t understand why my heart still screams for your love. Was it even love? Or just a desperate hope that if I gave you all of me, you'd finally see me?

I gave you everything.

I went against my own boundaries.

I did what I never thought I’d do—because I believed in “us.”

Because I believed we were meant to make it.

But love… love can hurt.

Love can break you.

Love can destroy everything you built within yourself.

Sometimes, love is just a fantasy that blinds you from reality.

It doesn’t matter what I hoped for. What matters is what really happened.

And now here I am… crying, not even sure what for.

Maybe it's because I know I couldn’t have loved you more than I did.

I gave you my body. I gave you my heart. I gave you my life.

And in the end, I was left asking,

What did they have that I didn’t?

But maybe that was never the question.

Maybe the real question is:

When will I start giving that same love to myself?