When Mothers Kill

"Take my children and give me a life back."

Tom heard her even as he was drifting off to sleep. He didn't open his eyes though he was alert for more words. Instead, he pressed his eyelids tight and focused all his attention on his ears. He wanted to hear all the words this time.

Maggie let out a quiet yawn and mumbled words he didn't make out.

He drifted off to sleep but woke up to Maggie's scream. He looked at her side of the bed and noticed it was empty. Instead, the sounds were coming from the baby monitor. He jumped out of bed and made his way to the children's room.

Maggie was on the floor crying. She had the baby on her nipple and the two-year-old screaming and pulling on her arm.

Tom got on the floor beside Maggie and stretched his hands to Ken.

"Nooooo. I want mommy." The toddler squeezed Maggie's arm, burying his face between her neck and shoulder. Maggie winced. Since the baby came home, Ken has been extra clingy and wants mummy to carry him as much as the baby. Tom rubbed Ken's back and looked at Maggie. She shut her eyes as tears trickled down her cheeks. He didn't recognize this Maggie. He wanted to help but felt helpless. He watched her rock herself with two little people on her. The tinier one breastfeeding looked like a leach sucking blood from its host.

About an hour later, Tom and Maggie were in their bed. Maggie crossed her arms on her belly and stared at the ceiling, muttering something. Tom leans toward her and whispers. 'You ok, hon?"

She closed her eyes and took a quick gulp of breath.

"Yes, I am ok." She said without opening her eyes.

"I don't have to go in tomorrow, you know, I can get another week off." Tom slides his palm in between her crossed hands. She did not move her hands and continued to speak without opening her eyes.

"That's what you said last week. You need to go to work because, now more than ever, we need the money.' She opened her eyes and met his gaze. "Let's get some sleep before it's time for the baby again." She rolled over and turned off the bedside lamp.

She opened her eyes, and Tom was looking at her.

"Good morning, Beautiful." He said with a big smile. "I still don't have to go in today, you know."

She pulled his face to hers and kissed him.

"I'd tell you what… if I need you during the day, I will call you." She shuffled, adjusting herself on the bed until he was on top of her.

He looked into her eyes and saw the sadness they talked about in therapy.

"Honey…your eyes don't sparkle." He said as he studied her face.

"I know. Maybe when you get back from work, we can try the exercises from therapy."

"We can try it now---"

They both hear the baby cooing from the baby monitor on the bedside table.

"I thought she might wake up," Maggie said as she made to get up. Tom leaned toward her and kissed her neck. "I love you." He whispered. He rolled over and climbed out of bed.

"I'd check on the boys." Maggie sat up and stretched both hands above her head, letting out and long yawn. "You should get ready so that you can be there on time.'

"Ok. I should shower." Tom went into the bathroom.

Maggie picked up the baby monitor and put it by her ear. She could hear the baby cooing as she walked toward her bedroom door.

She stopped suddenly. She thought she saw a figure move from the corner of her eye. She also heard whispers in her bedroom, but as she turned around, the voices stopped. She closed her eyes and put her hands over her ears. That's when she heard the baby crying.

She opened her eyes and ran toward her baby's room. The distance to the boy's room felt a little further than usual. She barged into the room and rushed to the baby's crib. She placed the baby monitor in the crib and picked her baby up to console him.

Moments later, Tom is on a work call at the dining table when he notices she stares at the table. The baby is breastfeeding, and Maggie has a look. He hangs up the call and walks over to her. He puts his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "Sure you don't need me around one more day?" He speaks so he doesn't disturb baby's sleeping-feeding." She places her palm on his and smiles. "We will be fine. You should go so you are back on time."

Tom kisses her on the forehead and heads toward the door. He stops by the entrance to kiss Ken too. "See you later, buddy." He says as he steps out the door.

Maggie is dozing off as she feeds the baby when she hears the whispers coming from the kitchen. She looks in the direction of the kitchen before calling Ken to her side. Ken picks up two lego blocks and walks over to her. She runs her fingers through his hair and looks at the sleeping infant.

She removes the baby from her breast and stands up. Then, cradling the baby in one hand and holding Ken in another, she walks into the kitchen. She leads Ken to the deep freezer and stops just in front of it. She lets go of Ken's hand and opens the freezer.

Cold steam rushes out of the freezer to meet her face. She gently places the sleeping infant in the freezer then knees before Ken, fiddling with the lego pieces. She kisses his forehead before picking him up and lowering him into the freezer.

"It's cold, mum." Ken drops the lego and looks up at Maggie.

"I know. It will be over soon." She closed the freezer lid and sat on it. She heard Ken and the baby crying.

"shhhhhh... it will all be over soon," Maggie says as she places both palms over her ears to keep the whispers out.

"Take my children and give me back my life."

She repeats these words until the crying stops, then she returns to the dining area, sits down, and pours herself a coffee.