What Little Girls Do

Sheila had lived all her life very much away from the rest of society. She liked to have at least one cow and usually five to eight chickens. All the animals were kept together in a large pen beside the small house that also included a chicken coop and a shed large enough for the cow. At one point, she even had a couple of horses. She grew her own herbs and crops and made most of her cooking from the fresh ingredients that were just a step away from the house.

Sheila became a single mother to her daughter Natalie when she was in her mid thirties. She had no intention to stay with the man who was responsible for this and he wasn’t even made aware of the pregnancy in the first place. Natalie and Sheila lived together cozily on their little ranch right up until Natalie’s fifth birthday. It was then that things were changing. Natalie was now old enough that she had to attend school.

The city they moved to was very populated but somehow eerily quiet. There were people all over the streets but they hardly talked. No one said hello to each other. No one acknowledged one another. In a city of 125,000 people, it was like no one even knew anyone else. This wasn’t at all what Sheila had pictured city life would be like, but the quietness calmed her and reminded her of home. She was in no rush to make friends so, all summer, she kept to herself just like everyone else. In September, Natalie was starting kindergarten.

On the first day of kindergarten, Natalie checked herself over and over again in the mirror.

”Mom,” she said, “could I put on some lipstick?”

“Absolutely not,” replied Sheila.

”What about just for the first day?” Natalie pestered.

”No,” Sheila insisted.

Natalie stood in front of the mirror brushing her hair and attempting to braid it. “I have to look good,” she said. “Eat your breakfast,” was Sheila’s reply.

The breakfast was leftover pizza. Living in the city meant Sheila didn’t cook as much. She ordered a lot of pizza.

”Do you think I’m getting fat?” Natalie asked, still examining herself in the mirror.

”You shouldn’t worry about such things at your age,” said Sheila.

Natalie took three more bites of pizza and then returned to the mirror. She again attempted to braid her hair.

“You fuss about your looks more than me,” said Sheila.

After six more bites of pizza, Natalie grabbed her backpack and loaded herself into the back of her mom’s van. Neither of them spoke much on the way to school, but Sheila could see that Natalie kept straining to try to look at herself in the rear view mirror. Sheila tilted it in such a way that Natalie couldn’t see herself.

In the country, the distance between everywhere is filled with emptiness and the drives feel longer than they actually are. In the city, everything is merged together. You can be at the mall and then at the grocery store five minutes later. Sheila liked this convenience.

Once they were at school, Sheila unknowingly pulled over in a bus lane.

”Will you walk me in?” Natalie asked.

“Of course,” said Sheila.

”Will you braid my hair?” Natalie asked.

”It’s too late. We’re already here.” said Sheila.

Natalie looked around. She was nervous. She spotted another little girl going into the school. Her hair was in braids. Natalie crossed her arms in front of her chest in jealousy. She kicked at the rocks near her feet. “Stop that,” said Sheila.

The school was one of the biggest buildings Sheila had ever seen. Inside, people talked. It was the first time since moving to the city that she actually felt the hustle-and-bustle of city living. The kids nattered to each other in high pitched voices and laughed in even higher pitches. They pushed and shoved each other playfully in the hallways. The school seemed to only get bigger as they walked through, trying to find the kindergarten class. Natalie reached up and held Sheila’s hand, something she hadn’t done since she was three years old.

The kindergarten classroom was on the west side of the school. They had entered from the east. They had to walk nearly the full length of the school before finding it. Natalie let go of her mom’s hand and went in. Sheila followed.

The room itself was rather welcoming. In the front was a whiteboard with the words WELCOME TO SCHOOL written on it in rainbow lettering. There were tables, chairs, and cubbies on the right side of the classroom, and beanbag chairs, musical instruments, and playhouses on the left. Some of the kids were already sitting down at the tables but most of them were enjoying the left side much more. Where is the teacher? thought Sheila, who was presently the only adult in the room.

Natalie gestured to Sheila to shoo her out. Sheila wasn’t going to leave until the teacher arrived.

The teacher, a big, fat lady with octagon glasses and floral print dress, came into the room, bypassed Sheila completely, and positioned herself in front of the white board. Natalie gestured to Sheila again and this time she did leave but paused outside of the classroom so she could listen. Natalie couldn’t see her.

”Good morning kindergarten,” she said loudly, “take your seats please.”

Sheila peeked in and saw the kids all silently fight over who would sit at the tables and who would sit in the beanbag chairs. She looked for Natalie, who was sitting alone at a table. A little girl with long braids sat beside her.

I like your braids,” said Natalie.

”Thanks,” said the girl.

Just as Sheila was leaving, she watched the little girl pull a compact mirror out of her backpack and begin admiring herself. Natalie strained to try to see herself in it too.