Waiting to See

"I got it! I got it!" Abbott backtracked, gloved-hand in the air, eyes never leaving the ball.

A soft thud as the ball landed in his glove and he stopped running, looked up, and a smile spread across his face.

"That's the last out!" Dan screamed. "We won!"

Brody and Charlie ran from second and third base, joined Abbott and Dan in the outfield, and the four laughed and screamed and hugged and fell over together. They high-fived the rest of their team, good-gamed the losing team, and made their way down Water Street.

"That double really turned the tide." Abbott said to Brody.

"Which one?" Brody smirked a little.

"The first one!" Abbot jostled Brody in a loving manner. "When we were only down one. And then Charlie, you drove him home, right?"

"Sure did." Charlie grinned. "And then ol' Danny Boy drove me home."

"Their third baseman almost caught that one." Dan chuckled. "I saw it go right past his glove."

"But he didn't. Hey, great game, guys. I'ma head home. See ya!" Charlie veered down Maple Road and waved farewell to everyone.

Abbott, Brody, and Dan kept talking about the game excitedly, highlighting all the best plays. Abbott began making jokes about the other players in his rude, yet funny way, incurring many snorts from the other two. His street came up so he said bye and hurried off. Brody and Dan kept walking until they reached their street, shuffling down.

"My mom made pasta." Brody said. "Want to come over?"

"Oh, I can't. I got uh... yeah, I can't." Dan avoided eye contact.

"Oh, alright. Well, see ya later." Brody gave Dan a solid high-five and turned up his driveway.

Dan shuffled along, turning up his driveway, fishing out his keys and unlocking the front door, and then stepped inside. He locked the door behind him, and took a big whiff of the stale smells in his home. He got a glass of water from the kitchen, drank half of it, and then meandered down the steps to the basement, opening the door at the bottom, and then closing and locking it behind him.

*******

"It's a graduation gift!" Abbott screamed excitedly.

"That's the one we always talked about, right?" Dan examined the beautiful sports car.

"Yup."

"Same color too."

"Yup."

"Let's go pick up the guys."

"Oh, uh, yeah."

Abbott drove like a madman, Dan was clutching the edge of the window the entire drive. They got Brody first, and he cheered excitedly the entire time he sat in the backseat. They got Charlie next, and then the four drove back to Abbott's. They played video games until Abbott announced that the party would be starting soon.

"Half an hour til everyone shows up." Abbott sported a huge grin. "It's gonna be the best night of our lives, fellas."

"Oh, um, I can't stay." Dan avoided eye contact.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Abbott was appalled.

"Yeah, dude, it's our graduation party!" Brody's arms were flailing around.

"I just... can't."

"Why not??" Abbott demanded answers.

"I just can't. Sorry, guys."

Dan left, his friends baffled. He walked all the way home, passing by many cars filled with excited classmates honking and cheering. He passed by Brody's house, seeing his parents inside through the windows, bright lights on, dinner on the table. Brody's younger sisters were eating with his parents. Dan made his way to his house, unlocked the door, locked it behind him, navigated his house, found some crackers and mashed several into his mouth. He made his way down the stairs to the basement, opened the door, and locked it behind him.

*******

The four all went to the same college together and had plenty more great times. Brody and Charlie roomed together just down the hall from Abbott and Dan. Abbott got a girlfriend soon after the start of freshman year and so he spent less nights in their shared room, but he was still around all the time during the day. Brody and Charlie played on the baseball team and made a ton of new baseball friends, but they were still always around, hanging out with Abbott and Dan. But they had many more close friends... more than Dan, anyway. He'd made a few friends in his writing classes. There were some cool guys there.

Abbott's girlfriend broke up with him halfway through sophomore year. Everyone was there for him, Brody most of all. Brody had gotten a fake ID so he helped Abbott to drown his sorrows in alcohol. All four of them drank, of course, it was college. But Abbott and Brody drank a lot. It affected Brody's play on the baseball team and he lost his starting position. Meanwhile, Charlie's game was just getting better and better. He spent a lot of time with his coaches and fellow players, but of course, still made plenty of time for his childhood friends. Dan went home every other weekend. When the others asked why, he just said that he had to.

Junior year, Charlie decided he wanted to room with one of his baseball friends in order to promote the growth of his baseball career. Abbott and Brody decided they wanted to room together as they were getting even closer, and since Dan was considering going back home and just commuting to school. And so he did just that.

When they graduated, Abbott threw another graduation party at his parents' house. He invited college friends, high school friends, and of course, his childhood friends. Charlie was doing a dinner with his parents that night but said he would come over after. Brody said he would be there immediately, and even did lunch with Abbott and his parents. Dan told them he'd have to miss the party and stayed home.

"I don't get it." Abbott said. "What's up with him?"

Charlie shrugged.

Brody shrugged too. "Not sure."

*******

Brody broke the exciting news. He'd be getting married! Everyone loved his girlfriend Maria, he'd been with her ever since the last week of college. It had been four years, and he knew she was perfect for him. Abbott was to be his best man. Charlie, Dan, and Maria's brothers Wes and Max would be his other groomsmen.

Brody and Maria had many events leading up to the wedding. Brody loved being able to spend time with Abbott, Charlie, and Dan because the four hadn't spent as much time together lately what with their jobs and everything. They did a bachelor party days before, just a fun poker night with drinks and good food and movies. Maria's brothers were there too. The night before was a fun event that at everyone who would be attending the wedding was at, drinking, socializing... it was a blast.

Around 10 P.M. Dan cleared his throat, realizing he had Abbott, Brody, and Charlie alone. "Guys, I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to make the wedding tomorrow."

"What?!" Brody was livid. "What do you mean?? Why??"

"I'm sorry, Brody. I just... I can't, OK?"

"I don't understand. You wait until now to tell me?"

"It's not that I waited--"

"And why the hell not?? You owe me an explanation!"

"I can't."

"You can't what? You can't come or you can't tell me?"

"Right. I can't. I'm sorry."

Abbott began to get just as angry as Brody, shaking his head furiously. "Dude, what is your problem? You always do this."

"I know. Just... trust me. I can't."

"Well, if you can't... then, I guess... you can't." Charlie gave him a sympathetic slap on the shoulder.

"Unacceptable!" Brody stormed off to get a drink. Abbott followed him.

"I'll talk to them." Charlie said to Dan, and then followed after them.

Charlie did talk to them, but it had no effect. Abbott and Brody never talked to Dan again. Dan tried texting, calling, arranging meet-ups. Abbott and Brody didn't even tell him no, they just ignored him. Dan met up with Charlie a few months after the wedding, just to hang out.

"They won't talk to me." Dan said.

"Yeah, they said they never want to talk to you again." Charlie told him bluntly.

"I can't blame them."

"They don't understand why you can't explain anything to them."

"I know. I get it."

"Because we've known each other forever." Charlie added.

"I know." Dan felt ashamed and looked down at his lap.

"But..." Charlie continued. "We have known each other forever."

Dan looked up.

Charlie took a deep breath. "So, you know. Buds. If you can't... you can't.""

"Thanks, Charlie."

The two spent quality time together, not bringing up this topic again the entire time, until the very end. When Charlie had to ask once more. "So, you really can't explain anything? Why you just vanish sometimes?"

"I can't."

"Alright, well, we're buds. Not everyone has to know everything, right? But tell me when you can hang out again. And we'll hang."

"Saturday?" Dan offered.

"Got a date with Scarlet. Fourth date, in fact. But Sunday?"

"Yeah!"

The two embraced and went their separate ways. Dan went back to his home that he had always lived at, unlocked the door, shut the door behind himself and promptly locked it. He got a glass of water, drank half of it, and left the glass on the counter. He descended the steps to the basement, opening the door, and promptly locking that one behind himself as well.

He felt around for the pull chain and yanked it down, illuminating the basement with the dim lightbulb above. Dan squinted his eyes, adjusting to the change in light, scoping out the basement. All the unpacked boxes lining the walls, the tricycles off to the left, the table saw to the right. He stepped forward slowly, careful to avoid the open toolbox on the floor. He took a direct line to the back of the basement, to the oak table pressed against the back wall. He centered himself in front of the table, looking down at the three-foot by three-foot wooden box sitting there so clean, so pristine, the padlock holding the lid shut gleaming in the limited light of the basement.

Dan took a deep breath in, and then let it out slowly. He removed the keys from his pocket, slid the metal teeth into the padlock, twisting, and removing the lock altogether. He set it aside gently, placed his hands on the lid, and lifted them in unison. The lid creaked as it opened and then thudded as Dan pushed it into the back wall. It hung there at a 45-degree angle, the box's innards exposed, but still dark inside.

Dan gazed into the box. Into the darkness. Waiting for the light to enter. Waiting to see.