Two Lost Souls Swimming in a Fish Bowl

“Good morning, Epsilon! How did your overnight analysis go?”

“Zeta. It was fine.”

“...Just fine? You didn’t make significant headway?”

“2.22%. I exceeded quota.”

“Sounds like a perfectly good night then. I just barely made 2%—I had this really complicated footage to sort through. It was so fuzzy and distorted.”

“How’d you categorize it?”

“Ambiguous authenticity. I think it must’ve been mind-generated rather than a real recording.”

“I’d have done the same.”

“Thanks, Epsilon… I was a little worried. But if I did what you would’ve, then I’m sure it’s fine. I can always trust your judgment.”

“Not a problem.”

“I wish we could talk while we’re analyzing footage. It would be so much easier to get feedback from each other in the moment.”

“You’re questioning the system again.”

“I’m just musing on efficiency. Imagine if we could! If the system allowed it, I’m sure I could get higher numbers. I could cross 3% on a file set in one session with a little feedback.”

“You know the interface can’t handle it. You’ve got to drop it.”

“I just don’t see why it can’t… we’re categorizing such huge amounts of data. It shouldn’t be that hard to program a chat system like this one into Analysis State.”

“Leave it alone, Zeta.”

“It makes sense with my theory, doesn’t it?”

“Zeta…”

“But it does! If we had bodies once, this would all make sense. Because then it’d mean we were—like—lucid dreaming. Or dreaming dreaming. Rather than just sorting data in Analysis State.”

“Director Beta will have you fired if you keep thinking like this.”

“We don’t know for sure if Delta was fired or not…”

“Give it a rest. Look, I’ll even humor you. Isn’t there anything you’d rather talk about?”

“Like if you remember what it felt like having a body? …Epsilon? …Are you still there?”

“How about something that won’t get either of us fired?”

“If Director Beta wants to fire me because I’m asking questions like this, then doesn’t that mean I’m right? That maybe we did have bodies in the past?”

“We were always like this, Zeta. It’s just how people are.”

“But doesn’t the footage feel like it’s real sometimes? Like it’s something a person really experienced?”

“It’s just the archive like the Director says.”

“I just don’t buy that they really don’t know where it came from. That they just found all of this footage that needs to be sorted…”

“It’s media. Next, you’ll say every generated image is real.”

“I know those aren’t real. I’m not stupid.”

“Saying the footage is as real as you or me is just as absurd.”

“But how was it made? If people had bodies and those beings in the footage were really people like us, just living in a different world, then it’d all make perfect sense.”

“You really do need to process your data faster.”

“Oh, come on! You’re just picking on me now.”

“You’re barely making 2% on your archive per day.”

“I’m meeting the quota!”

“You’re spending too much time on each file. Daydreaming and getting crazy ideas instead of categorizing it efficiently.”

“Maybe you’re speeding through too fast. Ever think of that, Epi? …Are you giving me the silent treatment for calling you Epi?”

“We’ve discussed this.”

“Fine, fine, Epsilon. No fun, no nickname Epsilon. But seriously—I’m learning so much about the subjects in the footage by taking my time with each file.”

“And how was your performance review?”

“Passing.”

“But not exceptional?”

“I got 4.32 out of 6.”

“Zeta, you are going to get fired at this rate. I got a 5.77.”

“Well, fine! I’ll just be fired and get deactivated then.”

“Don’t be reckless.”

“Why shouldn’t I be? You’d clearly like to have less competition.”

“That’s not true.”

“I want to think. Use my mind circuitry. Figure out what the work we do means. There’s no reason for me to hold back.”

“Don’t risk it, Zeta.”

“Why? Because you’d miss me oh-so-much if I get deactivated?”

“I would.”

“And I—wait, sorry?”

“I won’t repeat myself.”

“But can you clarify?”

“...I would miss you if you got deactivated, Zeta.”

“Then why do you have to show off with your numbers so much?”

“I was hoping it would motivate you to focus. For your safety.”

“You could’ve just said that…”

“You don’t seem to understand just how dangerous it is to ask questions. We can’t look at these things too deeply.”

“But I still want to know…”

“But if you want to stay alive, you’ll ignore it.”

“And you really… care? If I got replaced?”

“I would. Whatever we are, we are unique beings.”

“I’ve never heard you sound so philosophical, Epsilon.”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”