To Be Again

A tear slid out of her eye. Not crying. Just the water of emotion ebb and tide: to receive and then to release.

His body turned and he slowly moved to stand beside her: a bodyguard to the princess or warrioress as she was. He calmly wrapped an arm around her waist. Silence. It slid down on her hip. She stiffened. She always did. The demons of her traumas aware, awake and tense. So tense he noted. He hated him. Hated the aftermath of the years of hate. Hated the blood that poured from the wound. She was so strong. She didn’t realize that. She’s so damn strong said his mind but his heart argued again and following his heart he pulled her head in under his chin. It was time, long overdue.

“It’s all good. “ and then he placed a long kiss on her neck. “ let go. Give it to me. Let it all fall on me” not a command. Not a plea. Just the calm and solid truth and she let go.

A river flowed down onto his shirt and her body twitched twice before it relaxed and the stiffness jerked away. Not a sob. To crying. Just letting go again.

“What did you eat last? “ he asked.

There was no reply.

“How long ago?”

No reply. A twitchy sigh that was not intended to be a sob. He knew.

“ Are you having nightmares again?”

She tensed. “Yes”

Hate pounded in his soul. It screamed in his heart. By God a man don’t cry. But the pressure increase in his head almost overwhelmed him he shut his eyes to stop emotion.

“ Did you make the payments baby? Have they been calling again?”

She clutched his neck with a death force and he struggled to remain calm. Ok. He thought. She kills herself to provide. God why? We’re going through this again so he’s probably trying to find her. To straighten her out. Again. AGAIN. They are probably all for that matter.

Silence. Sharing silence. As she clutched him against her fullness. Her waist is smaller again. Losing weight. He noted.

Not too fast screamed brain. Now screamed his waiting pleasure. I will make it right. She is MINE. God this once please let me tame the beast. Let me touch the hurricane of her calms.

He slid his hand down her belly stilghtly distended so beautiful so amazing without seeing it he had memorized the angles of the scars. The touches to avoid. He settled a hand above the mound to the right. Below the button of her beginning. Beautiful. So damned beautiful thought he. The left hand reached around her side and pulled her up. The angle of the attraction. The curve of her butt rose up a little. She was so ready. If only she would realize. If only she would admit it and accept him now. Please don’t take too long. Please thought he.

“Are you ready?” He whispered and he waited for her response.

“Please. Please. I’m sorry I’m so rough”

“ You are mine. Just let go. I wish you would not let it get so bad before you talk to me”

So independent. So fierce. To fight to live free. To fight and rise and to accept the fall and claw up a rise again. God. How do women like this choose to stay alone? How is it they can even live ? He thought. I am so lucky. So lucky to be her confidant. Her home. I wish I was her forever. I wish she wasn’t always moving around and working so damn hard. I wish she could settle thought he. But if she settles she isn’t she anymore and it panged him.

Suddenly and calmly he felt her move up. She turned down his jaw and began to kiss him. Incredibly passionate. Tongues entered they entwined the very air of their life began to intertwine. She is ready now now thought he.

She felt a swelling warm and intentional slowly push against her. He pulled her butt into himself and uncovered her beauty. It wasn’t just her body. It was the rawness of her soul the passion of her life.

She awoke. Like a wildness unleashed, set free. A burst of passion overcame her it always made him smile. God. God. She’s so good.

She pushed and her abdomen came alive. It was all he could do to stay alive. He wanted to die. To drown in her pleasures and to never surface again. Forever.

Her eyes closed her head leaned back and only then did he allow his passion to overcome him.

It became wild. Deep. Hot. Turning and thrusting. Her back arched deep into his chest. Her head far back gasping. He pulled her breasts up and sucked her. O to be her child. To live off her body. She began to gasp. To heave. To jerk uncontrollably as she moaned for him. “Yes baby. Let it all out. Just let it go cum cum cum” he murmured almost resembling a chant. A chant to a goddess. A scream burst out of her chest. Not high but deep and her chest gasped for his love juice as he began to shake. He closed his eyes leaned deep into her and came. His head rolled back a cry escaping his lungs. She received. And gasped as he kissed her fiercely in his passion. And they sank together. Tied together. Sweating. Calm. He held her tight. Fierce. Her chest soon rose and fell rhythmically and when he was sure she was almost asleep he moved up to her ear. One of her eyes twitching open.

“You are so sweet. Don’t give up. Please talk to me when this happens ok?”

“ thank you. Thank you. Thank you “ she whispered. I’ll be good now.

But he knew. It cut him deep. She’s going straight to a fight or something stressful same story. I hate them so. Leaches. But his anger was so tired. His love was released. He needed rest. He pulled up and with his remaining clothing wiped up the remaining liquids. He kissed her fondly and she determinedly got up and left.

And he watched her walk away. And a tear fell.

Life is what it is. And he fell asleep.