This Year

This year, yes this year.... teaching me lessons, opening my mind to reality, learning from the experiences, maturity from the lessons.

Everything seemed vague, but now the significance of a year...

A year can change for the better and can also change for the worst

A year can make you frown and can also make you smile

You can gain and lose In a year...

Your hate can be turned into love and your love can also be turned into hate in a year

A year can make or mar

A year can create and destroy

Never underestimate the power of a year, because the changes that come with it are so powerful that your life could take a drastic turn and the intriguing part is that most of the time, not your environment brings that change, not the food you eat or the clothes you wear, brings about the greatest change, but the lessons you learn from the people that make up your year.

Here is a summary of how my year went....

At first it was rossy, always called me suzzy, cause that was what you loved for me. Not until everything started making me dizzy, changing me to this crazy.

The year started with it's usual morning glory, leaving us amazed by it's beauty, as time went on though it started becoming blurry, it left us to face our reality.

In a matter of time, things began to change and everytime I kept quiet cause I felt it was just a phase and it'll pass, but as the year went by, my reality stared me in the face, leaving me in my conscious state. But everytime it left a scar, a memory, a message, a lesson, a mark that did nothing, but change me and now all you do is ask me questions and funny enough I won't be able to answer them, cause I don't give a damn anymore...

If you ever asked me what happened, if you ever for a moment notice a slight decline in my attitude, if you ever see me alone, if you ever feel like I don't give a damn anymore.

Know that it isn't my fault, know that I didn't make it this way and it didn't just happen overnight.

It was those times I put myself out there

Those times I chose to be nice

Those times I chose to close my eyes to the insults

Those times I chose to overlook your mistakes

Those times that I went back even though I knew you were wrong, playing the fool...

Those times I chose to be wrong so that you'll be right

Those times I had sleepless nights cause I wasn't treated the right way, cause I wasn't treated with respect, cause my opinions were overlooked

Those times I said "Hi" when I knew you were supposed to say it first

Those times I was snubbed and the only time you ever opened your mouth came with a harsh tone.

Yes!! all *those* times changed me, they made me realize that it's all pointless. Even though at some point you thought you were on the winning side because it always seemed like I was the one always running back, always being the fool to reply calmly, even with the insults.

What you failed to realize is that all those times started shaping me

Shaping me to be on the defense

Changing my mindset

Changing my affection

Changing my care

Changing me and for the worst and now, you see the changes and you ask me, what is the problem? I didn't expect this from you? how did all these start? why did you give me that reply? you were not like this?

And all I'll tell you is that; "This year changed me"